Short Burps Poems

Journeys have bumps; would you rather a flat soda and miss all the burps?...

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my  dog slurps and burps
naps on my lap
sheds hair on the chair
licks my face, no grace...

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Burps are often stifled,
But belches should be loud.
When burping one looks sheepish,
When belching one looks proud....

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Bubba's goat is baaaaad 
It done gone and ate his shorts 
Burps the abc's. 

Copyright © Cynthia Jones 
Oct.16/2005...

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SILLY HAIKU

bovine strike over
price of milk is coming down
contented,  cows graze

too late for robert –
sign warns of carnivore plants -
red chlorophyll burps...

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How’s he travel?
With burps, bumps and screams
Made to travel with ease
Your temples I came to see
And am left to ponder the possibilities
Alone
I mean
Except the fish...

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A blind poet stumbles into a bar
Counts the number of drunk patrons there are
   Adds up all the burps
   Plus all the loud slurps
Drives them home in his brand-new sports car...

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   Carbonation's bubbles
     create inside of me
   A reservoir of burps
     waiting to be freed

   When they're released
     at the 'perfect time'
    Incredibly effective
     as lol lines...

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Ladies marry the man of their dreams in a church
Eventually... she ends up married to a couch that burps
Happens the world over
From Brisbane to Dover
He could be an axe murderer so things could be worse...

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You might know my mom Carla
Or maybe you do not
But I am sure
You haven't heard
That she burps a lot

She's burping when she's happy
And also when she's mad
All through the day
She burps away
And it makes her really sad...

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Ladies marry the man of their dreams in a church
Eventually... she end up married to a couch that burps
Happens the world over
From Brisbane to Dover
Could've been an axe murderer and things would've been worse...

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Larry and Harry spend nights at a bar

Neither have a job or even a car

     Drunken Larry burps freely

     Harry gropes touchy/feely

That these two are unmarried is bizarre





*Written May 24 for Catie's contest...

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He is a coward.
He got heart problems.
He have an ulcer.
He is scared of ghosts.
He runs in the dark.



He lies. He falls. 
He slips.He cries.
He snores.He smells.
He shouts.He yells.



He screams.
He looks weak.
He's alone

He farts.
He burps.

Care....

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Gnirps, Syrups and Turnips

Guess what Gnirps are or is?

Two gnus had meet two gnirps
Had burps and tried many syrups
By time problem was final solved;
Eat no more gnirps they resolved;
Found success after eating turnips.

Jim Horn

Gnarrs and gnarls came up
for gnirps. Have you figured 
out gnirps are yet?...

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The Dawn 

Dawn’s drunken dragon yawns
from his fiery bed 
slowly sending steam to rise
salmon – peach
Breathing hinted color upon darkened sky

Lifting weary head 
ache he roars
coral – copper glowing light
and burps his pungent morning breath 
blazing 
fire engine red, burnt orange, sunburst golden flame 
firing sky 
awake

Published: Red Fez...

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~A Night at the Pub~



Benny burped British beer.
Betty, his beatiful beau, could not bear it!

Betty, burped a huge bubble back at Benny.
Beer burps, for the beloved's face are far more than bad,not worth a penny


Benny continued beside his beau, guzzling the luscious foam.
Better drive your beautiful Benz home, leaving burping, beaus alone!

                          
                         4/21/2021...

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She is feeding her hedgehog a dandelion brew.
We do not interrupt her until she is through.
How does he like it? We ask as he slurps.
See for yourself she says, as he gives some loud burps.

Persnickety hedgehog says, “Why don’t you ask me yourself?”
I scoot myself a bit farther back on the oak limb’s magical shelf.
Don’t be shy! The hedgehog says. Any more questions for me?
I try to pretend I am one with the tree....

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Life sucks.
Plucks you from your mother's belly
Weans, silks your skin, 
Fondly toys with you 
and grows you.

Life sucks.
Slyly beguiles you 
To mate, create,
Spit out your genes.
In moments of sin or folly.

Life sucks.
Soon, too soon, it pounces.
And plays a while,
Scratches out your eyes,
Crumples your bones.

Life Sucks.
Finally tiring of you
Life licks out your soul 
With greedy slurps,
Smacks its lips, then burps!...

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. for public domain

Simple light games of Solitaire,
with Heifetz on Bach from Echo,
sweet and joyful notes arranged
in patterns of sound so pleasing;

Simple striking rays of day's new dawn,
my arms outstretched in open yawn,
fresh dew's sweetly scented morning air,
the window sun upon her hair;

Simple days again reset and fresh,
bathroom burps with chirps enmesh.
Would more days could begin this way,
soft memories of yesterday....

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Eats soup and slurps
   Drinks beer and burps
In sinks he spits
   His toothbrush, the pits

His socks have holes
   His shoes, no soles
His shirts are faded
   His wardrobe's dated
  
I've heard him curse
   His grammar's worse
Thinks a compliment
   Is a bad accident

His smiles don't last
   His heyday's passed
His health's not great
   He's overweight...

But he's my husband
   And I dearly love him      
Like me, he's perfect    
   That's why we clicked!...

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Although Miss P. was nobility,
Very scarce was her gentility.
She farted and burped.
And soup simply slurped.
Loudly too with no humility.

Let’s marry her off, her mother said.
Her gas is enough to rouse the dead.
Who would take her though?
She can burp a buffalo
Her shirt always full of food when she fed.

They arranged a ball for sweet Miss P.
For those who knew her would not tea.
Her burps made them laugh.
Her farts like a calf.
Amused guests went home laughing with glee....

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