Long Ribbing Poems

"You see this here spot on the bench, where it's all worn away?" Clarence asked.
     "Yeah, I've noticed that a few times, and wondered why they didn't paint it again." I...

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“I apologize for any offense I have given to your wife,” DynDoeth.
DynDoeth just smiled.  Joulupukki, after listening quietly since the meal began, spoke up.
     “Seileach, Ceridfen has a wicked sense...

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Isn't this what the Bible predicted? A false God and chaos

and plagues and bad weather and detriment caused to our 

climate by global warming and pollution. We aren't supposed 

to be messing around with mother...

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I dread the United States presidential 2024 outcome...

Whereby yours truly presages and doth abhor
nothing short of an imminent civil war
dwarfing insurrection on January 6, 2021
oddly enough even reducing
ordinary decibels to a mute whisper
madding crowd trumpeting...

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A former friend of mine
tricked me into becoming
something I am not

The volunteer President
of our condo association,
a position I clearly cannot afford
midst trifling disassociations.

We were starting our Autumn tradition
of arguing about next year's budget
which typically continues
until...

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Hiccups 

An involuntary spasm 
of the diaphragm 
and respiratory organs, 
with a sudden closure 
of the glottis 
and a characteristic 
sound like that of a cough.

Rather mundane topic 
lest one cursed 
with said minor inconvenience
that...

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Donald Trump must be permanently lambasted...
and ewe know what else...
furloughed & barred from Whitehouse

Ducks of former self proclaimed Grand Poobah
getting lined up and goosed as these words typed
after trumpeting January 6th, 2021
as violent insurrection
Mitch Mcconnell...

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Seal fin de siècle with unheard celebration

though two thousand nine hundred
will be here in seventy five years,
a mere blink of the eye
never to early
to think about fêted occasion
which marks the beginning
of the 22nd century.

if not...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where I’m sore and hurty.

The moral of my story?
To avoid a...

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I’ve mucked around when drinking beer like many other blokes,
who love to be involved when playing silly nonsense jokes.
It’s great to see a ‘bunny’ puzzled and completely unaware
that pranksters are around him, but he doesn’t...

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Walter Branham, a retired teacher, and his wife Victoria went to Applebee’s, the chain restaurant, for lunch one day last week. First time they had gone there. Usually they go to an ethnic restaurant but...

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Ronald Rump reasonably roasted 

Remarkable – recourse retaining rickety 
rambling reverence regarding “r.”

Ronald Rump
repugnant racist republican reviled - 
rickettsia re:itch ruler.

Rapaciously ravaged 
revered reverential rubric.

Radical ruthless renegade 
rapidly riotously ripped rigged ramparts.

Refrained retaining remnant 
redolent...

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To be a polylepis tree you gotta know 
You're a polylepis tree & this knowing 
Cements by being a polylepis tree,
Knowing between diagrammatic cracks
Fork'd already info knowing during descent.
Mud run through alpine meadow. Rubberized 
Crunch...

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...For two weeks Lester worked that pyrite vein,
and every day a brand new dollar came,
at the end he hug dug out two cart’s worth,
said Higgs, “Now that’s enough work in the earth.”

He smiled proud, they...

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BACK STORY
Me and my dad used to work as a team on the Trolley Buses for Manchester Corporation, out of the Hyde Road Depot. Dad drove, and I was his offsider, collecting fares, and keeping...

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repugnant racist republican reviled - rickettsia re:itch ruler. 
rapaciously ravaged revered reverential rubric. 
radical ruthless renegade rapidly riotously rips rigged ramparts. 
refrains retaining remnant redolent regal, resplendent rafters.
riches rudely rupture rooted rectified rights.
ruckus ricochets revenant...

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Roguish reincarnated ribbing raconteur...

Ruminating, while rustling, and roping
regular riff raff galore
with deliberate intent tomb ache
mummy dearest laugh
till she falls down Mariana Trench
deep down on zee sea floor,

where tears trickle thence pour
down her cheeks
causing flash floods...

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Her mocking salutation in salute.
Sudsing down your brains drawingboard in a victoriously ill repute.
Nature's pendulum holds you in it's dungeoness pattern of holding, then you go down it's chute. 
Hell's guillotine greased, oiled,
sparkling it's grinning...

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Got Any Ideas For A Poem?

Ha! That catch phrase
     (kid ding lee writ)
     hoop fully goat yar attention
truth be told, (no...no...
     no...not by...

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There‘ll be black humour today,
Gentle ribbing, banter and jokes, 
Stripping away of egos, repartee
Among our mixed group of folks.
Bruising conversations maybe,
But in a non malicious way.
No place for the thin skinned
That’s just not how we...

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(Just for fun, folks - and a nod to Old English)

Wat?!?

No jovial banter? No easy give-and-take of rivalry? Naught there be a good-natur'd ribbing between courteous competitors? Nay a rusty-edg'd petulance on propriety's behalf? No...

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ARE YOU RIBBING ME

GIVE us back our rightful place
Matriarchal society - was not broken- when you fixed it -
you need to stop playing games with yourself.
When western heathenism became patriarchal--
the feminine energy was still ruling--
We...

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Wat?!?

No jovial banter? No easy give-and-take of rivalry? Naught there be a good-natur'd ribbing between courteous competitors? Nay a rusty-edg'd petulance on propriety's behalf? No acrimonious innuendo f'r the sake of the game? Nay there...

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The nurse ordered her to push, push, push
in her best proper voice 
and linen balled in red fists knotted
and sweat falls from red face knotted 
while Billy, head first, tugged and yanked by nurse's proper...

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The nurse ordered her to push, push, push
in her best proper voice 
and linen balled in red fists knotted
and sweat falls from red face knotted 
while Billy, head first, tugged and yanked by nurse's proper...

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