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Sherlock Holmes and the Mysterious Case of Appundicitis

A double sonnet in which the great detective and his faithful sidekick, Dr. Watson, 
alternately deduce the cause of Sherlock’s latest malady…

Part the first
Sherlock could not deduce his source of pain at first. “Try as I might, I cannot find the cause – is it contusion, or a sprain? Perchance a mere psychosis of the mind? “Yet by deduction, I’ve ruled out the plague, consumption, smallpox, cholera, and mumps. My symptoms, although serious, are vague – this lack of answers has me in the dumps! “Where’s Watson? He would have a quick prognosis – I’ve never seen him err in all our years”. Then! Churn of stomach yields its diagnosis just as his friend, the good doctor, appears: “What seems to be the problem, troubled one?” “It’s alimentary, my dear Watson!”
Part the second
But from the learnéd doctor’s point of view, there yet were tests and readings still to take. He’d learnt the ill effects of poor review and on his friend would not make that mistake. “Stick out your tongue! Now, turn your head and cough! Say ‘ah’! Hold this thermometer in place! And while you’re at it, take your trousers off - we’d better check your prostate, just in case!" But Sherlock dashes to the water closet in dire urgency and grave chagrin to make a loud and liquidy deposit. “It’s diarrhea!” Doc yells with a grin. “How did you know?”, shouts Holmes. “How in tarnation?” “Why, Holmes, mere process of elimination!”

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 1/28/2020 12:16:00 PM
Well, that is my perception on how to use a Sonnet straight down the pan, humous write John, loved it . . . : )
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John Watt
Date: 1/28/2020 7:36:00 PM
Thanks, Indiana! I didn't enter this in any contest, so it's a pleasant surprise to see you found it. So glad it brought a smile ~ John
Date: 1/21/2020 9:29:00 PM
Couldn’t help but read this one again, John! Greg and I love watching the BBC series of Sherlock Holmes, starring Jeremy Brett. Love your great humor here..a fave!! :)
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John Watt
Date: 1/21/2020 10:00:00 PM
Thank you very much, Laura! I'm honored to be on your fave list, and glad you find my quirky humor entertaining! Tell Greg I wrote this while on a bike ride last Saturday! I enjoy the Jeremy Brett series too. Hugs ~ John
Date: 1/21/2020 10:24:00 AM
You have NOT crossed an invisible line with these shakespearean sonnets, John. It's great to a witty poem being written in sonnet form. Fabulous. T.J
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John Watt
Date: 1/21/2020 10:08:00 PM
Thank you, TJ, for the read and the vote of confidence. I guess this one was so out of my norm I got a little insecure about it. ~ John
Date: 1/21/2020 10:00:00 AM
This is great, John! You set the scene so well with great context and is so entertaining to read! Love it! :)
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John Watt
Date: 1/21/2020 11:22:00 PM
Thank you, Laura! I always appreciate your visits ~ John
Date: 1/20/2020 1:44:00 AM
(2) ... and I replied "Right here?!?", expecting a roar of laughter, but all I got were angry stares. Much to my (later) chagrin, her parents viewed puns as a sign of ignorance and stupidity, NOT wit, and it took me a year to repair the damage, lol - live and learn!! (Though she DID leave Phillips/Exeter Academy so she could be closer to me - that didn't go over well, either, lol). You are a refreshing addition to this site, John, and I am so pleased to have you around. Excellent write! :o)
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John Watt
Date: 1/21/2020 2:27:00 AM
(2) ... A heartfelt thank you for sharing your story, for paying Sherlock and me a visit, and for the time spent sending me your comments. Hopefully I won't have to spend a year repairing any damage done! I'm pleased to have you around as well ~ John
Date: 1/20/2020 1:34:00 AM
Ha! Love it!! Wonderful wit and punnery, my friend, and I am a pun addict! (The "worse", the better) My true love was a ballerina and concert pianist, (now a doctor), just fifteen when we fell, (I was 19), and the night I met her folks for the first time she had made the meal and prepared a special eve, the perfect setup so I could impress them, of course. Well, I spent the evening making puns of everything, the culmination being when she asked me "Wanna roll?", (as in bread roll) ... (cont'd)
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John Watt
Date: 1/21/2020 2:23:00 AM
(1) ... Ah yes, puns can have unpredictable effects on people. Many consider them the lowest form of humor, some just groan, some do not even consider them humor. But I love words and I love wordplay, and it sounds like we have that in common. Nice to know we're not all alone in the world! (continued...)
Date: 1/19/2020 1:23:00 PM
hahaha. I loved how you ended this . Love the word play in both sonnets. You are brilliant, John.
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John Watt
Date: 1/19/2020 7:13:00 PM
Thanks, Andrea. I'm glad you got to see this little silliness of mine. Warning: never attempt to write poetry with a sour stomach! ~ John
Date: 1/19/2020 6:06:00 AM
Two great sonnets James, both flow so well.. is it not elementary?
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John Watt
Date: 1/19/2020 7:11:00 PM
Forgive dear Silent One, for my foray into pun humor. I suppose in the world of Shakespearean sonnets I may have crossed an invisible line with these. Appreciate the visit, friend ~ John
Date: 1/18/2020 1:01:00 PM
Hello John Watt, this poem was cleverly thought out. Have a nice day my friend.Waton's knew his stuff. Have a nice day my friend.Itis nice to meet you.
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John Watt
Date: 1/19/2020 12:11:00 AM
Thanks Darlene, it's nice to meet you as well! Appreciate your friendly comment ~ John