Awe & shock bowlers in the dock our warlock & glock “the judge”
Rapscallion and stallion wrangling with dangling golden medallion
Facing the pacing battalion on our latest sinking Caribbean galleon
Our burly oracle with each follicle so curly a rock that won't budge
In that 90’s dungeon Robin our classy curmudgeon brassy bludgeon
Truncheon fine dining on a hurly burly Courtenay & Curtly luncheon
Calms alarms and qualms delivers us from harm with stoic heroic psalms
Call to arms more like baobabs than palms those offside charms “the Judge”
Speedsters scary & lairy others wary prime time for our hairy chest fairy
Robin our pace Pontiff willow ace not a whiff or a riff or sniff of what if
Believers in his jobbing levers will go biff in any tiff that's the pith of Smith
Not just a county squire but quite possibly the ultimate Hampshire Sire
Calling card hit it so hard earned the fable label of both BATman & Robin
Hall of fame name can’t smudge hats doff to a complete one off “the Judge”
To my Quarterback,
We are first round draft picks, starters, ready to get off the bench and begin a new season.
We have tackled many problems in our lives and in our previous relationships, but we will not penalize each other from what happened in the past. Yes, there were some fouls in our past, some incomplete passes and some unnecessary roughness, but we don’t have to put our guards up for defense. This time around, we both are on offense.
The difference this time is that God is our Coach.
Therefore, there will be no blocked kicks, no onside kicks, no running offside, no personal fouls, no pass interference and no substitutes.
You threw the perfect pass (your heart), and no one was around, which left me wide open to receive it. I caught it and secured it gracefully.
I wasn’t going to fumble this one. I ran it in and that day we scored a touchdown.
You sweetheart are indeed a perfect catch.
You and I together are now on our way to the Championship, for we are undefeated!
Love Always,
Your Wide Receiver
Offside the tree row
Plank the nuts and autumn leaves
As sweepers keep them.
My husband is really grouchy and grumpy
Only comes alive when we have rumpy pumpy
Watches football on TV with beer in hand
Offside rule is something I don't understand
My husband's interest in me is on the wain
What can I do so he notices me again ?
Cook him a nice meal might do the trick
Knowing my luck he would end up ill and sick
I wonder what makes him grumpy so
Maybe it's the way the world is I don't know
Until then I pray he snaps out of it really soon
After all we celebrate our anniversary in June
Video replay review video replay review
I am so frustrated with you
They said it was offside
What are you getting at West Ham lied?
Film makers should suggest
Moving pictures are not perfect and could create a mess
You must take in lighting
Before you all start your fighting
After that angles are key
To what one could see
Make a point its illusional?
Or just plain delusional
But they say the umps and ref should get glasses
When calling a ball player out in front of the masses
As we move on
It is a lesson one should don
Be aware what you observe
Since there could be a nasty curve
Which would send you off life’s path
Grinning an evil smile with a laugh
Saltcoats born,Saltcoats bred
His darts left many a defender for dead
Had he not been flagged so often for offside
His haul of goals would have sky-highed
His quick reflexes the eye deceived
Leaving linesmen blind to his onside speed
This was a Lisbon Lion with a cheetah's pace
Forcing defenders to foul rather than chase
Faster by far than any other
He caused defences all sorts of bother
Let us recall with affection wee Bobby Lennox
To opposing teams always a marauding menace.
running 12 men
24 in total, puffing carbon dioxide
inhaling oxygen from the outside,
shouting a teammate from the other side
watch that space
whistle,that one is playing offside
think should do that in practice,
spectators like that on the east side,
the players,
the passer-by
where is the wayside
not like sport field with pedestrian roadside
where should one pass?
in a broad daylight in the countryside
a day thinking within side
playing is preferably a cool weather alongside
small place
big planet
on a 45 degrees
rotating with a small country side
Iran's offside goal
Costa's wicked ricochet-
hushed vuvuzelas
Copyright © 2018 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Published 2018 in "2018 World Cup Senryu" via wattpad.com
Let’s take this outside
Your turn to be objectified
Necktied offside and brutified
Come step outside
Where you can no longer hide
Now you and me can collide
You’re worse than godzilla’s bride
Torpefied and vilified
Uglified, mean and evil-eyed
Always snide and undignified
Ringside, in your false pride
the eyes of Hitler recognized
Executing his genocide
Feeling justified nationwide
Lately I’ve been preoccupied
With thoughts of homicide
Accident by countryside
broadside you flip side
See you land in the fireside
For all the misery aside
you put me through - testified
Is your meanness really classified
I’m no longer taking it - qualified
I‘m no longer hiding it - quantified
No more excuses - are you satisfied?
Germicide and pesticide
Have you ever tried
To drink a ton of formaldehyde
To soften up your cowhide
Now we can go back inside
Your reign of terror on override
You’re toast and you’re fried
You’re been hogtied and humanified
Stupefied and rectified
Just as prophesized
AP: Honorable Mention 2025, Honorable Mention 2025
Submitted on May 16, 2018 for contest 8-MILE STYLE POETRY CONTEST sponsored by NICK TRIM - RANKED 4TH
fear has negative downward effects
freezing you within its painful grip
there's a consciousness deep within
making you feel about to slip
Why has fear this awful power?
that numbs you into its hold
making you lose your nerve
freezing solid so very cold
This fear has an inconsistency
never knowing its next hit
such is this fearful devastation
you really want out of this pit
It ties your stomach in a knot
twisting and turning all inside
gripping organs internally breathless
catching one on the offside
If you can hold your nerve
as this fear paralyses you sore
maybe victory is round the corner
or defeats lies at the door!
i stood there faceless
my hands were tied
condemned and speechless
whistled offside
shocked, betrayed
silent
call it a raid
violent
the blind still leading the blind
thanks, i’ll wait for my own kind
Just like football i am....
like a religion in all things i do
dedicated in love,and family life
with skinbob soon to be my wife
I don`t slide offside or any foul play
i am who i am,and live for today
boasting a clean bill of health that money cant buy
if help is needed then i will certainly try
To give my help care or support
to whatever has been bought
or be a good thing has gone on
i am the first to say "hey well done"
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