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His Wife Is Giving Him the Silent Tweetment

My neighbour’s addicted to Twitter
He’ll tweet when he’s doing a ‘sitter’
When he squats for a dump
He tweets more than Don Trump
No wonder his wife feels so bitter

The whole world knows what Fred is doing
He’s tweeting whilst weeing and poohing
Is nothing sacred
For tweet obsessed Fred
I wonder if divorce is now brewing!



1/16/20

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2020

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Paul Schneiter Date: 2/20/2020 8:53:00 PM I read this 30 minutes ago, and I'm still laughing. I think, Jan, that Oxford should award you a Ph.d in Bawdy Humor, thereby starting a, ah major movement. Hugs, Paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/23/2020 2:07:00 PM I know my humour isn't to everyone's taste - i am so glad you got a giggle from it:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich Date: 1/19/2020 2:05:00 PM this one was very nearly as excellent as the first set I read. Keep up on your limerick roll, dear Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:46:00 PM Thanks Andrea just a lot of fun lol, I never know what will come into my head lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 1/18/2020 8:12:00 PM Well, if divorce is not brewing, he can always open a brewery! Yeccchhh! LOL. Thanks, Jan. Smiles, Gershon Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:46:00 PM lol GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong Date: 1/18/2020 12:23:00 PM This is very funny Jan. The phone is attached to some like an extra appendage. xxoo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:47:00 PM oh definitely Connie, and folk seem to like to tell people everything they do lol:-) hugs Jan xx

M. L. Kiser Date: 1/18/2020 3:44:00 AM No doubt it is brewing for Fred; what a tweeter! Great limericks. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:47:00 PM thanks Ml:-) hugs Jan xx

Cecilia Macfarlane Date: 1/17/2020 12:52:00 PM A marriage heading for the toilet. So funny Jan . Love this awesome clever limerick. Hugs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:48:00 PM thanks so much Cecilia:-) hugs Jan xx

Maurice Rigoler Date: 1/17/2020 9:14:00 AM Haha! This is hilarious, Jan. Photo is great too! Did you know there are contests for limericks on he internet, some with prizes? / M Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:49:00 PM N I wasn't aware Maurice - if they don't have a $ entry fee I could give it a shot:-) hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe Date: 1/17/2020 7:04:00 AM Happy to be back and see your funny limericks again :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:51:00 PM Oh welcome back Agnes! You have been missed I was only thinking about you a couple of days ago and woosh here you are:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger Date: 1/17/2020 5:28:00 AM This is stinking funny! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:52:00 PM Thanks Caren:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin Date: 1/17/2020 4:55:00 AM Ha ha, hilarious Jan! :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:52:00 PM Thanks Tania:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues Date: 1/16/2020 8:51:00 PM Something’s brewing! He’s quite the stinker...lol Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:53:00 PM Lol thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie Date: 1/16/2020 8:42:00 PM G'day Jan … oh well, it sounds like its curing his wife's constipation - thanks Jan - Lindsay Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:54:00 PM Thanks Lindsay:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta Date: 1/16/2020 6:23:00 PM He hasn't noticed the camera is operating? Aloha! Rico Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:54:00 PM No Rico lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Ronald D Thompson Date: 1/16/2020 4:38:00 PM Love this Jan, such fun to read. Best wishes...Ron :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:54:00 PM Thanks Ronald:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer Date: 1/16/2020 4:14:00 PM hilarious, jan! this is one for the books! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:55:00 PM It will be one day when i get my act together !!!:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 1/16/2020 1:19:00 PM Hope she doesn't flush his device right down the toilet! Smiles, Gershon Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:57:00 PM Great thought GW!:-) hugs Jan xx

Chris Green Date: 1/16/2020 12:28:00 PM That was funny Jan. Maybe he is the king of tweeting...he is sitting on the throne. : ) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:58:00 PM LOl he is out trumping trump:-) hugs jan xx

Darlene De Beaulieu Date: 1/16/2020 12:09:00 PM Hello Jan, I would not be surprised if a divorce is pending. Have a nice day my friend. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 2:59:00 PM thankfully its fiction, my neighbours are lovely:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham Date: 1/16/2020 12:09:00 PM Many important decisions have been made on the throne Jan although some have been crap lol. F. Book, twitter, I keep well away. Tom Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 3:00:00 PM Great comment Tom:-) hugs Jan xx

Winged Warrior Date: 1/16/2020 12:08:00 PM The rumpster dumpster...best place to tweet after you eat lol...nice one Jan...all the best for the new year girl...^WW^ :o) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/19/2020 3:00:00 PM thanks so much ^WW^:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus Date: 1/16/2020 11:19:00 AM Addictions have broken up many a marriage, Jan!! Hopefully Fred's wife will see the witty side of this double Limerick :) Hugs // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/16/2020 11:27:00 AM Thanks Paul, pure fiction on my part but I can imagine obsessions especially with mobile phones can drive relationships apart especially if someone is cheating and won't loose sight of their mobile device. Glad you are back on the site, hope you are feeling much better:-) hugs Jan xx