Poohing Poems | Examples


Premium Member Proof Positive

From his mishandling Afghanistan
     to Chinese weather balloons

  From pooh-poohing inflation
     to 'afraid-of-Putin' palpitations...

  Joe Biden has proved for once and for all ~
     Octogenarian presidents need a new pair of balls

Premium Member Climate Change

The Earth is changing right before our eyes
global warming is melting the ice caps;
observing this shift, we feign our surprise.

Coral reefs are in danger of collapse,
rising waters threaten coastal cities;
global warming is melting the ice caps.

It is too late for government committees
assessing this threat to do anything;
rising waters threaten coastal cities.

We're robbing our children and their offspring;
it's serious; there's no time left for folks
assessing this threat to do anything.

By rejecting climate change as a hoax,
we've called it a conspiracy, and now,
it's serious; there's no time left for folks.

And despite all the pooh-poohing, somehow,
the Earth is changing right before our eyes.
We've called it a conspiracy, and now,
observing this shift, we feign our surprise.


Shipping Fees

My Shutterfly order was 48 bucks
But shipping was just under 30.
To charge such a fee for a space on the trucks
Is ridiculous and downright dirty.

I waited on hold for a live support chat
And was told there was naught they’d be doing
Except for a 5 dollar gift card, if that
Would suffice, an idea worth pooh-poohing.

Since they usually offer some deals I will wait
For I’m not in that much of a hurry
But if lots of their customers choose the same fate
Maybe corporate should start to worry.

Premium Member She Could Read His Mind

Her groom started to speak but bride interrupted him
Guessing what he wanted.
This happened often
Wife always got the last word

Trying to figure out what husband wanted
Before he could tell her
Reading his mind
Giving him her idea of what he wanted daily

Husband tried a few more times
But wife slapped him down, pooh-poohing his ideas. 
She knew his mind better than he did.
She could meet his every need without words. 

Years later, Wife was angry when Husband left
She had spent years trying to please him
She was totally sideswiped by his lack of compassion
Never realizing she should have listened at least once.

Premium Member His Wife Is Giving Him the Silent Tweetment

My neighbour’s addicted to Twitter
He’ll tweet when he’s doing a ‘sitter’
When he squats for a dump
He tweets more than Don Trump
No wonder his wife feels so bitter

The whole world knows what Fred is doing
He’s tweeting whilst weeing and poohing
Is nothing sacred
For tweet obsessed Fred
I wonder if divorce is now brewing!



1/16/20


Premium Member The Thin Line

There is a thin line between the laugh and the cry.
The laugh is often perfected by one who has silenced her crying.
The laugh is sometimes a ruse, a ready weapon to camouflage pain.
When the laugh is hearty, loud, disturbing even, it can be masking a horror.
Do not be fooled by the laughing; these people are often hurting more than any of the others.
Get to know them.   Ask “how are you really feeling?”
Do not be surprised if they laugh, pooh-poohing you.
If you persist they may tell you that they do not have any emotions.
Many children raised in the “olden days” were never allowed to have them.
Feelings were shut off in childhood, by parents who could only accept the laughing.
Sometimes the best clowns, the ones who keep us in constant stitches
Are doing so, to keep themselves from throwing a rope over a rafter.
Sometimes they break down, finally, and jump out the eighteen floor window.
Do not be fooled by the laughing.
It can be even more disturbing
Than a perpetual pouty face,
Or an angry arm-crossed bully-ish attitude.
Be aware of the laughing.
It is often a mask to cover the worst pain.
Robin Williams and John Belushi knew this.

Premium Member Mad Cow

In France a cow's called a vache
A crass bovine who's moo is so brash
Some are infected by mad cow disease
They give sour milk, making rancid cheese
I know what will be a cow's fate
One day soon she'll be on my plate
I will not miss its whiney mooing
Or cow pats in fields from its poohing

Inspired by but not for Animal Nonsense Contest


08-18-17

Premium Member I'Ve Got the Doggy Doo Blues - For Contest

Woke up this morning all forlorn
Piles of dog poop lie on my lawn

I’d love to find the offending mutt
Give his owner a cork for its butt!

Dog poop is a disgusting mess
It gets everywhere I must confess

Come on dog owners make me happy
Put your pooch in a doggy nappy

Notices say 'clean up dog poop' - 
All you need is a poop-a-scoop

Or simply carry a plastic bag …
If I see YOUR dog poohing – I will nag

Just clear up the offensive doggy doo - 
It’s not a difficult thing to do!

Contest – Everyone Poops – Roy Jerden
07~26~15

Naysayers

When someone tells you, “That won’t work!”
Just smile and keep it quiet.
Though contradictions sure can irk,
You really shouldn’t buy it.

For sticking to your guns, you’ll find,
Will benefit you greatly.
By letting others change your mind,
You’ll get messed up, innately.

The trust you feel within your gut
Is there for your survival.
Ignore it and quite soon, a rut
Will welcome your arrival.

So let the naysayers say nay
And do what you’ve been doing,
‘Cause no one should be led astray
By anyone’s pooh-poohing.

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