Long Tyke Poems

Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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A Bagpipe am I,
My drones point to the sky!
I am magic they say, since the wizard ‘spelled’ on me that day.

He gave me the gift of immortal time,
I could travel through centuries,
T’was a gift.
It was...

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...This caught her off-guard, so she asked, “What’s wrong?”
He said,“Aren’t you setting yourself up for hurt?
Women with many partners don’t pair-bond well,
there’s quite a low chance your marriage would work.”

She was confused, and said, “What...

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Angels Contest
Sponsor: Nayda Ivette Negron


She had always been special and different....so bright eyed and sentimental. Ever since I was just a little tyke I could feel her essence rush through me in ways no one...

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My aunty Gerty Gribble was a true blue pioneer 
as she and husband Harold ran a place called 'Bendemere'. 
Two dinkum Aussie battlers, who had given their life's blood 
to fifty years of toiling on...

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An essence heard a heartfelt plea
meek, unconfident, not familiar
"Should I bother anymore? Please guide me."
His words hardly mist....
a response slices the scene
     with the speed of a guillotine.

skittering over the asymmetrical
similarities...

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A Hint at What Is Beautiful : 
Lovely is the 'bless your heart' 
Wrapped with appreciation, 
Offered to peace inclined individuals 
Who make a special effort 
To nurture shrapnel singed casualties 
In the midst of...

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Return Of The Tyke

Tyke, tyke, tyke' they’d chant to bait the bairn.
But insult hurled at Yorkshire folk is water off a back.
Take it, use it, grind it through the crank
As fuel for the fire, grist...

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Back in 1933 when
I was only ten
Grandpa Leroy came to live
With me and Ma and Ben

Grandpa had a yearning
Since he was a tyke
To fill his boyhood fantasy
And own a shiny bike

But times were tough in...

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(Written in 1970 when I was a junior in high school)

Kyle’s only three and quite the tyke
And he wants to ride a two wheel bike
But his mom and dad say he’s too small
And they’re afraid...

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America was born in protest violence,
but Lady Liberty now has
postpartum memento — 
A colonial, hypocritical condition called:
Revoltee Protestation Amnesia

Wavy umbilical vanished memories,
of destructive actions   ~   Terrible justification deeds
needed to break the...

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I was in between jobs at the time and running short of cash,
so without a need to now explain my future don’t look flash.
I tramped from door to door to plead my unemployment case
in a...

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Now doors were all closed, without single crack,
The father exposed, with son was to black,
Inside of a lorry.

Surrounded with fruit, they trembled from cold,
For clothes from Beirut, which little warm hold,
Too thin were and hoary.

»Where...

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The sweetest display of affection I've witnessed was that of a Down syndrome child who'd dove into bed with an oversized teddy bear, easily double her size...
And fought her way in 'til the arms of...

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It's safe to assume I had a pretty unorthodox childhood. The blunt of the trauma and confusion being from an innocently named building known as the Stonehouse. Though after the assembly broke up, I believe...

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Don’t Write It On Their Epitaph.

When I was but a little tyke,
A phrase I’d heard grown-ups relate.
“Don’t write it on their epitaph”,
“Don’t spend kind words that late”.

Others passing will seldom notice,
Kind words now spent ‘bout...

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She was a little tyke who had a curly mop top
in charge of her good ship called the Lollipop
her crew was made up of lollipop kids
all from the Land of Oz, not from the Land...

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Connor the baby dragon went to see the queen
He knocked upon the palace door insisting he was seen

The courtiers and the equerries on seeing the little tyke
Told him to be off at once his kind...

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The boy's eyes were like his mother's,
His persona was as cool as his father's,
He was lucky enough to conquer the killing spell,
That daunting night that eventually was his personal hell.

Swathed by Hagrid, the "little tyke"...

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My supervisor ambled by one day 
To tell me he was adding one more to my load:
A juvie no other counselor could reach.
What could I say?

Gerry was a worldly-wise fifteen, 
A self-assured, well-spoken lad
Whose attitude...

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I look life like a child. A child who, from the loving hands of my Father Creator, my greatest fate director, was placed by Him in a wide playground of this earth from nurturing hands...

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Ted liked to ride the rodeo,
it made him feel alive inside,
but he never had that much luck
taking bulls on eight-second rides.
He wanted to reign like his friends,
take home some of the prize money,
so he doubled-down...

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My YouTube Russian car crash wreckophilia 
comes from a bad head on in the family car
near rural Shreveport Louisiana in 1947
when I was a tyke whose favorite berth
was the stowage space behind the back seat
under...

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My mom has tried from the start
              my mom she has a giant heart. 
       ...

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When I was just a little tyke…I imagine around two
My parents told me if I make a wish upon a star…there’s a chance it would come true.

To a child that was magical!  
I didn’t...

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