Rear End Poems

Tails

...They asked the fox about his witness. 
He pointed to his tail. 
They asked the dog about his witness. 
He pointed to the baboon.
They asked the gorilla about his witness. 
He pointed to his rear...

Balmy Knights

...I told you so, I TOLD you so

But you never listen to me 

You're loud, proud, and your head's in a cloud

And your eyes are too blind to see

You just use your head for a hat rack 

And yo...

Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation redux revisited

...Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... redux revisited

Upteenth instance where yours truly
experienced assault upon hindquarters.

A worse hellish fate than perdition
and the closest in...

Memento on the Moon

...A mate of Musk, I’m told I’m going soon
(if NASA still exists, this side of June):
the lack of oxygen might make me swoon
- my rear end is as puckered as a prune!
I feel I ought to leave a happy ...

Environmental shots

...Unique
Elite swimmer
brown, tailless, Pied-billed Grebes
can float, dive or simply submerge
graceful

dark eyes
cinnamon tone
heard but not often seen
rear end feet, lobed toes, poor flier
...

dragged into retirement

...I was dragged into retirement with my rear end bumping against cinders
It was the last thing I wanted to do; except maybe die.
But God spoke by giving me ailments that convinced me I had to quit
W...

we both dread this

...We are taking the dog to the vet today
He weighs as much as I did when I was a bride
His rear end is bigger than mine
I cannot do it alone

I dread this, my husband says
I can relate
I dread i...

Whatever, this was dumb anyway

...Always messing up
When I feel so upset
Going all in way too hard
To lose another stupid bet

Losing all my hard earned money
Yet again I am robbed blind
At this point it’s all quite funny
I h...

I Am Thankful For

...

The world and all its splendor where life begins
Human Beings of all and those who I call friends
America our diverse country and all that she defends
Nights and da...

Tequila Ted Talk

...Lit up like a Christmas tree 
Is papa after his festive drink
He’s a funny one
Can’t hold his tongue
Dances and he sings

Words that make no sense
Long winded when he’s bent
He gives a Ted Ta...

My Cat is Ferocious

...Matt’s dog was a sweetie, a retriever who loved everyone
New female friend thought bringing her cat would be fun.
The dog was giddy, glad to have a new furry friend.
Until the cat got persnickety ...

Defecation accidentally clogged

...Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to o...

Under the Overpass

...wings could drive you crazy
under the overpass, the crows
gather one by one, flapping
it is a perfect day, stuck underneath
where cars borrow the bird’s view
without a whisper or toll, torrent
...

Visiting Beatnik Cats

...they are beatnik cats, their house is a bit much I was told.
Their colors were all warm – purples, reds, pinks, all bold.
I love it here I said, sitting down in a cozy sixties beatnik chair.
Of co...

Visiting Beatnik Cats

...they are beatnik cats, their house is a bit much I was told.
Their colors were all warm – purples, reds, pinks, all bold.
I love it here I said, sitting down in a cozy sixties beatnik chair.
Of co...

• Short Rear End Poems
• Famous Rear End Poems
• Best Rear End Poems
• Read Rear End Poems
• Long Rear End Poems
• Rear End Quotes