Short Rear End Poems

It says in the rear
That it’s not the end
It’s just the rear end

Russell Sivey...

Read More

She had quite a leaky old bladder,
and a rear end as flat as a platter,
she went to the store,
cant take it anymore,
Depends now makes her rear appear fatter....

Read More

Rough desperate cowgirl Etta,
Really should have known better,
When she finally got a boyfriend
She quickly branded his rear end,
He surely did live to regret her....

Read More

Want To Propose

This is what I want to propose
If fly is open and it shows
How far down must it go
Before rear end starts to show
Felt a tingling in my toes.

Jim Horn...

Read More

I never get tired of looking at you

I never get tired
of looking at you
my dear

I love your face
I love your breasts
I love especially your rear end
carnally enticing to me...

Read More

Pity the poor porcupine
  on what kind of chair can it dine

It cannot sit on its rear end
  for its quills will not bend

And if it stands on its head
  it will surely be dead...

Read More

When buying clothing in latter years
Allow room to grow, especially 'bout the rear
For some strange reason
The rear end region
Is destined to expand much faster than your ears...

Read More

I've started to freak out, I've run outta gas
Can't think of giggly stuff that will tickle your ass
Maybe an elderly lady
Naked near eighty
Shielded my eyes for fear of a rear-end rash...

Read More

Backward
Bashful, Reversed
Retreating, Inverting, Retiring
Bigot, Rear End; Progress, Frontage
Advancing, Developing, Growing
Cultured, Civilized
Forward

written August 23, 2021...

Read More

Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when
The ketchup bottle “farts”... into convulsions I descend
Immature you say
From reality I stray
Giggle when I see a lady's skirt tucked up in her rear end...

Read More

A baboon at the zoo cleverly

made gestures to me like a friend,

then turned right around, displaying to me

his giant red ugly rear end!


Aug. 23, 2017 for the Animal Nonsense Poetry Contest...

Read More

they are beatnik cats, their house is a bit much I was told.
Their colors were all warm – purples, reds, pinks, all bold.
I love it here I said, sitting down in a cozy sixties beatnik chair.
Of course, by the time I left my rear end was full of cat hair....

Read More

they are beatnik cats, their house is a bit much I was told.
Their colors were all warm – purples, reds, pinks, all bold.
I love it here I said, sitting down in a cozy sixties beatnik chair.
Of course, by the time I left my rear end was full of cat hair....

Read More

We are taking the dog to the vet today
He weighs as much as I did when I was a bride
His rear end is bigger than mine
I cannot do it alone

I dread this, my husband says
I can relate
I dread it too
Not the car ride, but the shots

We don’t like anyone hurting our dog....

Read More

Beat up old Ford,
along the freeway,
rear end jacked,
flat tire is off,
the trunk is open
and the dentritus
of a life exposed.
Clothes, empty brake 
fluid cans,
children's toys,
a paper back book,
loose pages dancing
in the traffic,
flat spare tire and
tools left lying
impotent in a frozen
moment....

Read More

represented- projected reflected
from everywhichaway today is
everyday & what can i say i'm
working towards the end & my
reasons are in the air (i don't care)
but i'll defend, give you a spank
on the rear end. don't commend
the likes of me cuz you like me
continue to shock- startling
developments which i systematic
ally destroy....

Read More

There was a Jewish man from Andorra
Who singed his rear end on a menorah
   Sparks flew to his feet
   Providing this treat
He sure danced one mean Chanukah hora






__________________________________________________
Notes:
  A menorah is the special Chanukah lamp lit for eight nights
  The hora is a traditional Jewish/Israeli celebratory circle dance...

Read More

Lit up like a Christmas tree 
Is papa after his festive drink
He’s a funny one
Can’t hold his tongue
Dances and he sings

Words that make no sense
Long winded when he’s bent
He gives a Ted Talk
About how to stand tall
And falls on his rear end

Despite his huge blue pride
He knew too drunk to drive
In his sloppy stupor
He calls an Uber
Goes home to angry wife
...

Read More

She wasn’t sure
If he had paid her
A compliment or an insult,
When he patted her posterior
And called her a bubble butt...

Wikipedia states: "Bubble butt" has at least two connotations, which are at odds with each other: either a small, round and firm pair of buttocks resembling a pair of soap bubbles next to each other, or a large rear end, seemingly about to burst from the strain....

Read More

Unique
Elite swimmer
brown, tailless, Pied-billed Grebes
can float, dive or simply submerge
graceful

dark eyes
cinnamon tone
heard but not often seen
rear end feet, lobed toes, poor flier
gawky

small bird
solitary
widespread, but rarely seen
dramatic silent crash-diver
decent

patient
near to nest bowl
I hide in marsh water
to capture still clear reflection
I wait...

Read More

Are Best Won


Found football for fools

With their ridiculous rules

Different thoughts of schools.


Mules sure are stubborn

Must hit again and again

In of course rear end.


Football have to boot

As I sit like an old coot

Loudly have to hoot.


Super Bowl just won

Whole team will sit in the sun

Now they are best one


James Thomas Horn

Retired Veteran...

Read More

AWAY IN A RED BULL

Away in a Red Bull
No speed limit here
I drive at two hundred
I’m born with no fear

I catch the Mercedes
And pass it with ease
From then on my rear end
Is all that he sees

I enter the pit lane
The pit crew awake
Four tyres in three seconds
No error they make

No one can stay near me 
And each night I pray
That always and ever
That’s how it will stay...

Read More

This 1966 mustang that i own
It unique and thinks it has it own throne
Oh yes it drives
Thats until the engine dies
Was this car ever fast
To me it seems out classed
Since last year I've worked on this car
Everyone knows i haven't got that far
But i know it has potential
Even thought i just broke it rear end differential
It doesn't roar
And no its not like that greek god thoar
More or less its funny 
I should call it a big lovable bunny...

Read More

~ CONFUSED MALE CANARY ~

  There once was a confused male canary
  Who fancied himself a real cute faerie
     He found a male friend
     Peered in his rear end
  Pulled out a note: "Hi, My name's Mary."  



   ~ POOR KITTEN NAMED MUFF ~

  Sue took in a poor kitten she named Muff
  Showed her a reefer, some really good stuff
     Muff whipped out a badge
     Inscribed with this adage
  You were busted when you took your first puff...

Read More

Matt’s dog was a sweetie, a retriever who loved everyone
New female friend thought bringing her cat would be fun.
The dog was giddy, glad to have a new furry friend.
Until the cat got persnickety and bit him hard on the rear end.

The dog gave a yelp and ran off to hide from the beast.
Jim tried to bandage his tail; he apologized at least.
His new amour laughed; said she had a ferocious cat.
This was the end of her relationship with good-natured Matt....

Read More