Short Rear End Poems

It says in the rear
That it’s not the end
It’s just the rear end

Russell Sivey...

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She had quite a leaky old bladder,
and a rear end as flat as a platter,
she went to the store,
cant take it anymore,
Depends now makes her rear appear fatter....

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Rough desperate cowgirl Etta,
Really should have known better,
When she finally got a boyfriend
She quickly branded his rear end,
He surely did live to regret her....

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Want To Propose

This is what I want to propose
If fly is open and it shows
How far down must it go
Before rear end starts to show
Felt a tingling in my toes.

Jim Horn...

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I never get tired of looking at you

I never get tired
of looking at you
my dear

I love your face
I love your breasts
I love especially your rear end
carnally enticing to me...

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Pity the poor porcupine
  on what kind of chair can it dine

It cannot sit on its rear end
  for its quills will not bend

And if it stands on its head
  it will surely be dead...

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When buying clothing in latter years
Allow room to grow, especially 'bout the rear
For some strange reason
The rear end region
Is destined to expand much faster than your ears...

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I've started to freak out, I've run outta gas
Can't think of giggly stuff that will tickle your ass
Maybe an elderly lady
Naked near eighty
Shielded my eyes for fear of a rear-end rash...

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Backward
Bashful, Reversed
Retreating, Inverting, Retiring
Bigot, Rear End; Progress, Frontage
Advancing, Developing, Growing
Cultured, Civilized
Forward

written August 23, 2021...

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Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when
The ketchup bottle “farts”... into convulsions I descend
Immature you say
From reality I stray
Giggle when I see a lady's skirt tucked up in her rear end...

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A baboon at the zoo cleverly

made gestures to me like a friend,

then turned right around, displaying to me

his giant red ugly rear end!


Aug. 23, 2017 for the Animal Nonsense Poetry Contest...

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they are beatnik cats, their house is a bit much I was told.
Their colors were all warm – purples, reds, pinks, all bold.
I love it here I said, sitting down in a cozy sixties beatnik chair.
Of course, by the time I left my rear end was full of cat hair....

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they are beatnik cats, their house is a bit much I was told.
Their colors were all warm – purples, reds, pinks, all bold.
I love it here I said, sitting down in a cozy sixties beatnik chair.
Of course, by the time I left my rear end was full of cat hair....

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Beat up old Ford,
along the freeway,
rear end jacked,
flat tire is off,
the trunk is open
and the dentritus
of a life exposed.
Clothes, empty brake 
fluid cans,
children's toys,
a paper back book,
loose pages dancing
in the traffic,
flat spare tire and
tools left lying
impotent in a frozen
moment....

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represented- projected reflected
from everywhichaway today is
everyday & what can i say i'm
working towards the end & my
reasons are in the air (i don't care)
but i'll defend, give you a spank
on the rear end. don't commend
the likes of me cuz you like me
continue to shock- startling
developments which i systematic
ally destroy....

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There was a Jewish man from Andorra
Who singed his rear end on a menorah
   Sparks flew to his feet
   Providing this treat
He sure danced one mean Chanukah hora






__________________________________________________
Notes:
  A menorah is the special Chanukah lamp lit for eight nights
  The hora is a traditional Jewish/Israeli celebratory circle dance...

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She wasn’t sure
If he had paid her
A compliment or an insult,
When he patted her posterior
And called her a bubble butt...

Wikipedia states: "Bubble butt" has at least two connotations, which are at odds with each other: either a small, round and firm pair of buttocks resembling a pair of soap bubbles next to each other, or a large rear end, seemingly about to burst from the strain....

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Are Best Won


Found football for fools

With their ridiculous rules

Different thoughts of schools.


Mules sure are stubborn

Must hit again and again

In of course rear end.


Football have to boot

As I sit like an old coot

Loudly have to hoot.


Super Bowl just won

Whole team will sit in the sun

Now they are best one


James Thomas Horn

Retired Veteran...

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AWAY IN A RED BULL

Away in a Red Bull
No speed limit here
I drive at two hundred
I’m born with no fear

I catch the Mercedes
And pass it with ease
From then on my rear end
Is all that he sees

I enter the pit lane
The pit crew awake
Four tyres in three seconds
No error they make

No one can stay near me 
And each night I pray
That always and ever
That’s how it will stay...

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This 1966 mustang that i own
It unique and thinks it has it own throne
Oh yes it drives
Thats until the engine dies
Was this car ever fast
To me it seems out classed
Since last year I've worked on this car
Everyone knows i haven't got that far
But i know it has potential
Even thought i just broke it rear end differential
It doesn't roar
And no its not like that greek god thoar
More or less its funny 
I should call it a big lovable bunny...

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~ CONFUSED MALE CANARY ~

  There once was a confused male canary
  Who fancied himself a real cute faerie
     He found a male friend
     Peered in his rear end
  Pulled out a note: "Hi, My name's Mary."  



   ~ POOR KITTEN NAMED MUFF ~

  Sue took in a poor kitten she named Muff
  Showed her a reefer, some really good stuff
     Muff whipped out a badge
     Inscribed with this adage
  You were busted when you took your first puff...

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Skiggin Skiggin my bonhomie friend
Imported From Mars I can apprehend
Skiggin Skiggin suspended at world's loose end


Skiggin Skiggin I do love you
Skiggin Skiggin no kitchen no loo
I have gone to City mall to buy you a shoe

Skiggin Skiggin my Martian bee 
No flower no honey only you and me
Skiggin Skiggin mom has made a cup of tea


Skiggin Skiggin my bonhomie friend
So glossy so mossy so lossy rear end
Let your eyes be closed and dream descend....

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Why not grow, a goatee or a beard
if you think, you look really weird

Why not wear, those three-quarter shorts
if you think, your legs look like warts

Why not wear, no belt with your pants
if you think, your rear end is for glance

Why not put those studs on your body
if you think, you were born a zombie

Why not put tattoos on your skin
if you think, you’re in a tailspin

Why don’t you like, what you see in the mirror
if you think, that you are getting queerer...

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Advice 
By: miracle Man
2-15-2020

Don’t ever, you shouldn’t, you Can’t,
age always leaves behind embers from the fire.
 But ability always drives our vehicle,
in the back seat sits desire, disappointed.

It’s inevitable. the time comes for each,
when a positive attitude won’t get it done,
and accomplishing meaningful things become akin
to lighting wet wood with gofer matches.

So on these days I do mechanic work on my recliner,
putting a Rear End in it.
Tom
...

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