Funny Ode Poems

My head has always been made of glass,
and inside it lives a faint idea of who I am.
She used to be a silhouette,
but even then...

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Oh, Nothing! You sly, elusive spud,  
You’re the star of this poem (though technically dud).  
You haunt empty fridges, blank quizzes, and minds,...

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You are the stuff my culinary dreams are made of.
Unending shapes and sizes.
From skinny linguini to the rounded orecchiette 
and squiggly fusilli.
As my tongue tastes...

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In the study, bright and sunny,
I thought I'd try something funny.
Three minutes, that's all I need I cried,
As I set my timer, pen and paper...

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I want romance. I want you and me to dance.
 I want pleasure, and we both want to build a legacy in society. Honestly, I...

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Loyal companion carved from a sturdy oak.
This eternal gratitude will never be revoked.
You've been there for me more then
some human folk.
I think I may be...

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I like the sound these funny shoes
make slapping on the wood,
I’m no league-bowler, that’s for sure,
but most folks say I’m good.
My buds and I meet...

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Oh gaping chasm of misfortune
A sign of council extortion?
Roads not fit for purpose
Driving makes us nervous
Neglect of civil responsibility
The cause of such hostility
Oh pot hole...

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A Shattered Sonata: Exposing the Falsity of Love's Ode

In the realm of deceit, her love poem bloomed,
A tapestry of falsehood, meticulously groomed.
Each word a masquerade,...

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O delicacy born of
some cow's milk and dough
when toasted for breakfast
how I love you so

Whether topped with onions
or sesame seeds
or nothing at all
you fill all...

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My dear incredible pen,
you are the pinnacle of writing instruments! Looking refined with your elegant ebony shaft and gold-filagree trim, you are a true technological...

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To the little machine, that's so hard to clean
And sits alone on the shelf,
I'm thankful to you, for that potion you brew
That turns me into...

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Stole rhymes
          nine times

        For naught
   ...

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Ode to Amber Heard

My dog stepped on a bee,
But it didn't faze me,
'Cause I was high and thought it was funny.
Please, forgive me....

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Oh, how I love you so.
You are my morning pleasure.
My afternoon delight.
I crave you at night.

You sit in silence waiting my arrival.
Scenting the air with...

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