Long Pinkies Poems

Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I...

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Light Verse

Marvell-Less
by Michael R. Burch 

Mr. Marvell was ill-named? Inform us!
Alas, his crude writings deform us:
for when trying to bed
chaste virgins, he led
off with his iron balls ginormous!


I Learned Too Late
by Michael R. Burch 

“Show,...

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That's where her house used to stand
smack dab in the middle of a dead end road
The prettiest talker you'd ever want to hear
Known for her elegant tea parties in her grand abode

Red roses adorned the...

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A mystery to some, but not to me,
why one would call thee, "Lady"
Other beetles could be called fair,
some would even argue scholarly

But gentlemanly?

Now that's a stretch
if I ever heard one
Have you ever seen a bloke...

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Through the hills within the woods of a mountain's slithering slopes,
A road winds its way, on which rides a car driven by a misanthrope. 

Plucking from his pocket a pack of poison sticks with one...

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I adopt dainty etiquette
when quenching thirst or dining
to buzzfeed growling beast
inside me tummy.

The missus requests obedience
raising both my little fingers in the air
upon taking beverage or repast to lips.

Additionally, she also requires I
(well healed husband...

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You won't open up 
You never did 
The chances of you reaching out to me on this shifting tectonic plate 
The same as jumping out an airplane window 
But you never opened up and now...

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The first, a blessing of birth, from a mother of faith.
Flat fat feet which, in the shower,  sound like suction cups.  
A small short stature which kept me out of tight spots. ...

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Look at me with my headphones on
trying to drown out the sounds that 
affect my zone.
Turn them down and I have found 
what upsets my dome,
A bunch of bombs, bullies, and 
bullets that infect my...

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The grandfather clock just struck twelve, that magic hour of night,
And there he sits drumming our fingers musing about something to write!
He's been biting our nails and running our fingers through his hair,
Scratching his head,...

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Upper class clowns and socialists
always whining from their crystal palaces. 
Fine dining ...greasy lipped pimps
Lecturing the working man, on global warming,
who just topped off their private ride
with ozone poking jet fuel piss-

Upper class clowns and...

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(This moment ...of today’s new found moon)

I am cradling the moment  
as I would cradle you ….if only you would let me
I have cupped it in my palm….in a small boat of white
…blue sails...

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THE LIFE OF A MOUSE

Pitter patter, scurry scamper,
Running through the house,
Squeek and screech, a frantic dash,
A tiny little mouse.

Searching for a mosel here,
A little nibble there,
Then hurry back into the nest,
To nestle there with care,

For...

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Our lamb has finally flashed his mane.
Crashing through the Bush
into the Armageddon plane.
Tail twitching slashing fangs.

He's going to liberate a people shrouded in our blood.
Clean up those weapons of mass destruction.
Make an oasis out of...

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Pitter patter, scurry scamper,
Running through the house.
squeek and screech , a frantic dash,
A tiny little mouse.

Searching for a morsel here,
A little nibble there,
Then hurry back into the nest,
To nestle there with care;

For seven little pinkies,
All...

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That pop you hear 
is just another can of pin worms being opened
by the disgruntled the entitled the privileged
complaining about what they think they lack
while ignoring the many things they do or could have.
They cluster...

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"Hand in Hand"
My eyelids cracked open to the fresh relief  
of a spring breeze much as shades would be
opened the first time after a harsh winter. 
Then our eyes met windows to windows 
our...

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We promised each other an eternity, whether we wilt or decay in the midst of what time becomes to be. We hold each other's pinkies under the moonlit sky breaking apart into radiant shards of...

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Come sit with me lovey
I’m excited to see
The clouds dancing high
In the deep blue sea

We’ll make dandelion rings
And weave clover blossom
Make  bracelets of violets
Now don’t we look awesome

We’ll take our tea party under the...

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"Hey buddies. so what are we doing !"

Looks around and the clique has snotty faces on,
pedigree pinkies in the air. "You are not one of we, 
the beautiful approved ones. You are uncultured and that's...

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Lies glamour gossip and Earl Grey tea 
turbulent tales boiling in China cups 
elegant sacraments of blue-haired ladies 
pinkies stuck up in the air, hiding their 
anger or boredom or feeling their own 
despair.

Crimson glass...

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My love for language is the best
Yet my love for her goes far mile than that.
She lightens my heart with her smile
Even when in the nighttime, I see through her heart.

She is that- subsisting
Who makes...

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Lies, glamour, gossip and Earl Grey tea,
turbulent tales boiling in china cups,
elegant sacraments of blue-haired ladies
pinkies stuck up in the air,
hiding their pain or boredom
or unleashing their
hidden affairs.

Crimson glass roses, feathers and jewels
crowned with wide-brim...

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