Long Penn Poems

Goodbye six pack hello* poetry scribes

My poetic side COSMOFUNNEL
wordsmith thanks tumblr in his noggin
ofttimes triggering babbling brook 
to swell after deluge
becoming stream of consciousness runnel
carving, gouging, and liquidating topography 
qua zee mow toe natural formed...

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Excerpt from “fake” encomium given years ago... 
at Lake Wobegone High School (my alma mater), 

and recently discovered ridiculous rough draft
amidst plethora of junk emails
while practice reading some lines 
regarding Midsummer Night's Dream 
upcoming performance.

Arch...

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By George (burning hard), I Shaw tried to playwright

offers his unsolicited tidbits 
as scene courtesy 
the following virtually 
staged philosophical insight.

Arch back like 
a professional ballet dancer 
to stand out from other pedestrian applicants 
seeking...

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Interview with The Most Beautiful Suicide -Evelyn Francis McHale - May 1, 1947

So Evelyn, yours is one of the most famous of suicides, since you chose to jump from the Empire State Building in 1947,...

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August 13th, 2021 – twenty two years since...

Wicked bad designed day poem originally crafted
then alternately titled for no particular rhyme nor reason: 
courtesy Doctor Donald Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia. 

August thirteenth nineteen hundred and...

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The figurative nail hit on the hirsute covered head!

Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy 
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer 
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the...

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Stimulus check(up), visited mine local gastro-intestinal economy

Around high noon
today March 19th, 2021
fecal impaction I did plaintively croon
until effect courtesy amitiza, which
prescription medication
(in short a laxative)
served as amazing grace saving boon.

Once activated - impossible mission
to suppress...

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(alternately titled: courtesy Doctor Donald Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia 

August thirteenth nineteen hundred and ninety nine
forever etched in annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant...

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Author's note: This is not intentionally a historical piece, dear readers, but I thought I should probably add a bit of background info primarily for the benefit of my more international friends and colleagues on...

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“the last of the funerals”

today “the last of the funerals”
takes place &
the killings in CT get placed on the
shelf,
alongside the deaths at Columbine,
Virginia Tech...

those were the “big ones” right?

well, now, Aurora was a “big one,”...

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As a resident of Schwenksville Boro for five plus years...

Intersection upon adventitious
encounter, when first seed of genocide planted
unsuspecting subsequent rapid usurpation
quickly eradicated rightful breed
of what coalesced into thee Americas. 

I experience stir of echoes haunting
Perkiomen...

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O If you return to Jesus Christ and abide in Him, He will also abide in you.
O If you return to Jesus Christ and seek His face,  He will also seek you.
O For if...

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Rosh Hashshana 2023

Began at sunset 
on Friday, Sept. 15, 
and ends at sunset 
on Sunday, Sept. 17.

No matter yours truly an atheist, 
I consider myself 
fascinated with my Semitic ancestry
(maybe unwittingly genealogically 
linkedin with unsuspecting...

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Upon bitterly cold dawning hours of one January 2000 day
the Harns family desperately sought a place to live – “hay
there” Nelson Swartley (an independent realtor) 
politely responded bringing unwelcome news viz our sos re lay
informing...

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Heretofore stuffing said scandalous fête
worst day of year turkeys do hate
though vegan lifestyle
sweeping culinary tables of late
though me and the missus
still omnivorous foods sate

palates sprinkled (of course
while mouths full with borscht,
and eyes wide shut)
with garbled...

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Circa: 23rd of Tevet, 5760
     to 15th of Tevet, 5770
     in accordance
     with Hebrew date
(converted, asper Gregorian
     Calendar) courtesy...

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How come they call it Labor Day when nobody works?
And why Pool-Table?  Where's the diving board?  the water?
How can you play "Draw-Poker" without paper and pencil?
Do Negroes really have bigger knees?
And Flashlight: A...

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"15 and 16"


she was taken
from a distance
removed, she watched 
her mother die
15

the sky bleeds
blue now

echoes in the 
cloudy eyes of 
a helpless mother 
watching her daughter
and innocence die

the warm jets 
from bilious 
billionaires
well fed 
by...

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If President Trump knew me 
What would I be? 
A prince, pauper or just someone with a degree 
He the President may know me from a time when I was a little chukker 
During the...

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History contends that on that score
hing hot summer at 6:00 pm June sixteenth 
in the year 666 after the Devonian era, 
two lovers - a Mister Belmont Me 

and Missy Bryn Mawr Hu felt the...

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Let’s sail away to Acapella,
A celebrity haunt owned by Penn and Teller.
I shall act as your prince, you’ll be Cinderella
When we’re sat on a beach in Acapella.

It’s not as sexy as Cannes or as dowdy...

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A pair of monolid eyes, and I’m academically enlightened.
As if I’m some talented prodigy on his way to an Ivy League.
Able to quickly solve problems without ever breaking a sweat.
Absolutely - perfect - in every...

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Ethel Hurst

1889 – 1918

I saw the town rise up
Like a single blade of grass after a spring rain.
I played a multitude of hop-scotch games
With my best friend Hannah on Penn Street.
And sipped a hundred ice...

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Ever since I experienced being significantly monetarily sidelined...
(how about that topic for a change of pace?)

Yes back to getting walloped, decked
and clubbed courtesy cold hearted brute,
who casually, glad handedly, and royally
flushed out mine tailored pricey...

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No matter yours truly an atheist, 
I consider myself fascinated with my ancestry
x cited regarding: upcoming
Jewish holiday fast approaching 
by the bewitching hour which doth hold key
to Chamber Of Secrets to – me
analogous being Sorcerer's...

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