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His Wife Is Giving Him the Silent Tweetment

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My neighbour’s addicted to Twitter He’ll tweet when he’s doing a ‘sitter’ When he squats for a dump He tweets more than Don Trump No wonder his wife feels so bitter The whole world knows what Fred is doing He’s tweeting whilst weeing and poohing Is nothing sacred For tweet obsessed Fred I wonder if divorce is now brewing! 1/16/20

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Paul Schneiter

Date: 2/20/2020 8:53:00 PM

I read this 30 minutes ago, and I'm still laughing. I think, Jan, that Oxford should award you a Ph.d in Bawdy Humor, thereby starting a, ah major movement. Hugs, Paul

Jan Allison
Date: 2/23/2020 2:07:00 PM

I know my humour isn't to everyone's taste - i am so glad you got a giggle from it:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/19/2020 2:05:00 PM

this one was very nearly as excellent as the first set I read. Keep up on your limerick roll, dear Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:46:00 PM

Thanks Andrea just a lot of fun lol, I never know what will come into my head lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 1/18/2020 8:12:00 PM

Well, if divorce is not brewing, he can always open a brewery! Yeccchhh! LOL. Thanks, Jan. Smiles, Gershon

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:46:00 PM

lol GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 1/18/2020 12:23:00 PM

This is very funny Jan. The phone is attached to some like an extra appendage. xxoo

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:47:00 PM

oh definitely Connie, and folk seem to like to tell people everything they do lol:-) hugs Jan xx

M. L. Kiser

Date: 1/18/2020 3:44:00 AM

No doubt it is brewing for Fred; what a tweeter! Great limericks.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:47:00 PM

thanks Ml:-) hugs Jan xx

Cecilia Macfarlane

Date: 1/17/2020 12:52:00 PM

A marriage heading for the toilet. So funny Jan . Love this awesome clever limerick. Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:48:00 PM

thanks so much Cecilia:-) hugs Jan xx

Maurice Rigoler

Date: 1/17/2020 9:14:00 AM

Haha! This is hilarious, Jan. Photo is great too! Did you know there are contests for limericks on he internet, some with prizes? / M

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:49:00 PM

N I wasn't aware Maurice - if they don't have a $ entry fee I could give it a shot:-) hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe

Date: 1/17/2020 7:04:00 AM

Happy to be back and see your funny limericks again :)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:51:00 PM

Oh welcome back Agnes! You have been missed I was only thinking about you a couple of days ago and woosh here you are:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 1/17/2020 5:28:00 AM

This is stinking funny!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:52:00 PM

Thanks Caren:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 1/17/2020 4:55:00 AM

Ha ha, hilarious Jan! :)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:52:00 PM

Thanks Tania:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 1/16/2020 8:51:00 PM

Something’s brewing! He’s quite the stinker...lol

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:53:00 PM

Lol thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 1/16/2020 8:42:00 PM

G'day Jan … oh well, it sounds like its curing his wife's constipation - thanks Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:54:00 PM

Thanks Lindsay:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 1/16/2020 6:23:00 PM

He hasn't noticed the camera is operating? Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:54:00 PM

No Rico lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Ronald D Thompson

Date: 1/16/2020 4:38:00 PM

Love this Jan, such fun to read. Best wishes...Ron :)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:54:00 PM

Thanks Ronald:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 1/16/2020 4:14:00 PM

hilarious, jan! this is one for the books!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:55:00 PM

It will be one day when i get my act together !!!:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 1/16/2020 1:19:00 PM

Hope she doesn't flush his device right down the toilet! Smiles, Gershon

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:57:00 PM

Great thought GW!:-) hugs Jan xx

Chris Green

Date: 1/16/2020 12:28:00 PM

That was funny Jan. Maybe he is the king of tweeting...he is sitting on the throne. : )

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:58:00 PM

LOl he is out trumping trump:-) hugs jan xx

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 1/16/2020 12:09:00 PM

Hello Jan, I would not be surprised if a divorce is pending. Have a nice day my friend.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 2:59:00 PM

thankfully its fiction, my neighbours are lovely:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 1/16/2020 12:09:00 PM

Many important decisions have been made on the throne Jan although some have been crap lol. F. Book, twitter, I keep well away. Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 3:00:00 PM

Great comment Tom:-) hugs Jan xx

Winged Warrior

Date: 1/16/2020 12:08:00 PM

The rumpster dumpster...best place to tweet after you eat lol...nice one Jan...all the best for the new year girl...^WW^ :o)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/19/2020 3:00:00 PM

thanks so much ^WW^:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 1/16/2020 11:19:00 AM

Addictions have broken up many a marriage, Jan!! Hopefully Fred's wife will see the witty side of this double Limerick :) Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 1/16/2020 11:27:00 AM

Thanks Paul, pure fiction on my part but I can imagine obsessions especially with mobile phones can drive relationships apart especially if someone is cheating and won't loose sight of their mobile device. Glad you are back on the site, hope you are feeling much better:-) hugs Jan xx