Long Turnips Poems

A prawn masquerading as a peanut can be quite disturbing. So many times a peel is a garment used to shroud. A tentacle hidden. Here and there. Then to reappear with an often violent burst...

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Groundhog day 2024 or Forty one days since 2023 Winter Solstice

Rather than be a day late
and dollar short, I opted   
to post poem acknowledging
the second of February,
where eponymous groundhog
gets his (most often male)
foretelling...

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'BRRRING BRRRING' said the telephone

“Oh hello” said the wide viewfinder to the telephone. “How are you today?” The telephone fell silent. Very silent. It had no battery with which to call, speak, shout or do...

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'Twas the night before Christmas and all were asleep,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a sheep.
The cattle were snoozing, the pigs were at rest
And the chickens were settled asleep on the nest.

Apart from some...

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What is the difference between a digger, a forklift truck, a spoon, and a toaster? None. Bread slices can be carried by forklifts and bread can be dug by a digger particularly if ground. The...

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Flammer Me Gimbels #42
(a Vogon Pirate poem)

Flammer me gimbels, me trimbels and dromies,
Whenceforth I caminal scrabbit thy foamies.
Jeerbo or Jabox, ex labbit. Ex findle
Will not dethrail thee, ignibious twindle.

Ickwad of thrumpus, I salue wack vornage...

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"Asparagus Full Grown"

Now it had been said again & again...
By those who sailed way away back then when~
Whot ayre aloft shall always come down~
So's may be seen in the streets of some town!

'Twas such to...

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Tea Leaves On The Bosphorus

Seated at a table by the stirring water,
My eyes absorb the shore of Asia.
Minerets and aged worn stone
Stand haphazardly along the banks.
Istanbul is a lady with secrets
She'll lure you with her...

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Trusted (non Trumpeting) Flora And Fauna Emerge Out...
Of Hibernation To Rejoice Arrival Of Spring 2019

Accordingly, other than
meteorologists plenti schooled
ascertaining onset of temperate air
more particularly otter den non humans
unassumingly (ferreted out), who bear
the tidings, when that...

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the footing on the flanks of the Hill of Beans
was worse than he had sussed
that drizzling pale morning
when the Sun was lowest
but beans be damned
and their counters with them
yes I know
a smoky mess
like most of...

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I said I'd bring the Brussel Sprouts.
My friend said that was fine.
But still I saw him questioning
as though I'd crossed the line.

He mentioned we had many things.
A meal for a king.
But then he said "Oh...

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Remember the story 
of Billy Goats Gruff?
The troll under the bridge,
and all of that stuff?
If you liked that old story
it's all good and well,
but it isn't at all 
the troll tale I will tell.

Now, Trolius...

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And we have the prophetic word more fully confirmed, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star...

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Sitting uncomfortably on my kitchen chair, waiting for the doorbell to ring,
I think back to past Halloweens, underlying feelings - this uneasiness thing.
Do these feelings stem from my childhood or knowledge of All Hallows’ eve,
Or...

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Sunlight at an angle dancing through colored leaves
Cool nights to snuggle beneath the sheets; warm days of ease
Last of gardens harvest; goodbye to summer's bees
Joyful time to harvest soon days a breeze
Pumpkins, winter squash, turnips,...

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Sunlight at an angle dancing through colored leaves
Cool nights to snuggle beneath the sheets; warm days of ease
Last of gardens harvest; goodbye to summer's bees
Joyful time fo harvest soon days a breeze
Pumpkins, winter squash, turnips,...

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February second - requires one
with acute hearing to cock, and ear
turnips tickling the nose nostrils
delicate hairs (instagram ideal outlook) subtly,
markedly, lively..., yet gently flair
soon harkening shrieks

of delightful analogous funfair
no stranger to Renaissance Faire
of pitch perfect...

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A granny in a brightly lit flower frock is neither a spinning wheel or a basket of multi coloured wools. Multi coloured wools are very very useful indeed for wool wafts wonderful warmth. And warmth...

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“We have no milk,”
you speak quietly
in a tone reminiscent 
of another’s observation
that wine had run out
at a wedding feast.
Miraculous transformation
of wine or milk
from pitchers of water
seemingly absent from
the church job description
of educator and
director of parish...

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'Tis said that the first Thanksgiving feast was celebrated in sixteen twenty-one.
'Twas the Pilgrims' first bountiful harvest so they decided to have some fun!
(That was the genesis of church potlucks that are popular to this...

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King's forest and the Indian turnip like twain a good story never dyes blue                     ...

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Once in a memory
The boy played by the small stream running near the hospital
where his mother was a patient and time hung heavy this
afternoon in late September.
The boy picked five elongated leaves from a bush...

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Vegetables are so versatile I use them every day
Such lovely shapes and colours, they are so bright and gay
I always use them in my cooking
Or eat then raw when no one is looking

What is there...

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Much homage to our hips
hips that did not give in
Lipton tea, kool-aid, lemonade
was the sin I live in
hips stuffed with gin
fried pork chops, fried okra
proud of the skin I'm in
turnip greens with turnips
hot water cornbread...

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* for maximum effect cue audio at stanza break

"For as they were in those days before the flood... so the presence of the Son of man will be." - Matthew 24:38-40

I see them, though they...

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