Long Self hatred Poems

She was always so insecure, as far back as I can remember she never realized her true worth, she let people use her, and never cared about getting hurt
If everyone else was happy and smiling,...

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He who is contented is rich
He who is determined has strength of will
                      Laotse,...

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Fr. Time is with us today, again, or still, I guess I should say.

No, you just did.  
That would be redundant, 
to say it again, 
like I just did.

Just a reminder of a contractual...

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What might it take for love to conquer anger
fear
hate?

How is holistic compassion already more contagious than a-holistic self-hatred,
we-hatred?

There is more than one way to hear a**holistic here,
but they all have to do with sectarian divides,...

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Treat this poem as the truth
Non-fiction...
Because this is the best way I can try to describe what it feels like to suffer with cocaine addiction
It’s hard to even put this feeling of addiction into words
To...

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My grandparents' grandparents,
all sixteen,
digging roots through cultural meristems,
young adults,
adolescents during Time's 1880's,
post Civil War birth of Sir James Crow monoculture.

What would we name this self-hatred,
this lack of compassion and gratitude for help
for human nature's lavish...

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I don’t remember my first introduction to the idea of same sex couples. I don’t remember the first time I was told it was a “bad” thing.
All I remember is how it felt each time...

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All are walking to the courtyard the bell has tolled it’s time to start, they have all but arranged the wooden stakes they are just waiting to ignite the spark
Everyone stops and stares as I...

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Could we see and hear and feel and think better
more ubiquitously and cooperatively
and inclusively
if DreamTime speaks in naturally eco-logical language
of motion as emotions
co-empathically accessible
to all RNA/DNA informated
integratively regenerative
co-arising ecosystemic Ego-programs?

In our dreams
we all speak the...

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Sitting on a stack of old portraits
Feeling like an ill fated king, destined to be dethroned
Lonely and long since forgotten
At least that’s the narrative my mind conjures up
Whether it breathes truth, as always
A matter of...

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Inspired by Andrew Wyeth Watercolor Painting -- Wind From the Sea, 1947




Standing in the old house
A strange mixture of feelings erupt within me
My roommates Depression, Loneliness, and Hopelessness
Greet me with strangling arms and leering grins
I...

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Inspired by Andrew Wyeth Watercolor Painting -- Wind From the Sea, 1947




Standing in the old house
A strange mixture of feelings erupt within me
My roommates Depression, Loneliness, and Hopelessness
Greet me with strangling arms and leering grins
I...

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What is dogmatically
unchangingly fundamental to Christianity,
and to all win/win positive faith systems,
is certainly not capitalism's ZeroSum economic assumptions
in which winner god takes all
from loser satan.

But, what is fundamental compassion's truth
is profoundly sacred
globally open-systemic theology
of HolySpirit...

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Under the firmament 
Vying  to escape the dome  of purgatory 
A trap which seems permanent 
Filled with negative energy and pain
Stuck on a plain 
That plays tricks on the brain 
Driving souls insane 
Desensitized to...

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I try hard, to make you understand
So we can remain friends- hand in hand
But as time moves on it all fades away
And I'm left, the inadequate fool

Often I find I cannot repress these tears at...

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I forgive you mother and father
For your mistakes
Will I be forgiven for mine? 
They say the sins of the parents
Shall be visited upon the children
So they have visited
And I embraced them 
In times of uncertainty
And...

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Here's a story poem about a girl's tragic descent, imbued with dark imagery:
A Broken Doll's Lament
Tiny fingers, a gap in the wood, a scene etched in fright,
A scream ripped from silence, shattering the night.
Mother, a...

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It's been getting worse
I see the end in the most innocent of items
I dream of death
Death of my family, friends
Ironically never of myself
The hollow inside my chest isn't leaving
self hatred comes easily
unhealthy coping habits are...

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Dear Satan,
You are a formidable foe, I grant you,
For you confuse the Body of Christ, my Body into hating itself, reified and 
fractured into tormented factions on my cross,
For you confuse my Children into doubting...

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Pronoia's Paradise of CoEmpathic Trust
is what happens in
and on
and as a holonic soul of 
Earth
when we expect,
anticipate,
the absence of Business As Usual (BAU) Paranoia.

Paranoia is the mutual suffering in fear
and concomitant chronic anger management
and ambivalent...

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Sitting on the bed, legs crossed, and still, 
She sits and wonders how her life could be so real 
that it's like a fantasy – a fantasy gone bad. 
She stops and smiles at herself...

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A preconception in my mind
Of a nudist beach in the sun
Men of pervy persuasion 
Roam the sands 
Eyes behind dark glasses
Men with their dangly bits 
A display of exhibitionism?
A desire to be seen?
A legalised flasher...

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Slavery
enslavement
force of self-imposed ownership 
overpowering another's ego-ownership,
anthro-morbid,
collective ego-morphic tolerance of identity rape,
fear and anger, together building hate,
from which enslavement derives;
a culturally camouflaged nondual co-arising relationship
of codependent despair,
self-hatred.

Enslaving force perpetuates Ego's full-blown angry reduction
in self-identity,
deduction of...

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Selfishly or        
          helplessly 
As I lay here internally beat
Battered and bruised full of defeat 
My pillow so wet...

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The proverbial victim immortalized forever
Seeing Prince Charming when you gazed into his eyes, but, beyond your 
delusion stood Satan himself fantasizing about how he was to devour your flesh.
Sibyl's true love for Dorian did not...

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