Some days I think I miss you.
Other times I'm mad.
Sometimes I'm glad your gone but at the same time I am sad.
I often stop and remember one of the memories you have shared.
When you told me that your mom never really cared.
You said you dream about her but she never ever talks.
But I would say you're just like her a two face back stabbing mom.
I love you but I hate you it messes with my grief because I'm not sure how I feel now that you're deceased
It seemed like a long almost endless trip,
one that could leisurely
circumnavigate the world,
or rocket through the years,
fuel never depleting.
There was never any plan,
just notions, impromptu journeys
into the unforeseen, and of course
unintended consequences.
Looking through the reverse end
of the telescope of time,
each one act play
now seems ridiculously tragicomic.
Over one hundred arrivals later,
I got there.
Yesterday I bought new sneakers
they are not for going anywhere.
I aim to hang them up
at the foot of my old bed,
their mouths wide open
in amazement.
She talks nonstop about herself
All of our conversations are one-sided
If I try to speak, she has to go
When she has a problem she needs my empathy and sympathy
When I have a problem, she one-ups it; has had ten worse problems
I am not sure why we are friends
Or if we are
Snow fall and Santa
those long winter nights
a season for merry
cold winds they do bite.
I'm not sure I like it
no matter the year
seems the older I get
the lesser the cheer.
No sugar plums dancing
around in my head
the countdown to Christmas
12 days I do dread.
So bring on the sunshine
and a warm summer breeze
for I'm really more merry
at seventy seven degrees!
Scattered though my peices of time
So many tears I cried
Now I am so alone
I cry so much more now
When these places are no longer filmiar
I have adapted to all this change
Yes we seem so much more together
But no longer as one
I can't see my future
All I see is my past
The present is a work in progress
Will I love again
Will I be loved again
So many questions
Not enough answers
So long past this dating scene
Not sure how to grow
Not sure where to begin
Frustrated apps
Frustrated feelings
This world is changing
I am so out of touch
But I have hope
I have a plan
I have the goals
I just hope someone will be there to share
All of what has made me..Me.
Putin your tyranny we know is so strong
For even your people can't ever deny it
Through peace your walls will crumble
Upon peace sword for you will stumble
Peace is what the world know's so strong
Something inside so strong we'll defend
For our democracy it will be our victory
Peace it is never so wrong we'll defend it
Was listening to Labi Siffre something so
strong felt these words through it
I'm not sure these feelings are that you make me feel
I'm not sure why my heart races just for you
I'm not sure if any of this is true
I'm not sure if this love will be forever with you
I'm not sure your tender touch is forever mine
I'm not sure were this relationship will run
I am sure that the magic you make me feel is unbelievable
I am sure I never want this to end
I am sure my heart beats for only you
I am sure my love is 100 percent true
I'm not sure were the road will take us but I hope that you will be with me every step of the way holding hands with each other's hearts
It wasn't long ago that I met you and it was love at first sight
You hold a heart that is damaged and broken
With your love it is slowly repairing
I love you with all that I am I'm sorry if I mess up and run a stray
Just remember you have my heart like no one else has ever in life
I'm not sure were this road will go but I know as long as I'm with you I'll never lose this glow in my heart
i wake up with thoughts of you
that carry me through the day
AP: Honorable Mention 2022
If you were in isis
would you say i am in isis or i is in isis
I was going to swap my brain for another
but then i changed my mind
thought i seen a bus
but that was just unfinished business
U something S has come between
Feel that your skin
-----------------under
If crows
killed in a group
would that be a murderous murder of crows
i've always liked the sheen atop the black oil
are you comfortable sat in
cottoned on yet
polly was taken esterday
vas can swap
i will gently crepe on by
hidden by da mask
U r laying on the other side of this wall
So many feelings left unspoken
Tomorrow u leave again
My body shakes when u r near
Ur eyes make me weak and at ur command
I don't think that I can handle the next time that I see u
This time was hard on my heart
Knowing that u feel nothing for me
When u r near me
U r the only thing that I think about
When u r gone
U r alwayz on my mind
My life has been flipped upside down
Letting u go has not proven to be easy
I don't know if I ever can
Ur smile makes me believe that I matter
You had said that u would be mine
I would be yours with no doubt
The next time might destroy my heart
Addiction
—————
Adheres to you
No release
Dictates to you
Orders you
Destroys you
Inch by inch
Infestation for you
Touching all
Controls you
Completely
Tortures you
Internally
Incites you
Directs you
Offends you
Disgust you
Numbs you
Anaesthetise
Addiction
—————
Have you met her?
Not yet. I reply.
I’m not sure you will like her, she says, haughtily.
As much as I dislike this person, I want to hear more.
Feeling a kindred spirit right around the corner.
Don't know when or how it happened,
Or even why,
But I have reached an age where people see me as wise,
Yet it seems like only yesterday that I was feeling most unwise,
And acting accordingly.
I don't even remember signing up for my masters' degree,
Or indeed any degree to put me on equal footing,
With those I once sought my advice from,
And I can't find any record of when I got my certificate in wisdom.
Here I am though,
And the rumour is spreading,
That I have answers to age old questions.
The only one I feel safe to give advice on is,
That if things are going well for you,
Don't let guilt stop you from enjoying the moment,
Because there are people out there who have prayed,
For you to get to this point,
In your life,
In a way that circumstances,
Did not allow them to.
So let your heart sing with gratefulness,
And you will have given them,
More comfort than you can ever imagine,
And faith enough,
To skip along paths that are often dark and mostly lonely,
With your happiness the only light to guide them.
A light that your guilt will extinguish,
Destroying both you and those who once thought,
They were wise to put you in their prayers.
It could be good, it could be sweet,
But I’m not sure that I’m in love
with you and you are all I need
that you’re my half, that you’re my half.
I am not sure you are the one
You didn’t say I love you so
And if my frail heart comes undone
you'll follow. I would like to know
your lips. They must be sweet and warm,
But eyes of yours don’t give me chance
And we cannot find our Home
We can just dance, we can just dance.
Let’s dance and let it will be sweet
Let we’re not sure that we’re in love
each other, we don’t know we need
to be the half to be the half.
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