Long Haggis Poems

thermometer reads zero, a chilly breeze blows
  apple cores thrown, the blackbirds feed
  my multi-layered partner dons her wooly hat
  impatiently, she waits for me
  securing covid masks amidst my overcoat
...

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Who actually is like us
The modern world you see today
Right before your eyes,
Who done this and who done that
Well you’re in for a wee surprise.

From the Bank of England to the Bank of France
Then we...

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The Avenue of Gastronomic Delight

Down the broad avenue called Gastronomic Delight
City life gathers when twilight awakens;

In eateries, drive-ins, greasy spoons and taverns – jumpin’ joints jumpin’
Like Snoopy with his dish doing the suppertime dance;

Lured by...

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Apoplectic curmudgeon fumbles...

Jumpstarting outstanding undertaking...
bringing jouncy, spectacularly crafted,
nuanced, zesty, noteworthy, creatively
spirited enlightened written poem.

This raggedy man doth inconsolably weeps
kept rudely awake whilst disobedient sheep
incur wrath of Little Bo Peep, she lambastes
protesting courtesy rambunctiousness being
future mutton...

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In only a moment of maritime mirth
My ship's maiden voyage was missing at birth
The King's Royal Navy reduced me in rank
By flushing my ship in the place where it sank

I fell in the sea with...

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I love your heathered highlands,
steep cliffs and rugged islands,
hedges and gardens under
rainclouds of grey.
Old steeples rise above
those small rural towns I love;
your hillsides of sunny yellow,
rolled bales of hay.

	Pipers will play their part
	stirring each Scottish...

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Continued from The Eye of the Sea part 5


There washed ashore the Devil’s Whore,
Who had three times been paid,
Preserved through Sin and worshippin’
Beelzebub and the grave.

With many a cheer he’d drunk all our beer,
He’d finished...

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Haggis

I was walking up Benarty hill
When a Haggis crossed my path,
It jumped into a puddle 
As it took it`s morning bath.

It splished and splashed in the puddle
And then it dooked it`s heed,
And here`s me standing...

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SCOTLAND

Very big sign on highway A1   going southways    
Out of Scotland into England,  
Painted with thistles, tartans, bagpipes,  says
“Haste ye back to bonnie Scotland”.
The  other side of...

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Let’s hve haggis and drinks mi luve
Find de bes ina de ole land 
Lay yu head on mi chest mi luve
Whilst wi dance musik wid de band

Dance wid de band in de Highlands
Backyard jig good...

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I am a Burn’s Night baby
(named after the Ayrshire bard)
So we’re off to hunt a haggis
locating one is extremely hard

We scour the hills of Scotland
and have dull and rainy weather
There’s not a haggis to be...

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The time has come your passing has happened 
Your desire to live was never dampened 
The great Scottish debate for you to stay or go
I screamed yes, but the haggis of your heart said no...

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Who or what was this Gretna Green? I oft' did ponder
And English heroine or a fetching greensward? I oft' did wonder!
I learned on my bewildering computer and with my 'cyclopedia at hand,
'Tis a village amid...

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Have you ever been to Scotland ?, the place of many friends,
Have you ever seen the Lochs, or the heather in the glen.
D’ya know of her martyrs, their price to make a stand,
Ever trod the...

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It was a quaint little shop
Looking strangely out of place
And the owner was a hermit
With a crinkled young old face.

He was a man of distinction
Of health hearty and hale,
Had looked a Haggis in the 
Eye...

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ACH!  Don't tell me you've never been to an Oktoberfest!
Folks, that's food, drink and entertainment at its best!
Men in lederhosen, frauleins in dirndls, all so full of cheer,
Enjoyin' tasty bratwursts and steins of Hofbrau...

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Ode to Rabbie Burns.

. I was up before the dawn, 
still half asleep for sure. 
I struggled into wellies 
and headed for the moor. 

The heather smelt so fine, 
my Whisky tasted good 
as i...

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Haggis hype
Bagpipes bleating like unshorn sheep
Tartan theatrical - military tatoos
Scotland cloning Dolly the Sheep
National pride - Robbie Burns, poet, bard of Auld Lang Syne
Highlands of ancient rocks, rift vallies
      ...

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Have pity on the Scott’s ruled 
By the Brexit voting sassenach
Who don’t seem to understand 
We too want out country back.
Arbroath Smokies for breakfast
Porridge  seasoned with salt
Kedgeree, Haggis, neaps and tastes
With wee drams of...

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Recollections were a little hazy,
His leaving party last night,
Undying friendships sworn,
That last friendly little fight.
Goodbye, Scotland the Brave,
Home of the warrior Clan,
The Batter Fried Mars Bar,
The Rangers footie fan,
Cool pints of Heavy
Plates of ‘taties and...

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Note-It's Burns Weekend in Scotland and this is my tribute to our great bard.I will 
be reciting this at a Burns Supper tonight.I hope you like it.


Our Scottish Prince, rustic rogue of rhyme.
Sainted, painted and...

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Scotland, My Home

Scotland, my home, where I was born and bred
Where the saltire flies high above my head
Where the bagpipes sound and the kilts are worn
Where the haggis tastes and the whisky warms

Scotland, my home,...

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The Haggis lives a solitary life
On mountainsides and braes
Foraging, for slugs and snails
Is how he spends his days

But come the rutting season
A change in him you’ll find
He’ll go out searching, high and low
For others of...

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they supped on Bjurholm
drank Kumis
dined on haggis
and rubbed down
with sassafras oil

some made dessert from ackee fruit
and had puffer fish and shark fin soup
what word of satan they spoke
that they are evil and vain
there vanities covered...

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Come hither, thine little Covid face
Puddin’, puddin’, all o'er the place
‘Er thou leapeth, looketh!
‘Er thou jumpeth, deepeth
Verily, verily, weeping weeper, 
Look before thou leapeth!

O’ thou dearly beloved Burns
Scotland’s glory
Cheater, cheater, Haggis eater!
Had a wife and...

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