Long Rump Poems

Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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How dare you desecrate the Capitol with urine and feces!
Even filthy pigs refuse to defecate near their own dwelling place.
How dare you flaunt confederate flags, grim reminders of our bloody history, 
Alongside swastikas, hate symbols...

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The excitement mounted as we rummaged around in the attic looking through old steamer trunks for discarded clothes and props to make Halloween costumes. With an old suit and hat of Granddads, I became a...

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FICTIONAL BIO:

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical flow
thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish
streaking naked outside...

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The Tale of the Bumpalump

After the Knight had unraveled...Flagan decided to travel
    and get away on a long holiday.
He thought it quite grand to visit a new land
    and...

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I’m lunching with my bestie Mylie
She’s upset and no longer smiley
I ask her what’s wrong
She said in my thong
My bottom is no match for Kylie!

I giggled and said stop your moans
You're perfect not like Bridget...

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I dread the United States presidential 2024 outcome...

Whereby yours truly presages and doth abhor
nothing short of an imminent civil war
dwarfing insurrection on January 6, 2021
oddly enough even reducing
ordinary decibels to a mute whisper
madding crowd trumpeting...

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Oi be nowt but an auld country hick,
we a liddle bit of gall, an a lotta stick.
Oi baint niver afeared to speak me mind,
nor critizise folks harshly iffen Oi find
zummit I don’t loik.  Tis...

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Freddie and Fern were an old couple, a very old couple if truth be told, but on the matter of age, the truth seldom surfaced. Their kids were grown and gone and had families of...

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This embarrassingly irreverent piece is loosely based on a true story for which I've paid the price for pretty much causing it to happen more than once...PLEASE, no hate mail!   PS: "Bonnie" is...

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Donald Trump must be permanently lambasted...
and ewe know what else...
furloughed & barred from Whitehouse

Ducks of former self proclaimed Grand Poobah
getting lined up and goosed as these words typed
after trumpeting January 6th, 2021
as violent insurrection
Mitch Mcconnell...

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SPEECHLESS SPOKEN WORD ARTISTE

So if my vocal folds can’t collaborate to produce sounds to communicate loudly to your beautiful mind that I have an endless mission of loving you, can’t there be any mere articulation...

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FROM WHITE HOUSE

I ham aghast at increasing banality, deviltry, ferocity,

   imbecility, liability, obscenity, rapacity, ugly

   offal popularity witnessed by Donald trump

hence aye aerate thoughts, 

   how ass a nine...

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FURLOUGHED & BARRED FROM WHITEHOUSE

Ducks of former self proclaimed poobah
getting lined up as these words typed.

Poor sign,... I ham aghast, where 
pigheaded previous president concerned
at increasing mind numbing popularity
and looming ominous shadow 
witnessed by Donald...

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skinny island rump
  highway seas churning the horizon under turbulent skies
  entity England
  migration waves still grounding along the continental shelf
  monarchs, priests and lords
  relaunching history and hope, the...

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Cry me a river  cry me a river

The change has arrived

Where are all the heroes

Heroes like jolting Joe D

Hit the ball to outer space

Running from first to Homeplate

Kids cheering kids jumping

Popcorn all over the...

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Looking through the three-eighth gauge, at zebra's, stars and plumhead.
Listening to the expert in the trade and take in what he said.
I went home and scanned through pages of books and magazine,
perusing photographs of aviary...

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Dot Blogs she was a buxom lass and hefty heifer too
who married Bobby Eugene Blows when she was twenty- two.
They lived upon a dairy farm alongside Boggy Creek
and milked  a hundred fresian cows …...

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Unquotable quotes: Olympic Antics – XXXIII

Why do Judo-kas bother to wear anything at all since all they do is to try their very best to undress one another before hugging themselves on the mat?
Wrestlers at...

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Back in 1957 
kissing Carol Ann 
behind the barn 
in the middle of 
a windswept field 
of Goldenrod 
with a sudden deer 
watching was 
something special, 
let me tell you. 
Back then, bobby sox 
and...

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across the Doggerland dogged people trudge
  Neanderthals, Heidelbergers...Sapiens, the last ones standing
  hairy mammoths, heavy life bearing down
  the mighty maw of an ice wall crunches, enforcing southward retreat
  remoulding the...

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Trump Poems and Epigrams VI


Trump’s Retribution Resolution
by Michael R. Burch

My New Year’s resolution?
I require your money and votes,
for you are my retribution.

May I offer you dark-skinned scapegoats
and bigger and deeper moats
as part of my sweet...

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The excitement starts
The second I wake up
I have the biggest smile ever
Today I am jumping
Today I will fly

My stomach has butterflies
A tea and I’m ready to go
To the skydiving hanger
To my chariot with wings

The tiny...

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DONALD TRUMP – RE: DUCKS -- 

this portion dashed off (while dry ving an open white hearse slay 

so many months back before sale him slotted the most coveted 

Casino biggest win - before the...

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I ham aghast at increasing unpopularity
witnessed by Donald trump
hence aye aerate thoughts,
how ass nine his banal, demoniacal, fanatical, and hurtful
culling frightening insight,
where portentous Portuguese Man 'o War debacle
doth crowdsource, flickr, and indeed long foster 
plenti...

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