Long Rectal Poems

I feel in führer rated and envious...

entrapped within webbed wide world
weft as a rump pulled stilts skein
at warp speed exhibiting
my heroic trumpian wiles
cuz he (johnny come lately) a then 
exemplary hedonist, narcissist, 
and polygamist dons
comical,...

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Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to overflow onto the floor,
and hence found yours truly (me)
immersing himself...

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Temporal incarnation of Aphrodite...

induces idyllic reverie
delight evoking similar surge,
when skirting, and eluding 
fidelity defining the marital law
on par with courting in flagrante delicto.

After reading about 
Greek goddess of love
fancy notion woke whereof
warmth suffused me
snug as...

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I dread the United States presidential 2024 outcome...

Whereby yours truly presages and doth abhor
nothing short of an imminent civil war
dwarfing insurrection on January 6, 2021
oddly enough even reducing
ordinary decibels to a mute whisper
madding crowd trumpeting...

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Approximately three plus days elapsed...
without yours truly experiencing urge to defecate

Neither bloating nor constipation
arose, but one nondescript anguished
logophile anticipated intestinal blockage,
hence prophesying worse case scenario

I (predicated in direction for an adult)
ingested three Dulcolax tablets
and subsequently...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... turgid song redux,
a worse hellish fate than perdition really sucks

As of early morning
today - September 8th, 2022,
I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found...

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100% Natural psyllium husk delivered solid ecstasy

As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid...

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Fraught With IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

today – late morning of November 4th 2022
sudden onset experienced whereby
whooshing waste naturally flushed out
ala mine body electric performed colonoscopy
diarrheal gangbuster instigated
maybe Machiavellian microbe
with powerful rectal surge
analogous to invisible plunger
forcing...

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Date  June 2024
A large group  picketed outside 
Of the toilet paper factory. 
People held picket
Signs marching in a circular line.
The Group chanted: 
Revolters deserve better bottom
Paper on this caper!  The group
Became bigger...

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Stimulus check(up), visited mine local gastro-intestinal economy

Around high noon
today March 19th, 2021
fecal impaction I did plaintively croon
until effect courtesy amitiza, which
prescription medication
(in short a laxative)
served as amazing grace saving boon.

Once activated - impossible mission
to suppress...

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Ability to defecate wildly swings (both ways)...
between incontinence and constipation

Irritable bowel syndrome i.e.
the former excretory bout I address
the above (polite way to phrase diarrhea)
and avoid moon efficient cheekiness,
yours truly doth buttress,
a literal warranted pain in...

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Ready...Aim...Fire!

In light of tension twixt
brinkmanship rumbling one
East Asian Tiger
country otherwise known as
"the land of morning calm,"
yours truly t'will invite 
"freedom foo fighters"
tubby regaling with a jubilant aire
total mortal Kombat 
levels threat of human warhead
bomb dubbed...

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yes, this daft punk pink animal from farm ville will newt axe
any thank u mooch positive word does not rick choir whet backs
now i hold out virtual fig leaf tub buffer 
   end...

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Alpha Bet Cap Cha

Just twenty six letters of the english language to whit
twisted in various & sundry combinations pit
this bull dog of a canonical wordsmith with true grit
to craft bone a fide filigreed grammatical parts...

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I Write Wits Psalm Burning Desire...

Why?
To escape livingsocial,
     and negate mine birth
figuratively, knowingly,
     and precariously,
     I nightmarishly perch
teeter tottering atop - dearth
of financial...

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Ronald Rump reasonably roasted 

Remarkable – recourse retaining rickety 
rambling reverence regarding “r.”

Ronald Rump
repugnant racist republican reviled - 
rickettsia re:itch ruler.

Rapaciously ravaged 
revered reverential rubric.

Radical ruthless renegade 
rapidly riotously ripped rigged ramparts.

Refrained retaining remnant 
redolent...

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repugnant racist republican reviled - rickettsia re:itch ruler. 
rapaciously ravaged revered reverential rubric. 
radical ruthless renegade rapidly riotously rips rigged ramparts. 
refrains retaining remnant redolent regal, resplendent rafters.
riches rudely rupture rooted rectified rights.
ruckus ricochets revenant...

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I seethe with livid rage within the bowels of my being
when sitting upon the porcelain goddess ample defecation doth cling
immediately triggering an internal self hatred 
   charge of body electric to signal an...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... redux
a worse hellish fate than perdition

At least forty eight hour time span
lapsed whereby big boy wanted to cry
explaining how yours truly 
felt he would die
an undertaking malaise
found me experiencing physical...

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While out and about
an unexpected over bare ring bout
to defecate arose,
     where sphincter asserted clout
and would excrete
     despite without doubt...

if closing distance
     (to...

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Xxvi+ marriage  anniversary (mine)
recalls first disastrous
date with future missus
approximately waltzing 
matt tilde two dozen
plus years ago

Tex Mex Connection
201 E Walnut Street
North Wales, Pennsylvania, 19454
every entree included beans
maybe refried or otherwise

effectively laid siege
mine delicate constitution
quickly...

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Oh, damn,  I get it, nowhowbrownsowcow-----that it's to be accepted on this site you need to be
the FATTED cow. Low of intellect, yet high on countenance, high on payment 
and low on quality! Please...

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literary food for thought.

Self Mutilation:

(ah bet thar iz an app for that!)
within unlit partial "FAKE abattoir" 
   sans wardrobe alcove 
   where dust bunnies didst allures
completing a simple task among 
...

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A plethora of attention
focused on twentieth anniversary
regarding terrorist attacks
upon American soil nine eleven
two thousand and one,
thus Schwenksville poet
opted for his best métier write.

While riding atop a yak
both feet went wickety wack
trudging beast of burden a...

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slam it to me punk you think you’re so cool
this bald headed old fart will take you to school
you think you’re the first generation to revolt
if you read a history book you’d know that’s a...

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