Long Peanut butter Poems
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You came home from Quebec,
you were never alone;
your shadow chased you around town
like a dog in love or out of love.
They told me you have been to places
where flies sat conveniently on the ledges of your lips,
you've eaten ugali with your fingers, someone else's fingers,
soaked in saliva and the red juices of greens and beef liver
I remember you leaving Scott County to drive along the roads
of summer with green trees waving at you. You were famous.
You sent a picture of Niagara. Before a mirror,
I saw my eyes in the falls that should've lectured you,
then you sent Alberta dressed in flora and sunshine,
but before a mirror, I saw where sorrow dug trenches in my brow.
At sunsets, I watched the tired lights walked slowly westward like an old lady on quad cane ... and I forgot the sound of my name on your lips
When July entered our town with loud children, you were in Whistler. His mother is continuing in Paris,
and poor James, God rested his bones somewhere in London.
You killed me with Yellowknife when you spoke of the northern lights,
but not once questioned my lonesome nights in White Sulphur
where fresh winds licked the skirt of a White horse to ignite a horseplay
You say Saint John spoke proudly of Como,
so I searched the map to find you where you would sit to sip something
that spoke proudly of Campari Spritz.
I found Whistle Pig Stout.
Some nights, I'd search for you when my finger was tired of scooping peanut butter from a jar. I traced from Revelstoke to Squamish, then to Halifax,
but I found no lobsters big enough to keep you there.
You called about Ottawa, and I found Rideau Canal, a lazy river that still works for the people. You told me Tofino spoke proudly of Costa Del Sol,
so I searched the map to find you where you would drive along something that spoke proudly of Ruta del Sol y del Aguacate.
I found Chesterman Beach Road.
December drove you home, pulling down your dress
to cover the spots where the cold winds were touching you.
I am getting used to being single.
Written 03\28\20
24 hours to live…I need to hurry and come up with a plan
It’s only right to “worry” because I haven’t been half the man
23 hours to live…An hour gone by, I wanna break down and cry;
Because I know with twenty-three hours to go, and I will die!
22 hours to live…I sat down to make amends with my Mother
While I was there, although he didn’t care, I asked forgiveness from my brother.
I forgave my Mother and she forgave me;
18 hours to live…I called my uncle and aunts to tell them I hate what we have gone through.
16 hours to live…I visited my sister and we reminisced about growing up together
The fights, the fun; the tears and laughter will be cherished forever!
18 hours to live…I visited my Momma’s grave, and told her I’d be seeing her soon.
I then placed a white rose I chose, on her headstone and cried that afternoon
13 hours to live…I called up each one of my baby girls and asked them to come see me
I told them they were my world and asked them to accept my apology
I spent five hours with my daughters ‘because I had so much to say
I told them about life and the birds and the bees; about the importance of an
Education, sacrifice and family.
I kissed and held Jasmine, Brianna and Lillian, then told them they had to go;
I reminded them to always pray, ‘cause there will come a day, when I’ll see
Them again, beyond the rainbow!
8 hours to live…My Peanut Butter came over and we made passionate love like never Before.
I told her she was my best friend and her love I’ll always adore.
We held one another, kissed, touched, laughed as the hours ticked by.
I got out of bed, kissed her forehead and for once I was the one to cry!
She then left the house knowing I needed to be alone
I couldn’t help but notice the time and my racing heart beneath my breastbone!
3 hours to live…Alone in my room, I fell to my knees
I prayed to my God to heal me my spiritual disease
I asked for forgiveness for all the sins I’ve ever done
I even asked God if he would make it his business to accept me as his son
I prayed, I talked to Him well into the final hour
0 hours to live…No more pain. I felt my life force drain
And then awoke in Heaven surrounded by white flowers!!!
Note: Entry for Waylayee Whitlock's "If I had One Last Day To Live" Contest
While looking for Elvis
Met Nessie in Loch Ness
Hoarding a leprechauns pot of gold
While getting ready to depart
I tripped over the Lost Ark
In the baggage of a hitchhiking Pharaoh
Thought I had got lost in flight
Stumble into Camelot at night
King Arthur shooting Robin Hood's arrows
Little green men from Mars
Battling a dragon with bumper cars
Jumping on my unicorn I rode
Diving into the Ocean
The mermaids gave me notions
My search for Elvis was getting cold
Swam down to Atlantis in the Atlantic
Dine at Poseidon's banquet
He had a big Roman nose
Cruising the Devil's Triangle
Being careful for any angle
I try to assassinate Castro
No money for the Florida toll booth
I wander into the Flountain of Youth
I look much younger so I'm told
On my way to Colorado
I kiss the Indian Princess of El Dorado
They can keep their entire treasure load
I saw Jimmy Hoffa eating a hot dog
While sitting with Big Foot on a redwood log
They were both getting pretty old
Went over to Memphis
Back through Las Vegas
My search for Elvis was about to fold
Than an angel named Gabriel
Told me about the new guy down at the stable
So I flew off to Shangri-la with pilot Joe
Our wings iced without warning
Damn this damn Global warming
Flying over Santa and a Chinese Viking Eskimo
We crashed landed in Xanadu
Met a few people we both knew
But Elvis left so I was told
With my new friend Yeti
We shared a big bowl of spaghetti
Amelia Earhart cooked and sold
Round the Garden of Eden
I traded an apple for freedom
From the lost tribes of Isreal though
On Mount Olympus I heard singing
The voice of Elvis reigning
I found the King of Rock and Roll
We ate a fried banana peanut butter sandwich
Elvis offer me the last bite of his sandwich
I politely refused I couldn't be so bold
Before I could ask Elvis as such
He rose and said "Thank you very much"
The answers I needed were put on hold
"Beam me up Scottie" he quipped
Than in a flash he was on the Mother Ship
And I turn and saw my friend little Moe
Area 51 is where that saucer came from
In Noah's Ark we drank wine and hard rum
Finding Elvis I am no hero
Looking for Elvis is half the fun
Its the trip that ends where it begun
Down in Dallas on a grassy knoll
Day one out of the womb – had a full crop of hair,
black like my daddy’s (it later went more fair).
Early childhood – Mom kept my brown hair short
because I’d twist it into knots. What a silly sport.
Peanut butter and some gum in my hair might stick.
Never a long hair style could I ever pick.
Pre-teen years – at last I saw my dark hair grow.
Pony tails and pig tails were ways my hair might show.
Junior High, late 60’s, hair piled high like a hive.
A wonder that no bumble bees were seen in there alive.
My hair was also parted always on one side.
I’d wear curlers in a store. Did I have no pride?
High school days – hair longer. In boring math at school,
I sat there pulling off split ends. Must have looked a fool!
College days – used a cheap product from the store.
“Sun-In” gave me reddish-blonde. I used it four times more.
The 80’s – got a perm. The curls were tight. Had oodles.
Now I can have sympathy for cockapoos and poodles.
90’s – used extensions. A lot of folks I fooled.
Strawberry blonde seemed to be the color then that ruled.
New century. New color. My hair was very blonde.
There were two guys in a tram in Rio that I conned.
My friend who looked American knew every word they stated.
About my natural color those guys in Portugese debated.
They finally decided my blonde was natural.
I got a kick out of those young fellows’ folderol.
Later on, my hair got over-bleached. I showered, and
lots of strands of it crumbled right into my hand.
After that, while growing out dark roots about two years,
I wore a wig until uncolored hair went past my ears.
A co-worker , not knowing I wore a wig at school,
told me that my hair had never looked so cool!
By 2010, my hair was in a rut.
Only one side of it grew, so I’d always get it cut.
Turned 60 and got cancer. Ate better to be stronger.
Miraculously my hair AND nails grew a whole lot longer.
Since then till now, my daughter’s been my dear beautician.
She keeps the gray away and my hair in good condition.
Were my hair not dyed, salt and pepper it would be.
I love my gold-like hair, thick, and long and wavy.
Some people think a woman of my age should wear a shorter “do.”
Decades it took to get this look, so NO (and I’ll keep my cute bangs too!)
It amazes me
They say all men were created equally
But that’s denied throughout history
Theirs starts with constitutions revolutions and bravery
They tell us ours is gangs chains and slavery
It’s pretentious
And I’m offended
You started the race just so you could win it
And they did…well they did
Until we realized that an eagle can’t be judge by its ability to be a pig
False metrics
A ruler being held by media outlets rendering our image helpless
They narrate that our great minds are bipolar, out of order or just selfish
Encourage us to swallow your dreams
Beat our women , eat our young and wash it down with the tiniest sips from their revenue stream
And we say nah
Trick no good
Ms Maya Angelo knew
Sojourner too cause Rosa didn’t move so Mlk can spread the truth
I’m not the smartest man on earth but if I wanna change how history looks
The first thing ima change is what’s explained in our history…books
Long live Babylon America the great its the M night Shyamalan planet of the Apes
Long live Babylon America the great its the M night Shyamalan planet of the Apes
Here’s the plan it’s no secret raise your hand and give the answer I agree with
Concentration of Indoctrination now we consider him a genius
Don’t let him look into why Malcolm X wanted to separate
Keep him chasing his tail in circles as we continue to legislate
Tell the only ones that’s special are the ones that did something first
Ignore the names of those that change what was broke but now works
You know what’ll really knock ‘em out of competition?!
Tell ‘em their role models are ball players and musicians
Let’s assassinate all they’re leaders and complain they’re all directionless
Police Kill off they’re strong men n women even though they are weaponless
But keep the freaks in the sheets cuz they women are the sexiest
Add dope to their communities break down the family structure
So it’s really sister Vs sister and brother Vs brother
Father out the home is more pressure for the mother
Strong and independent makes her think a pb and j can be jelly without peanut butter
So what makes you think I want a calendar with 28 days
With 28 names
Of 28 slaves
Lead to 28 graves? I think …..We’d rather have our 40 acres…
(Mimic the song..."If I Only Had A Brain" by the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz)
I could be so independent
So lavish and resplendent
Just a player in the game
I would wield mighty powers
And be mesmerized for hours
If I only knew my name
Oh nothing's getting clearer
This stranger in the mirror
Every day it's just the same
I don't think I'm Richard Nixon
It's my brain that needs a fixin'
If I only knew my name
I must have washed up on the shore
I'm not in Kansas anymore
Tell me who am I to blame
Am I a winner or a loser
Am I sober or a boozer
If I only knew my name
Who's my father and my mother
Have I sister and a brother
To remember is the aim
Was I born just an orphan
Or was I metamorphin'
If I only knew my name
Were there starlets I was meetin'
Or did I take a beatin'
A sad history or fame
Did I grow up in the gutter
Only eating peanut butter
If I only knew my name
It would be an inspiration
If I got an invitation
By the Queen or Royal Dame
All my senses would be tinglin'
When they crowned me King of England
If I only knew my name
Would I do it all for spite
Is it wrong or is it right
Let me tell you it's a shame
Do I love 'em or I hate 'em
Is that my one ultimatum
If I only knew my name
I would wave my country's banners
And practice proper manners
Not to do so is so lame
I would call no gal a heifer
Or a guy a mother effer
If I only knew my name
Am I a true brainiac
Or a total maniac
This confusion I must tame
I may need some absolution
In a mental institution
If I only knew my name
From the summer through the fall
I kept trying to recall
But the memory never came
Am I coming am I going
There's just no way of knowing
If I only knew my name
When I stand I'm dizzy still
There has got to be a pill
Guess I may go down in flame
This must be some strange disease
Won't somebody help me please
If I only knew my name
Well I feel so out of place
I want to join the human race
So now I'm here to stake my claim
And I'm hopin' and believin'
That one day this fog is leavin'
If I only knew my name
We thrive finding freedom
to speak out
to dance around
and sacred shout
to sing full-stop gospel
turn'em out
Outside our secluded cells
of dominant evolution
and protagonist predation theories,
desecrating aparta-schisms,
jingoistic decultured
shameful jisms
Having His MonoTheistic elitist
StraightWhite Capital-Headed Way
Extracting all polycultural Truth
polyphonic Fertility
polyvagal Medicine
polytheistic Trust
CoEmpathic CoPassion
Communion Ability
Degenerating all polypathic
polymathic elegant Beauty
Judging ecopolitical Grace
of Sacred EarthMother Justice,
just EarthTribe us
regenerations
naturally lusty
and spiritually chaste
Singing and dancing
in outside cathedral circles
spiraling lines
of seasonal unwinding fertility
reasoned rhythmic agility
prescribing Whole Open NeuroSystemic Peace,
multi-regenerating timeless
ultra non-violet
communing dark bright resilience
Requires positive health value
brilliance
for playing win/win nicely
with and for
elegant and intricate
GoldenMind/SacredBody
cooperative wealth
CoPassionately robust
EnLightening/EmPowering
nonviolent sacred communion
for ReStorying strong flowing
shining sharing circles
Coming out of secularized
monoculturing closets
disclosing multicultural freedom
to include Indigenous-Taoist Wisdom
rooted in whole open panentheistic
nonzero-spacious/temporal Souls
Climbing root and nail chakra
out of our anthrosupremacist closeted UnSouls
Longing to sing and spiral core dance
WuWei inspired freedom voiced
and choiced unvoice
neuro-systemic lusty prance
to recreate,
co-arise
trauma-free
ego-mental/eco-physical health thriving
DiPolar appositionally sacred
vertical mind/body bilateral balance
Left/Right bicameral resonance,
like peanut butter and banana,
like denim and Square Dance
Resilience encircling
Does +1 communication universe
of (1)-Numerated Thing
=
-(-0) metaphoric appositional
double-binding unity
Not-(0)Nominal Relationship?
Could Mind/Body
empowering health ritual erotic Dance
primally co-relate wealth
with polypathically encircling
exotically enlightened Romance?
Possibly including,
if this pleases you,
Bromance?
Where is Heaven I'd like to know,
Is it just like the T.V. shows?
If I go there will I be able to see
All the other children just like me?
Is there a sea of flowers blooming in the sky?
Is there a special place just for you and I?
Is it really true that angels have wings?
Will I see Grandpa fixing yo-yo strings?
Will there be birds and puppies all around?
Will there be grass on the cloudy ground?
Will there be ice cream and candy to eat?
Will I walk with tigers purring at my feet?
I really want to know that I won't be alone,
If I were, I'd rather stay at home.
I really want to see Grandma once more,
if i were sure I'd step right through that door.
Please Mommy or Daddy tell me what it's like.
Will I be able to ride my brand new bike?
Will my friends and family know just where I am?
And can I still have peanut butter and jam?
Answer my questions, where is heaven now?
Quietly I'll listen so you can tell me how.
I want to hear the answers as I look upon your face.
I will sit and listen to your voice with a gentle grace.
Yes my dear sweet child I will gladly reply.
Heaven may not be way up in the sky.
But I do know this it's buried in our hearts
And I know it's where we all got our start.
Heaven is a special place unlike any other,
It is a place you will see your daddy and your Mother.
You will never be afraid or miss a single thing,
You will dress the very best and wear a Halo Ring.
Only good and kindness and perfection all about
Heaven is the place to be, this I have no doubt.
So don't waste your time on fear of going there.
Everything is gentle even the grizzly bear.
You'll be able to do anything you like
Play and sing and yes my dear even ride your bike.
Whatever you think of will be within your reach
So remember all the rules that we tried to teach.
The road to Heaven takes a lot of love and caring,
It takes practice of faith and a turn at sharing.
You really must believe from the bottom of your heart,
Only then will God place you in His Golden Cart.
He'll give you all you needs and hold you oh so close.
You'll be His Precious Child, He will love you the most.
So learn from life's lessons put to you each day,
Always and forever, don't forget to pray.
When I think back on the tattered pages of my life, I find so much sadness and
sorrow. But there was a time way back when life was truly perfect, before Susan
was killed by a truck walking home from school one winter day. She was six and I
was four and we were sisters who were loved very deeply. Our parents were
hardworking and wonderful to us. But that day changed everything, nothing was
ever the same.
I can remember quite far back, it seems amazing that I can recall being fed in a
high chair, the train was coming and I had to open my mouth. I can still hear
mother laughing when I got food all over my face. She liked to dress the two of us
like twins. I was big for my age and Susan was small for hers. We were adorable,
everyone said so. Many days we went for walks around the neighbourhood and
sometimes we played in this beautiful wooded park that had a pond with ducks
and swans. I remember we would put our feet in the cold water and shriek our joy.
Sometimes we went to the beach dressed in our blue satin swimsuits and
everyone said we were sweet with our shiny hair and of course, we adored the
attention. I recall going to a fair with games and rides. We had ice-cream and
candy floss and went on amusement rides. We especially loved the ponies. Once I
was photographed by the local newspaper with the caption, "tot enjoys the fair," I
still have that photo of me with a big candy floss in my face.
We had dolls and teddy bears and grandma gave us a real tea pot and cups to
to use for our tea parties in the back yard, she even made us peanut butter
cookies, oh, it was lovely. Dad made us a little table with two chairs and a cupboard
for our dishes. We would dress up in grandma's old hats and stuff and even invited
the cat, it is a beautiful memory. Then Susan died and I had two of everything
like clothes, teddy bears, dolls and toys. Life was never the same.
_____________________________
March 31, 2015
Poetry/Prose/The Beautiful Days
Copyright Protected, ID 03-658-687-31
All Rights Reserved, 2015, Constance La France
For the Standard contest, Golden Days,
sponsor, Rob Carmack, Judged 04/2015
10th Place
His assignment was a simple one…to go home…observe his family
and then write an essay his teacher entitled, ‘What Love Means To Me’
He did just that…for days he watched his mom…he secretly took notes
and after a little bit of observation…this is what he wrote:
WHAT LOVE MEANS TO ME
Love is my mom making sure I have all my meals…that I am happy and well fed.
It’s how she makes sure I take a bath, clean behind my ears and brush my teeth before I go to bed.
It’s how she happily gets behind the wheel when it’s her turn to car-pool
or how she greets me with a hug and a kiss when I get home from school.
I saw so many big things my mom does when I was watching…big things of love just for me
but I also saw love in little things she does when she thinks I do not see.
It’s when making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich she takes the time to spread
the peanut butter…just the way I like it…on both slices of the bread.
It’s the notes she slips into my lunchbox…how she finds a way
with a smiley face or a little heart…to brighten up my day.
It’s when she reads me a book in bed at night…once I’ve prayed my soul the lord to keep
how she always reads to the end of the book even when she thinks I am asleep.
It’s when, after she tucks me into bed and has turned out all the lights,
she checks back in later…to make sure that I’m all right.
It seems to me love has two parts…before this…I didn’t know…
each part is equally important…each part make love grow.
The first part has to do with those big things we do for others…
like the big things my mom does for me.
Those big things when I’m watching…that are easy for me to see.
The second part are all those little things we do for each other…
Like all the little things my mom does for me
when she thinks I am not watching…when she thinks I do not see.
So to me love means making another person happier than they had ever thought…
Like all the big things my mom does for me when she knows that I am watching…
and all the little things she does for me when she thinks that I am not
His mom has saved his essay all these years…and sometimes on a whim
She pulls it out to remind herself what her love meant to him.