Funny Pirate Poems | Examples
These Funny Pirate poems are examples of Pirate poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Pirate Funny poems written by international poets.
argh
the wooden pirate
with a real leg
‘pon his left shoulder
not a parrot but a peg
argh
his ship inverted
sailed ‘neath the wave
and in his treasure chest
was a craggy cave
argh
he roared with rum
empty barrels were full
his flag was white
black bones and skull
argh
the flag though ripped
caught on his hook
but not for a hand
‘twas ‘stead of a foot
argh
he roamed the undersea
looking for loot
but oh all the bubbles
from a whale in a boot
argh
the old salt
was seawardly feared
for everyone knew
and heard of Woodbeard
argh
the submariner pirate
of raid and of plunder
sprang up on those
and pulled them all under
A pirate sailed into the Spanish bay
his luck just kept getting better that day
“My sword has rusted
I need it dusted.”
Aurora, the young barmaid, shouted “Ole!”
My health is back; I am almost normal
I had been in the bowels of depression
after eight weeks of shingles that took me out and shook me
I saw my friends yesterday, for the first time
Seeing them is a great way to generate poem ideas
Their stories are always funny and spicy.
My grandchildren came over last week.
They were so glad to see me alive and healthy
After a hiatus that seemed to last ten years!
I am drawing cartoons, and painting in my studio.
It waited for me, happily, ready to give me joy
Whenever I was ready.
I picked up a dictionary yesterday and began
Looking for new words. I have a word list all over a page.
They are ready when I am ready.
In the meantime I am back in my studio drawing
Faeries, witches, cats, dragons, and pirate ships.
My health is so great, I dare you to make me walk that plank.
I dare you to try and get my goat.
I dare you to irritate me. My health is back!
I am enthusiastically me again. Splash.
A man in a black patch is yar
And parrots make good mates by gar
With an optional hook
And a dastardly look
Any pirate is bound to go far
April 14, 2019
To the ship they row
Pirates Pete and Bo
Sea prowess to show
Sailing!
Argh! They proudly crow
Greeting all they know
With a 'Yo-ho-ho'
Hailing!
Sea terrors, heigh-ho!
Stolen treasures stow
Overboard men throw
Quailing!
Storm winds fiercely blow
Apprehensions grow
Enemy adds woe
Trailing...
Formidable foe
Tragic overthrow
Sad, their ship's death-throe
Failing!
Sloshing to and fro
Amid undertow
Down and down they go
Flailing!
Out the waters flow
Bath-time over, so
Out the pirates go
Wailing!
Another attempt at a Lai poem... still not sure whether I'm getting it right, but either way, it was fun! ;D
A Pirate queen on the Dixie Queen
Had a toothache truly bad and mean
They docked for a day
In Pelican Bay
Sorry choppers now happy and clean
Once upon a time a pirate limped by
"How old are you?", I then asked with a sigh
What he said was good
But misunderstood
"Aye matey, you need not know!", his reply
Shiver me timbers
What's going on
I was dressed as a pirate
When I woke up this morn
I looked in the mirror
And let out an Arrrr....
I came equipped an eye patch
And a swash buckling Scar
I felt the strong urge
For grog, meat, and cheese
Went into the kitchen
Told the winch who lives with me
It's my new pirate attitude
That I have to thank
For the look that I got
And why I'm now walking the plank
When I arrived at the office
It wasn't the ship I'd hoped for
And security at the front desk
Barred me from bringing my saber to work
With all these modern day regulations
How's a pirate to get a break
When the only body of water nearby
Is a drainage ditch and man made lake
And the only pirate booty
That I'd hoped to see
Is right now swabbing the kitchen deck
While talking mutiny
Still the days barnacle adventures
Had a lot going on
As my head hits the pillow
I wonder what I'll wake up as tomorrow morn
Shiver me timbers
What's going on
I was dressed as a pirate
When I woke up this morn
I looked in the mirror
And let out an Arrrr....
I came equipped an eye patch
And a swash buckling scar
I felt the strong urge
For grog, meat, and cheese
Went into the kitchen
Told the winch who lives with me
It's my new pirate attitude
That I have to thank
For the look that I got
And why I'm now walking the plank
When I arrived at the office
It wasn't the ship I'd hoped for
And security at the front desk
Barred me from bringing my saber to work
With all these modern day regulations
How's a pirate to get a break
When the only body of water nearby
Is a drainage ditch and man made lake
And the only pirate booty
That I'd hoped to see
Is right now swapping the kitchen deck
While talking mutiny
Still the days barnacle adventures
Had a lot going on
As my head hits the pillow
I wonder what I'll wake up as tomorrow morn
A pirate captain yelling orders on deck,
Was bitten by his parrot on the neck,
His blood-curdling scream
Followed by a volley of blaspheme,
Caused him to be known as Captain Peck.
Argh! Matey, now it's time for you
To take a little walk.
You see that plank, off of the side?
Now walk the walk you talk!
A pirate you have always been
And should have came to be
But, then you crossed the meanest one...
That pirate crossed, was me!
Now, step up to that plank out there..
You fate..awaits for you.
For when a pirate crosses me...
They walk that same plank too!
SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN"
Wobbly-boot ter rubbity-dub
nary me ol' hide did scrub
showin' crack
'n grinder plaque
th' pirate's shorin'
Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot,
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'
Th' briny whore, th' scurvy wench
wit' bloomers off 'n stinky stench
fer ha'penny's worth
did warm me berth
'n rolled off snorin'
Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot,
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'
Up th' hips 'n spread th' knees
tig ol' bitties pump 'n squeeze
roll th' rump
hump-hump-hump-hump
a-rippin' 'n roarin'
Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot,
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'
She laughs at captain jack sparrow
When he does his funny escapades
Doesn’t like the flesh eating mermaids
Say it makes her feel afraid
Then I did something so dumb
I wasn’t thinking straight
What I did made her think
That I was a pirate
I send her a picture
And I think she got scared
Cause in that picture
I forget to shave my beard
Now I am worrying
Will she still be my friend?
If anything change between us
My life will start to descend
She has her own idea of love
And she is always right
You can love someone but to be
In love you must hold them tight
And she is so perfect
In everything she does
And she is the smartest person
I think there ever was
Everything about her
Is original and true
From the cloths she wears
To her beautiful flowers shoes
I am cooking chicken
Bur I’m feeling very sad
Don’t want to lose her friendship
It’s all I ever had
If she stop talking to me
My life will reach the end
And when they bury me
Hope they throw away my pen
A Pirate
There once was a pirate called Mangon
Who raped the High Seas with a fangen*
But one night at Port
They captured the sport
Now crows rape his bones where he's hangin'!
©deborah burch
4/1/2012
*note: fangen (fanging)---"moving at outrageous speeds;
desire something greatly; to need badly")
also: "to seize; grab"
Pirate Peter Pan flew over his ship
Among the stars and misty clouds
While Tinker Bell his mistress old
Sat on the deck sunning her skin
And when a ship was sighted afar
The lost boys sharpened their knives anew
He bound and gagged one and all
And made Wendy walk the plank
A terror on seas, but a jolly fellow
Having a harem of tender belles
For whom time and again he’d bellow
And when Captain Hook came to the rescue
Lazy Tinker Bell took him under her wing
He rode on the back of the wind
And high above the blue
This pirate of the Neverland sea
All so very long ago