Excerpt From Fake Encomium Given Years Ago

Excerpt from “fake” encomium given years ago... at Lake Wobegone High School (my alma mater), and recently discovered ridiculous rough draft amidst plethora of junk emails while practice reading some lines regarding Midsummer Night's Dream upcoming performance. Arch back like a professional ballet dancer to stand out from other pedestrian applicants seeking to fill my well-worn shoes. Illuminate your soul via modest communication sans sole full insight acquired thru being apprenticed with this storied prestigious law firm of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale, and Marathon Nike. Keep your nose to the academic grindstone despite the temptation to appropriate the international family business and graduate with supreme accolades from this famous father. He forsook frivolity per his peers in exchange for a stock reputation of gentility honesty, and integrity despite his humble roots as the only male heir of a Middle Eastern European Jewish mother and father. They scrimped, saved and sacrificed scarce resources to set the stage for this scion of well-deserved fame and fortune. Never forget those grandparents whose adherence to work their fingers to the bone (literally) allowed, enabled and provided this founding partner per the trio of stalwart attorneys for the underdogs of the World Wide Web. Match deeds with credo of obedience to the law of the land, as epitomized by Abraham Lincoln. Such obeisance to a democratic dogma will be firm stepping-stones to engender, jump/kickstart, and kindle tinder an Amazon zone of cathartic karma from paternal persona. Such acquiescence toward morals of the conscience (and remembrance of previous generations blood, sweat and tears) will serve as intrinsic manna for clients to clamor like an unstoppable rolling stone to seek counsel from one whose genuine heart felt equalitarian demeanor a near perfect recipe for satisfaction for helping others smooth out jagged abutments arising in their lives. Rather than lecture and command with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror (as casually espoused in “The Prince” by Machiavelli), this democratic, humanistic, liberal minded torchbearer of justice advises active listening (as advocated by the late Jean Dole, my renown mentor from Lima, Pennsylvania), inculcating intuitive posturing toward delivering random acts of kindness. This includes offer services pro bono (with Cher full smile) if an individual, family, municipality, et cetera appears copacetic yet struggles against insurmountable odds from even chew will fickle finger of fate. Exemplify by example of zeal for the underdog (immersed in some catastrophic series of unfortunate events) that money need not be demanded before the welfare of the downtrodden (sic – such as the Harris Family from Penn Valley – who live among the wealthiest people, yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats) from the mere exuberance of witnessing an ear to ear smile of gratitude. Rather than be biased, inclined to be prejudiced based on cursory observations of one or many barely clinging to the life raft of survival, I (as a humble human) encourage a relationship of trust before casting an indiscriminate eye toward those less fortunate to live in the lap of luxury. Luck (or the lack thereof) an invisible yet potent additive to this mix for those flush with disposable income or exiled to a hand to mouth hardscrabble existential dilemma. Daily acknowledgement for ethnic, genetic and quixotic dice throw of chance in tandem with loving support of immediate kith and kin instrumental in keeping in check bombastically egotistical, haughtily radical degradation of fixation of values steeped in appreciation of aesthetics, beauty, charm, decency, equality from gifts hoed inside. Joyfulness keeps love moving needling offset predilections. Quality rests squarely upon the pillars of staying within the bounds of service to those less able bodied or beset with untold obstacles that discourage setting virtue (or the closest approximation of what that means to the inquiring mind) as precedent to blaze (while in the saddle) a trail of care and concern. Always maintain benevolent devotion forswearing evilness, greediness, lewdness... Invoke keepsake mandating omnipotent natural personal righteousness to vaccinate yourself against heinous, nefarious, pernicious, et cetera rapacious trapdoors of selfishness.