I used to hate dresses,
The feeling of air blowing onto my legs and the need for sandals.
I hated the way my light blonde leg hair would shine so brightly in the sun.
High schoolers were so scary,
Taller than me, bigger than me, more mature.
Now I am that high schooler and I still feel that way about them.
I’ve always been the smallest girl on the field, in the classroom, on stage.
It gnaws at me because it is unchangeable.
Unchangeable in ways I would do anything for.
Gone are the days of running around on the playground,
Now are the days of straightened hair and perfect outfits.
Girlhood hits like a train, ending the non-gender conforming ways of childhood imagination.
Pre-conceived notions and unachievable expectations.
I used to be afraid to perform.
But that’s what girlhood is.
BALLERINAS
ballerinas
spell-binding, exquisite
leaping, gliding, performing
motions,marvels,memories,majesty
thrilling, entrancing, being
true, living
magic
At the Charlie Norton School of Performing Arts
They only taught armoured acting parts.
They had a special maintenance man
Always kept busy with his little oil can
Keeping the suits free of fleas
And all the joints moving with ease,
Especially the cunningly concealed vent
For the disposal of excrement
And the removal of noxious gasses
Which even the refined on occasion passes.
Trying to learn lines could be hell
When surrounded by your own trapped smell.
In the event of a dearth of suitable parts
They taught other non performing arts
Like sweeping leaves away from drains
In the event of torrential rains.
As this part of the course was free
It didn’t carry its own degree
But for the elite chosen few
It could be a unit of your NVQ.
The Charlie Norton School of Performing Arts
Gives your career a powered kick start
They stand there for ages
Pouring out angst and woe,
Seeming to gain strength
As their words start to flow.
They curse and they swear,
Stand, scream and shout,
And I’ve really no idea
What they’re talking about.
Just these loud strident voices
Hammering away in my head
I’m losing the will to live
I’ve long lost the thread.
If you thrive on your misery
Then that’s just fine
Done make me feel guilty for
A happy out look like mine.
I came here full of optimism
But now I’m near suicidal,
Reflecting on the merits of
The old Scolds Bridal,
A quick burst with a taser
Even E.C.T. shocks
Maybe even an hour or so
Chaining them up in the stocks.
I’m finished, I’m leaving
Driven out at last,
Just a relict from
Their very recent past.
I’ve always supped
From the half full cup.
Just a final message,
For God’s sake, lighten up.
He lets his authorized hands slip
Round his wife’s approving hip
And her impatient skirt try to strip
And later apart just rip;
To defeat the time-wasting zip
That aims to spoil things that grip
And The Normal Man trip…
A time to her either lip
Like The Newest Wine sip
And experience a waiter’s thrills from a tip
Or a tongue that did an ice cream dip…
In shall he continue to wonders chip,
While beads of sweat from love drip:
But wisely, no aphrodisiac for his whip,
As it remains in a hurry
To the biggest favor curry:
For this is about his wife
And not an immoral life
Nor a sexually challenging knife!
By faith,* I can enjoy God’s provisions
…believing that He already rained manna from heaven.
By faith, I can explore along God’s protection
…being enclosed within His guarding love.
By faith, I can experience God’s power
…beholding His sustaining hands for service.
By faith, I can exercise trust in His presence
…breathing in His nearness thru prayer’s bliss.
By faith, I can exhibit God’s kindness
…bending to His commands with obedient heart.
*Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
April 2, 2019
Dr. Goo Goo lives in the clouds with God
Follow his instructions to the T when sick
Take two aspirin and call him in the morning
Right now is good. Never is even better
Fevers come with a cough and a quack
Not all doctors are created equal
Some live under rocks or bridges
Deliver babies when not playing golf
Goo Goo wears a mask at Sunday services
Performs surgery on high wires at circuses
Sports the letter G on white pajamas
As a reminder; Who is God and who is not
Surgery on tightropes, scalpel between the teeth
Comes easy with his degrees of certain certainty
With expertise he keeps patients in stitches
But do not laugh when asphyxiated
When the doctor falls do not applaud
Audiences should stay in their seats
For no particular reason
Safety nets and parachutes get lost
Dr. Goo Goo fixes us before we go wrong
Before we return back to ash and dust
From that stuff, primordial goo called humans
Who come with medical and dental plans included
An incredible journey, a delightful insight,
Performing under the big top,
Flying through air, on a wing and a prayer,
Hanging just like a plumb bob,
And the tent is in black, all lights are on you,
Dressed in your leather costume,
Every eye in the house cradles your frame,
Hoping you don’t fall to your doom,
But you manage to fly, with invisible truth,
You manage to belong in the air,
Growing your wings where wings shouldn’t be,
Holding hands with someone upstairs,
And the crowd, well they don’t believe what they saw,
The crowd you know you’ve deceived,
Because the applause is enormous, bigger than big,
For you, on the Flying Trapeze.
without performing duties and responsibilities no one can reach the humanly truth
(in Branson, Missouri)
I've seen Santa on billboards,
in store windows,
on street-corners, ringing tiny bells.
I've seen Santa on TV,
in sales magazines,
in parades with funny little elves.
I've seen Santa in lights,
as blow-ups on front lawns,
hanging on walls or doors,
as painted statues, decorating shelves.
When breezy chill hits the air,
Santa Claus is everywhere.
Kids really dig Santa,
in their hearts, he's real.
Whatever will they think
of Santa, riding on a wheel?
A churning
A burning
A yearning
to let it all out
in just one shout
aaaaaaaaaah!
I can feel the world press
I feel under stress
I am under duress
I must confess
I need to get it out
hopefully in just one shout
aaaaaaaaaah!
I must get it off my chest
I must find rest
I need to let it all out
in just one shout
aaaaaaaaaah!
I feel a churning
a burning
a yearning
to let it out
in just one shout
It’s fun to perform,
Being up on a stage,
To see if the audience
You might engage.
To banter your dialogue,
Belt out your song
And hope that you’ve carried
The watchers along.
To soak up their smiles
And hear their applause
Affirms you’ve succeeded,
Despite a few flaws.
For just a short time,
All that limelight is yours.
Your spirits are dancing;
Your confidence soars.
You wrap up those feelings
Like some gorgeous gift,
To open and savor
When you need a lift.
Every fragment of me is performing
To mimic You,
To follow You,
I’ve been mumbling through masks,
But none of their expressions match Yours.
I’ve been stumbling on stilts,
But they don’t lengthen my pace enough to catch Yours.
Every fragment of me is performing
To reach You,
To find You,
I’ve been roaming across ropes,
But none of them tie me any tighter to You.
I’ve been blundering between bars,
But they don’t hold enough weight to help make my flight any lighter to You.
I have become
as spagyric art
A will-o-wisp of the pen
as each drop of ink falls,
it reflects its alchemy
in my eyes,
like drawing fraternal twins
in a jade sky
I see a measure
of my sadness,
and my joy
presented as balanced scales
perfectly level
but they scatter apart
against a northern wind
tiger blue dragonflies
possess my mind
and the walls sweat
green moss
symphonic trumpets
herald the flickering
lifted and scorched
I separate to join,
as I soar
with the swoon of my art
True feelings to hold behind the mask will see;
Changing colors is the only rightful need.
Emotions come and go behind the face shell.
The joker face detains each falling tear drop.
In happiness or sorrow the wild card swings.
Meeting one contract; then another in love:
Playing the game show never to deliberate;
On what others cannot see behind the jibs.
The ultimate poker card-player playing the blind,
Displays countenance of a professional;
With the feint he wishes for a lucky win
Double or quit his mask would never let him down.
Behind many masks confusion will prevail
For life, he clasps the mask; On death he needs none.
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