Short Cross Eyed Poems

The culprit asleep 
Upstairs. I go cross-eyed.
Lego in my shoe....

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Perplexed cross-eyed peeper, encountered grim reaper.
Unsnapped devil’s raincoat, castrated cork afloat....

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There once was a cross-eyed guy
Whose symptom he liked to deny
He’d always resist
His optometrist
Coz they just couldn’t see eye-to-eye...

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wriggling my nose
looking cross eyed at raindrops…
                                            trickling sunshine


John G. Lawless
©11/14/2022...

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See simple Sydney, wherever he go's
He'll show you a trick with fingers and toes
Counting to twenty 
If that's not plenty
Make it twenty one, cross eyed on his nose!...

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Never marry a girl that’s cross eyed
Standing in front of her I could hide
Thought she wed the best men
Who were Ken and Glen
She is now a polygamist bride


© 2000...

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Love bodily functions, no question bout that
Sometimes my best ones even frighten the cat
They climb up a pole
It can sure take its toll
Some end up cross eyed unable to nap...

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Love bodily functions, no question bout that
Sometimes my best ones even frighten the cat
They climb up a pole
It can sure take its toll
Some end up cross eyed unable to nap...

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Tweety meets Sylvester's cross-eyed cousin
One who's close enough to be his kissin'
Tweety sort of gotten sick
Ma Goosey gave her Fave stick
Poor-cat be THE but* of Bakers Dozen...

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Love bodily functions, no question bout that
Sometimes my best ones even frighten the cat
She climbed up a pole
It can sure take its toll
Some cats end up cross-eyed unable to nap...

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They say “If you make a woman laugh, you half way there.”
But if she’s cross eyed you have to beware
She’ll be looking at you
And at your friend too
You might get married, but they'll end up having an affair...

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Cross eyed woman had a nasty fall 
after running into a brick wall 
she was hit over the head 
with a big loaf of bread 
while trying to play basketball. 

Copyright Cynthia Jones 
Sept.23/2004...

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If you should cross a vampire
With a green eyed pussycat,
Would you get a flying kitty,
Or a cross eyed, bloody bat?        
                                                  
If you should cross an umpire
With a runner at third base,
Would the runner get a better call,
Or an umpire in his face?...

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SAND LESS BEACH- A Haiku

unfriendly foreshore
a little, bad hammer swims
beyond the sand less

mud color red clay
water dissipated skies
fish hidden gone where

capture unfriendly
a cross eyed, mad sea gull swims
on the sand less beach 

skydiving sea gull
people playing volleyball
on the sand less beach 

5/27/19...

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used an abused an tossed aside,
been there mate, 
nuff 2 send ya cross-eyed,
but all good fun, cos i couldna hate,
the lady sweet ....who dumped me late...
or otherwise....:) she barred the gate...
the French kisser got denied,
but i sidestepped way from suicide,
twas johnsons fate...
me chips was fried...

thanks Ronny Madonsela "Zoe"
love it mate...

Don...

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She wears a shiny pink hat and she stares at me cross-eyed.
I smile, trying to pretend all is well and she is normal.
She glares at me ferociously, proving she is not.

I do not know her.
She does not know me.
I watch her glaring and staring and I burst out laughing.
I cannot stop.

Proving I am not normal either.
We end up scooting to each other’s tables
and become friends for the morning....

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I saw a Woodpecker up a tree.
He looked very cross-eyed to me.
This woodpecker could not peck,
The poor bird was a wreck.

His pecker had dropped off,
When he very loudly coughed.
I saw him banging his head repeatedly,
Because it was time for his tea.

Woody soon felt very weak.
You can't be a woodpecker without a beak.
I realized why he looked cross-eyed to me,
He kept banging his head upon the tree....

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To uninformed ears
The best of pen plain appears,
To him who can’t see,
A cross-eyed girl is beauty,
To hard to hear, jeers are cheers. 
__________________________________
Tanka (Tongue-in-cheek) |14.07.2023| poetry, beauty
Poet’s note: This is a Tanka dressed as a Limerick. 
Based on a shloka in Sanskrit:
Aprati-buddhe shrotari vaktur-vaakyam prayaati vaifalyam |
Nayana-viheene bhartari laavanyam iva iha khanjana-akhinaam ||
...

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My friend, why have you spun out of joint?
Or am I now cross-eyed?
Is one of us running out of rhythm?
Or both spinning in circles?
Why is everything I say just a question?
Can I speak or write a statement?
Would you play Beethoven,
or shall I put on Mozart?
Is this not something I ask you?
So why should this be so?
I will change.
Gosh, I've just made a statement, not asked a question!
Was this not a great conversion?


(May 2022)...

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There once was a silly raccoon
 He slept in a tree until noon
 He came down to play
 He decided to stay
 He danced a jig to a tune

 Val the Cross-eyed Owl
 She saw his jig and said-"WOW"!
 The Owl and Raccoon
 Then danced to the tune
 She stepped on his tail then he "HOWLED"

 The raccoons name is Harry
 Miss Val lets you and I get married
 The Owl and Raccoon
 Were married in June
 They lived in a tree near the prairie


7-21-19...

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She is cross eyed someone argued.
I ignored this, for I did not care.
And she slashes her sword the wrong direction.
Up and down in the air.

She wears her captain hat crooked.
It is always falling off her head.
I ignored their bantering,
I was wanting to fall asleep instead.

How can she be the pirate king? One asked.
She never follows through with even one task.
I did not care. I did not care.
I gave them a mean paw, straight up in the air....

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In 12 lines I will be dead
and the blame will be fully yours
been thinking about this for centuries
just needed the tilt you provided
from the great ocean of requirement
fantasized at law giver central
by cross eyed fanatics wailing truth
while eating their children in sacrifice
to propitiate the next shooting star extinction
how we got here from there is not pretty
and an application of aesthetics
would be more than bad taste
it would be false...

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We wear a smile to hide,
the tears we wear inside.
Our laughter we have applied,
feeling it will be our guide.
Life is but a wild ride,
filled with how we have lied.
One's beliefs can be set aside,
when one choose to backslide.
Have lies been our guide,
watch out it will make you cross-eyed....

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He does not look up,
he is struggling with a vision of me
that has no roots.
The brush in his small hand
is as thick as a besom
plunged into bone-white paper.
Eyes appear,
burning with love or impatience,
hard to tell.
The outline of a too large a head,
nose, mouth, and eyes,
purple, green and red streaks
adrift in a bubble.
Today I see again
that spaced-out image,
a garish cross-eyed mask
looking this way and that,
as it searches blindly for fatherhood....

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I like it when animals are 
Snouts in deep, 
rummaging through their fur,
cleaning themselves,
abruptly after meal or sleep. 
Like an old woman at a sale,
digging through a purse, 
come highwater or hell.
Remembering where they left off
by hydrosortic layer.
Making that snorting sound,
like a pig after a Truffle.
Shake like a Hen after a feather ruffle.
Then they look at you cross eyed a few seconds, 
switch positions, and breathe in,
and at it again. 
Zen...

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