BREAKING HEADLINE NEWS this Xmas eve day 2023

…..BREAKING..... HEADLINE..... NEWS..... this Xmas eve day 2023 After a top secret clandestine conclave, one or more sans eight Reindeer forsake played cow word, and spelt, spilt, spoilt, et cetera doe fill full heartbreak, which Santa Claus immediately claimed to be “FAKE” and accused (Jake) i.e. Jacob Marley hook concocted game over, viz every doe done possibly really espy from Charles Dickens renown “A Christmas Carol” comprised of many undercurrents, asper what might appear as placid lake which proclamation, he immediately alluded, directed, reputed Putin to make, which Russian leader fed rumor mill to rattle and quake an entablature, fixture, signature je ne sais quoi linch pin, which quintessential, prominent, off limits agitation didst slake thirst of said tyrannical uber Voldemort, who glowed (like the nose of Rudolph), and cherished folklore idolized love, would be in seventh heaven to take credit, which resignation could pronounce grief and keep children ah wake across the world wide web an a palling gloomy dark shadow (analogous to edge of night) falls heavy across the entire glommed globe, where even the hark cunning angels experience a mark kid lee downcast misery even affecting plants, whereat trees slumped over in every park and nary a solution to tempt motley crue to avoid such stark action, but spat out a litany of grievances unseemly behavior not anew, but ongoing (quite a shock to learn of caribou in upper management) via prurient axe, possibly commingling with questionable emu but, no matter, these voiced fur row shuss transgressions soon flew and spread like wildfire, whence this virtuous claque seemed to be a glue me pack of sordid, revolting, traversing engaging with elves hoo fing Alabaster Evergreen, Pepper Minstix, Shinny Upatree...holy Jew Peter, thee names all these centuries sin hissed stir opprobrious lurid tabloid fodder, nobody suspected, nor knew, now nothing could be done except to arrange an emergency session with head honchos possibly, they exchanged tidbits while utilizing the loo fast forward after a slapdash public relations forum opted to arraign every suspect, even that oft spotted whooping Crane (named Stephen) and, how in tarnation can (or should) an adult explain to their son or daughter, that salacious behavior cannot disappear via Trump peon strategy to gain say contrary facts, now this poet break fast for a repast in the main thenceforth, the December holiday will be sober and plain but taking peremptory measures to block fireplace flue so no errant rein deer gets brazen and seeks rapprochement against immoral attain in vain.