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I’m lunching with my bestie Mylie
She’s upset and no longer smiley
I ask her what’s wrong
She said in my thong
My bottom is no match for Kylie!
I giggled and said stop your moans
You're perfect not like Bridget Jones
There will be no snickers
At your thong or knickers
We cannot all be Kylie clones!
WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON
Wearing a thong makes one feel like a star
Its amazing what scene stealers thongs are
But don't be surprised
If your butt's too wide
You get to feeling the pain of the farce.
WRITTEN BY BELLE BELLEVUE
MY butt is as big as a room.
Our Mylie was lost in her gloom.
My legs are like trees,
Boobs down to my knees...
I wish I ain't flashed 'em on Zoom!
WRITTEN BY JACK HORNE
Be comfortable in your own skin
We all cannot be extremely thin
Show your curvy derriere
And do it without care
Because it is gonna make heads spin!
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
After lunch the girls all went shopping
'cept Mylie who preferred bar-hopping
A guy bought her a drink
When she gave him a wink
Then phone numbers they started swapping
Mylie left with the guy at the bar
Said he promised to make her a star
My bestie disappeared
It was just as I feared
The whole night was 'toadly' bizarre
Mylie is getting lots of attention
From some who suffer **** retention
Let the poor woman be
Can't any of you see
No thong's a means of sore butt prevention
WRITTEN BY LIN LANE
Then the waiter brought out the desert
She wolfed it down so quick that it hurt
I feel huge she said
My legs feel like lead
And I've got rolls of fat in my skirt.
She stood up but found she couldn't move
Her damn thong was now wedged in her groove
She could hear all the titters
When adjusting her knickers
But her butt pain started to improve.
WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM
Mylie became health conscious when
Her breath became labored again
She's eating whole grains and fruit
Now fits in her best suit
But the thong to moon she did send
WRITTEN BY SARA KENDRICK
Just two weeks later, Mylie returned
All her thongs were missing. They'd been burned
Mylie now wears a brief
I said, "Oh My! Good grief!"
But my bestie didn't seem concerned
WRITTEN BY MARK KOPLIN
Mylie grew up a nice catholic girl with rules,
but, one day she said you priests are just fools;
I want to shake my fat butt,
in a thong I want to strut.
She wears it even at the local pools !
WRITTEN BY CONSTANCE LA FRANCE
Larsa is a hit with her only fans
With pics of her large butt that truly spans
She likes to pose nude
Posts pics that are rude
Making money the only way she can
The Miami housewives didn't like her butt
And the way she loved to shake it and strut
Rumors she just couldn't shake,
it was plastic and fake
She still loved to be the star in the smut
WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN
While working at home I threw my smut out
Yet my neighbor walked by with her butt out
I wanted to be fresh
But then saw that my flesh
Distinctly displayed just my gut out
WRITTEN BY DAVID FISHER
We hide until we know it’s clear.
All out, with great joy and no fear -
In morn, at the jump,
The toot of a rump.
Young boy bares a butt, shakes a rear.
WRITTEN BY KIM RODRIGUES
I fancied a look in the mirror
My horror could not have been clearer
Where once was my butt
Sits, I don’t know what
I dare not now stand any nearer
There’’re so many new lines and creases
Dismay at this sight never ceases
Yet, it’s what I see
This butt is on me
At least there are still just two pieces!
WRITTEN BY MIKE GENTILE
A woman, while taking her mutt out,
Wore old jeans, which left much of her gut out.
When she lit up a smoke
Someone passing by spoke
Asking her could she please put her butt out.
The woman, not quite understanding,
Thought, why not do what he was demanding?
So she pulled down her pants
Giving all a good glance,
For her backside was rather commanding.
When she realized that she was provoking
Guffaws unrelated to joking,
She felt kicked in the gut
For she got that the butt
That he meant was the one she was smoking!
WRITTEN BY ILENE BAUER
But Mylie was known as a diva
Of two cheeks she thought she’d hide neither
She did feel quite bad
When asked by a lad
Who slashed your beach ball with a cleaver?
She Stood and she thought for a while
To save face she needed some guile
She blushed pretty red
But finally said
Oh, that’s my Kardashian smile
The boy said you do have her lips
And maybe you do have her hips
But I don’t tell lies
Your butt is a size
That’s more like a total eclipse
She grimaced and snarled, Oh how sweet
But now you should beat a retreat
She said I eat beans
You know what that means
And soon he was blown off his feet
WRITTEN BY TERRY FLOOD
05/05/23
LETS HAVE SOME FUN AND MAKE THIS A LIMERICK COLLABORATION - PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME YOUR POEMS AND I WILL ADD THEM ON
Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2023
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