Long Vegans Poems

I think it is time that I take a stance
on an issue of supreme importance,
I’ve stayed quiet on it for far too long,
to keep living a lie feels so wrong,
I hope this doesn’t sound hokey...

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Written: August 23, 2023
Soup Poetry Contest                        Sponsored by: Robert James Liguori ...

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They told me back when I was young
to conserve water for the Earth,
wash your clothes less, take short showers,
or else the whole planet would hurt.
They said not to use that hairspray,
that would cause an ozone...

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Foreword: My regular radio station recently
held a phone in show on the subject of
Veganism... The following was inspired by
some of the more colourful callers.

Purely for fun, no maliçe intended... Your Honour



Vegans, Damned Vegans

He sneered when...

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Hip hip hurray it’s our Christmas soirée
With Georgia and Mark and Hugh and Ray
This is the only time we meet
To kiss and hug and meet and greet

There’s Sam and Maureen and Fred and Doreen
And not...

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Vegans and Vegaterians 
Half-baked lies and friendly flies , is what most poor people eat. 
Lemon drops and candy and choclate kisses aer too sweet. 
Eye eat MEAT.I like the burgers AND the dogs, 
sandwiches...

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It’s that time of year again...
When family and friends gather together..
To share and give thanks for all that they treasure..
The young and the old, the tall and the small..
The Vegans and the Carnivores, come one...

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Our Kitty’s allergic to peanuts,
Most don’t eat meat anymore,
Lynn and Tim are Vegans
Alex is a staunch carnivore.
Vegan, Veggies and carnies
All coming to visit for lunch
Sue was tearing her hair out
Planning feeding such a  bunch.

Our...

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Brian The Veggie Lion

The trackers all dressed in their safari suits
Trekked over plains in their safari boots
In search of an animal that was called Brian
A statuesque beast in the shape of a lion

Skin prickling chills...

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Oscar Levant, American Author, Comedian, Music Composer and more,
Was born in the early 20th Century and died in the 1970’s 
Each decade, or era has their comedians – below is one of Mr Levant’s quotes,


TWO...

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Where I’m From…..

I am from bar-b-ques and live family feuds.
Walks to down town Paterson laughing at women and men who allow their selves to be called 
hoes and prostitutes.
Fast behind little girls and quick to...

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(with a spark of God)

To govern a myriad selection
Of one mind and legion.
Top tier parasitic collection
From every living region.

It's not subjective good or evil,
Moral or immoral, right or wrong --
But, a wanton cellular mass primeval
Versus...

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Thank God for vegetarians there is more meat for me
just wish those militant vegans would let me be
It's not that I don't like vegetables I'm easy to please
just flavor that pot of green beans with...

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Water Everywhere 
A dam burst in Iraq and that`s how it began it rained for months 
and no one had thought of building a Noah’s ark fill it with pigs
to feast on when Christmas came...

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Pumpkin straight from my garden is my choice,
With the aroma as it bakes in the oven, I rejoice.
Serve with hot buttered toast, its yum at first bite.
You can add a dollop of sour cream, a...

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put a cauliflower on the barb-b
let us roast it while it's still alive
put a burger on the barb-b
it was dead before it was fried
chomp on lettuce, no sound
of begging can you hear
but you just ate...

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The vegans eat their vegetables,
The carnivores their meat.
The gluten-haters stay away
From foods containing wheat.

The carbohydrate shunners
Won’t eat pasta, cake or bread
But can eat a pound of bacon,
Not the healthiest, instead.

Organic fruits and veggies,
Plus organic milk...

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They conquered land before habitations --
Viridiplantae or, simply, plantae.
It was swell: Oxygen fungitations.

Until arthropods assumed their stations
(Or, perhaps, eight-legged crustaceans).  
They conquered land before habitations --

Those rude, plated pests swarmed the green nations:
An ever...

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Every law enforcement official out on patrol,
was desperate to capture The Vegan Cannibal,
so named from a note left with one of its victims,
leading to a series of murders that terrified every vegan.
It read, "I am...

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If it smells good and tastes good, I will be munching
Eating is not about caloric number crunching
My taste bud is the judge and not the dietitian
Water, oil and heat there is no complication

Vegans have turned...

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Vendors ply their trade in open air without an air or grace,
the velvet chocolate slabs so neatly laid,
suitable for vegans but a salve to pointless guilt  the label said,
my texting fingers drip
with honeyed scruple,
Like...

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Maganda Clippin' Snail Number 2
The clippin' snail is hungry. It wants to eat choice red flesh that's mildly paranoid. Pumped full of adrenaline before being butchered. Aggressive men taste the best. At least in the...

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Add some water
Bring to boil slowly
Condiments will come later
Dolloped desire dropped in
Edibles let her entice
Fresh with filled flavor
Grown lovingly at home
Heartily stirred to cooking
I read the recipe and see
Jelled images of repast
Kindly koshered believers
Larders of...

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do not go the orphean way,
he thinks, friends meet as strangers
on road, was the absolute absence able

to find an air hole ? the era of truth
dawns too late; calls the windswept
moon as a witness,

the shuddering...

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Confronted with a crunchy chip
I never can resist
A dive into a favorite dip,
So here’s a little list:

All types of hummus make the grade
And eggplant, mashed and chunky
Or salsa (not-too-spicy made)
Or cheese (not those too funky!).

An...

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