Long What in tarnation Poems

Devil's advocate claims Teflon Trump...

The demagogue reincarnate 
feels gifted to reign supreme
captivates, glorifies, lauds, 
renounces, yawps extreme
views bellows dogmatic fulminations
in an attempt to redeem
stolen 2020 capital one bid.

Which hunter (biden his time) 
will reap grim...

Read More

Hiccups 

An involuntary spasm 
of the diaphragm 
and respiratory organs, 
with a sudden closure 
of the glottis 
and a characteristic 
sound like that of a cough.

Rather mundane topic 
lest one cursed 
with said minor inconvenience
that...

Read More

…..BREAKING..... HEADLINE..... NEWS.....
this Xmas eve day 2023

After a top secret clandestine conclave,
one or more sans eight Reindeer forsake
played cow word, and spelt, spilt, spoilt,
et cetera doe fill full heartbreak,
which Santa Claus immediately claimed
to be “FAKE”...

Read More

Apoplectic curmudgeon fumbles...

Jumpstarting outstanding undertaking...
bringing jouncy, spectacularly crafted,
nuanced, zesty, noteworthy, creatively
spirited enlightened written poem.

This raggedy man doth inconsolably weeps
kept rudely awake whilst disobedient sheep
incur wrath of Little Bo Peep, she lambastes
protesting courtesy rambunctiousness being
future mutton...

Read More

After a top secret clandestine conclave,
one or more eight Reindeer forsake
played cow word spoilt,
et cetera doe fill full heartbreak,

which Santa Claus immediately claimed
to be “FAKE” and accused (Jake)
i.e. Jacob Marley concocted game over, 
every doe...

Read More

inalienable, inimitable,
     and inviolable sacrosanct
contentiously debated enshrined Constitution 
     ratified June 21, 1788

     preceding hallmark Bill of Rights 
    ...

Read More

Act 1: Scene 1:  (As the curtain opens, we see the bulky frame of Farmer George. He paces 
the worn floor of his large open kitchen. He has just come in from harvesting his...

Read More

Righteous smart left hand

Short lived amnesia 
(there's no app for that) found
his highness (ha... ha... ha... hm)
drawing a (figurative) blank
today January 54th, 2021,

when the misses asked yours truly
to access Verizon voicemail,
me noggin made a clank,
no...

Read More

I write much hic cup ado
About nothing, which involuntary explosive release 
   comes clear out of the hic cup blue
nary a sponge bob square pants handy dandy bellows clue
where in tarnation this uncontrollable...

Read More

John Moore
1843-1933

I was born with my lungs full of tarnation.
Leastways that was my mother’s version of it.
I do not believe anyone who was ever born, 
Came Into this world kicking,
Leastways not like me;
I tumbled in,...

Read More

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night
In my ramshackle torn straw old bed 
The mice are chewing my toes
And the bedbugs bite  
Elephants dancing in my head
I think to myself
"It's not...

Read More

A double sonnet in which the great detective and his faithful sidekick, Dr. Watson, alternately deduce the cause of Sherlock’s latest malady…

Part the first
Sherlock could not deduce his source of pain
at first. “Try as I...

Read More

I'm afeard of the youngins a followin' us elders
 I'm afeard of this world and I pray
 That you expose them thar varmit polutitions
 Who narry mean nothin they say
 And I am old and...

Read More

Do you make sure to tap all the dirt from your spikes with your bat,
 even if it takes two full-length TV time-outs for you to do so?

Do you cross yourself once, twice, thrice,
 or...

Read More

sam i yam not, 
     nor will this 'lo bot go away
cuz, every coordinate in cyber space allows, 
     enables and provides 
    ...

Read More

[To the tune of Superstar from the musical Jesus Christ, Superstar]

All you drivers, listen up! You need a new plan.
Driving down the highway, you gotta use both hands.
Tweeting on your iPhone in your minivan.
Gotta lose...

Read More

What in tarnation is reincarnation
Could we come back as a piece of toast?
Or do you think that death is just that
The end, it's over, adios?

Some get passionate about the subject
But nobody knows for certain
When we...

Read More

What in tarnation is reincarnation
Could we come back as a piece of toast?
Or do you think that death is just that
The end, it's over, adios?

Some get passionate about the subject
But nobody knows for certain
When we...

Read More

What in tarnation is reincarnation
Could we come back as a piece of toast?
Or do you think that death is just that
The end, it's over, adios?

Some get passionate about the subject
But nobody knows for certain
When we...

Read More

Black Cat hath the coldest green eyes of most hideous evil
Which chilleth my blood, causeth me the greatest upheaval;
Darkness doth pervade this creature’s most gruesome gaze
Giveth me unbridled terror, leaveth my soul in an utter...

Read More

The feel of mud oozing between my toes
Watching an ant going about its business,
Bizarre ideas crossing my mind are those
Causing my brain to spiral into dizziness.

I am captivated by silly, mundane things
That no one else...

Read More

They said “he went on a bender”
What in tarnation is a bender
And what is “tarnation” anyway
Is English still on the agenda? 

“Befuddled” is another strange word
Think it means all “verschimmelt”
What in hell does verschimmelt mean
Not...

Read More

Break bad ‘n -a bid it anna bump it anna level um bum,
Twenny dolla bid ‘n all in an all done?
Well there’s five and twenny gimme twenny five!
Thirty! Be a thirty five anna forty dolla...

Read More

It's December 3rd and 50 degrees
What's wrong with this picture I ask
Usually a land of ice and snow
But here in the sunshine we bask

The world is turning upside down
Where in tarnation are we heading
Will Canada's...

Read More

7/27/17


Going into light and dark places
With a steady pulse or as my heart races

What in tarnation
I see so much greed and starvation

Here to change the world
Whether or not using objects that are straight or curled
I'll...

Read More