If you’re very lucky, you may find
The type of handyman
Who can take care of the problems
That you now no longer can.
Climb a ladder to the roof? No prob -
It’s what he likes to do
And while up there, he will clean
The cloudy skylights, just for you.
Clogged up gutters? With some gloves
He’ll scoop out leaves and dirt and gunk,
Staying cheerful through it all.
(I know that I’d be in a funk.)
When he’s finished, he will lowball
What he thinks that you should pay.
Do you know of anybody else
Who’d act in that same way?
Handy Randy is this person
Who is capable and fair
And reliable and really nice,
These attributes so rare.
It’s nice to know a handyman
To help when things go wrong,
Who fixes things around the house
And you don’t wait too long.
A pipe that drips, a door that sticks,
A light to be replaced
And any of a hundred other
Problems you have faced.
When someone with both time and tools
Can luckily be found,
Be grateful for his expertise
And hope he sticks around.
Randy Ray Rudolph remained reliable
remembering remarkable reservations, undeniable
rapidly retrieving results, reuniting relatives I recall
responsible, respectful, revered and regal overall.
Watch out for a girl named Andie.
She goes around stealing candy.
And worse, she will try
to steal a girl’s guy,
for Andie also is randy.
She’s sure an insatiable chick.
Though lollipops she loves to lick,
she has also been caught
getting heavy and hot
with every Tom, Harry, and Dick.
A randy surfer from Malibu Crest
Untied the bikini top off of Celest
You’re my Betty let’s hang loose
As he tried for her caboose
She slapped his hand away from her breast
Aloha Barney and get off my turf
You’re a randy dude, who can’t even surf
Rico won’t tell you again
I bet you’ve never hung ten
She's not your Betty, uncool of you Murph
Randy Fish
I saw you fishing
Down by the river
What were you wishing?
Enough to shiver
Were you secretly kissing?
Any old randy giver?
Indian Hills, Colorado produced a fine singer-songwriter.
He wrote many pieces of rock and country that were lighter.
His one big hit song that was heard from coast to coast
was the 1979 great "Just When I Needed You Most".
Unfortunately, in 2004, this man passed away.
His cremated earthly remains are orbiting in space today.
I thank wikipedia.org online encyclopedia for valuable information I obtained to write this poem.
Still walking in dreamland at this very late stage
My heads in the clouds, but I'm on to the last page
It ain't over yet
Still randy as heck
Before I run amok better lock your daughters in a cage
Still walking in dreamland at this very late stage
My heads in the clouds, but I'm on to the last page
It ain't over yet
Still randy by heck
So you still better lock your daughters in a cage
`Twas Christmas Eve and in the air a chill
Rudolph had to stand down cos he felt ill
Santa started to panic
So he sent for a medic
Who in error gave Rudolph a blue pill.
He soon perked up and was raring to go
Santa was pleased and shouted ho ho ho
But then a surprise
Between the stags thighs
Rudolphs man thing was beginning to grow.
Surprised Santa just looked on in dismay
As Rudolph managed to break from the sleigh
A deer park he went
Picked up some doe's scent
And with every doe had his wicked way.
Written 7th December 2020.
Christmas Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Alexis Y.
Rudolph the reindeer had twin,Randolph
Rudy had him fill in, while he golfed
Santa didn't approve
He got he removed
He ran and sobbed,to their dad Gandalph
Alexis Y.
12/18/19
I can’t stand my brother Randy,
stole all my Halloween candy!
He said, “it’s all fine and dandy."
Guess I’ll just get more from Sandy!
I can’t even tell mom and dad,
they could blame me for being bad!
Why would he play a monster trick
thinking he’s sly and very slick.
As soon as he swiped, he ran quick,
I tried to push and tried to kick-
Randy robbed my candy in fright…
ruining my Halloween night!
May Randy see a severe scold-
as the night begins to unfold.
October 29, 2019
If I were your brother Poetry Contest
Bobby May
Randy I swear it just doesn't seem possible that 1 year ago today
it was one of the most horrible days that had ever happened in our lives
it was the day you passed away and it was much too soon
but to me it feels like it was just yesterday when our hearts forever broken and it left an open wound
but i know that you re with our family those already gone
while we are left here to try to carry on
i still dont understand why you had to go away
living this miserable life without you
is what we struggle with everyday
October 23rd just 4 days after my birthday came
this year is the first birthday without you
those days will never be the same
i know to some it doesn't matter its just another day
but not everyone felt that way you always made time to send happy wishes my way
you and sue always loved me no matter who or what has been said
ill never forget the shock and heartbreak when sue told me you was dead
i sank to my knees to the floor and many tears i cried
i really miss you randy i wish i could talk to you
please tell mom and carol and scotty and gypsy too to watch over us here below
His warriors called him Chief Randy Moose
Since with young maidens he played fast and loose
He was very prolific
His stamina terrific
He enlarged his tribe with many papoose
The first day of work, a fiasco became
Given badges with first initial, last name
None could be sicker
Than Randy Slicker
"Please, don't do this to me!", he would exclaim!
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