Offside Poems | Examples


Nuts and Autumn Leaves

Offside the tree row
Plank the nuts and autumn leaves
As sweepers keep them.
Categories: offside, analogy, beauty, motivation,
Form: Haiku

A Grouchy and Grumpy Husband

My husband is really grouchy and grumpy 
Only comes alive when we have rumpy pumpy
Watches football on TV with beer in hand 
Offside rule is something I don't understand 

My husband's interest in me is on the wain
What can I do so he notices me again ?
Cook him a nice meal might do the trick 
Knowing my luck he would end up ill and sick 

I wonder what makes him grumpy so 
Maybe it's the way the world is I don't know 
Until then I pray he snaps out of it really soon
After all we celebrate our anniversary in June
Categories: offside, age, gender, husband,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberUpon Watching a Video Review

Video replay review video replay review 
I am so frustrated with you 
They said it was offside 
What are you getting at West Ham lied? 
Film makers should suggest 
Moving pictures are not perfect and could create a mess 
You must take in lighting 
Before you all start your fighting 
After that angles are key 
To what one could see 
Make a point its illusional? 
Or just plain delusional
But they say the umps and ref should get glasses
When calling a ball player out in front of the masses 
As we move on 
It is a lesson one should don 
Be aware what you observe 
Since there could be a nasty curve 
Which would send you off life’s path
Grinning an evil smile with a laugh
Categories: offside, blue, emotions, england, film,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberGreased Lightning

Saltcoats born,Saltcoats bred
His darts left many a defender for dead
Had he not been flagged so often for offside
His haul of goals would have sky-highed
His quick reflexes the eye deceived
Leaving linesmen blind to his onside speed
This was a Lisbon Lion with a cheetah's pace
Forcing defenders to foul rather than  chase
Faster by far than any other
He caused defences all sorts of bother
Let us recall with affection  wee Bobby Lennox
To opposing teams always a marauding  menace.
Categories: offside, eulogy, soccer,
Form: Rhyme

Football Players

running 12 men 
24 in total, puffing carbon dioxide
inhaling oxygen from the outside,
shouting a teammate from the other side
watch that space
whistle,that one is playing offside
think should do that in practice,
spectators like that on the east side,

the players, 
the passer-by
where is the wayside
not like sport field with pedestrian roadside
where should one pass?
in a broad daylight in the countryside

a day thinking within side
playing is preferably a cool weather alongside
small place 
big planet 
on a 45 degrees 
rotating with a small country side
Categories: offside, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Cinquain


Premium Member2018 Fifa World Cup - Iran Vs Spain

Iran's offside goal
Costa's wicked ricochet-
hushed vuvuzelas






Copyright © 2018 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Published 2018 in "2018 World Cup Senryu" via wattpad.com
Categories: offside, emotions, football, international, soccer,
Form: Senryu

Premium MemberBattle Rap

Let’s take this outside
Your turn to be objectified
Necktied offside and brutified
Come step outside
Where you can no longer hide
Now you and me can collide

You’re worse than godzilla’s bride
Torpefied and vilified
Uglified, mean and evil-eyed
Always snide and undignified

Ringside, in your false pride
the eyes of Hitler recognized
Executing his genocide
Feeling justified nationwide

Lately I’ve been preoccupied
With thoughts of homicide
Accident by countryside
broadside you flip side 
See you land in the fireside
For all the misery aside
you put me through - testified

Is your meanness really classified
I’m no longer taking it - qualified
I‘m no longer hiding it - quantified
No more excuses - are you satisfied?

Germicide and pesticide
Have you ever tried
To drink a ton of formaldehyde
To soften up your cowhide

Now we can go back inside
Your reign of terror on override
You’re toast and you’re fried
You’re been hogtied and humanified
Stupefied and rectified 
Just as prophesized



Submitted on May 16, 2018 for contest 8-MILE STYLE POETRY CONTEST sponsored by NICK TRIM  -  RANKED 4TH
Categories: offside, abuse, anger, anti bullying,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberFeeling the Fear

fear has negative downward effects
freezing you within its painful grip
there's a consciousness deep within
making you feel about to slip
 
Why has fear this awful power?
that numbs you into its hold
making you lose your nerve
freezing solid so very cold
 
This fear has an inconsistency
never knowing its next hit
such is this fearful devastation
you really want out of this pit
 
It ties your stomach in a knot
twisting and turning all inside
gripping organs internally breathless
catching one on the offside
 
If you can hold your nerve
as this fear paralyses you sore
maybe victory is round the corner
or defeats lies at the door!
Categories: offside, emotions, fear, life,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberFaceless

i stood there faceless

my hands were tied

condemned and speechless

whistled offside

shocked, betrayed

silent

call it a raid

violent

the blind still leading the blind 

thanks, i’ll wait for my own kind
Categories: offside, betrayal,
Form: Rhyme

Just Like Football I Am

Just like football i am....
                       like a religion in all things i do
                         dedicated in love,and family life
                           with skinbob soon to be my wife
                    
                    I don`t slide offside or any foul play
                       i am who i am,and live for today
                         boasting a clean bill of health that money cant buy
                           if help is needed then i will  certainly try

                    To give my help care or support
                      to whatever has been bought
                         or be a good thing has gone on
                           i am the first to say "hey well done"
Categories: offside, passion
Form: Rhyme
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