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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required In only a moment of maritime mirth My ship's maiden voyage was missing at birth The King's Royal Navy reduced me in rank By flushing my ship in the place where it sank I fell in the sea with no source of a boat The swell I could see was no course I could float A large appetite is the curse of a shark Who leads with a bite that is worse than a bark We cried out for help in the dead of the night With talk of surrender we gave up the fight My crusty old sailors were not in the mood To sink in the soup of a shark brand of food My ship was destroyed and my crew was displaced A little annoyed by the danger we faced Our ladies were waiting with coffee and tea And pink bunny blankets on beds made for three When they were well-rested and ready to run I sent them to cities where pirates have fun To seaports and pubs and the ladies who wait With bottles of rum and the chance for a date But many such mateys are making good matches With young pirate ladies in wigs and eye patches Where children are raised to be seen and not talking Like peg-legged babies who lean before walking Whose daddies are carnies in cages of creatures Who match them in stages of true pirate features For prancing with rhinos that race in arenas With dancing albinos who chase ballerinas But all these excursions are merely diversions For hook-fisted pirates who plan to be surgeons The call of the sea and the promise of booty Is why we come back for the next round of duty But English is British except when they drag us More skittish than Scottish for anything haggis To brothers who greet us and tell us they like us And mothers who beat us and smell us to strike us I pondered a fate that is stronger than reason If Lori my date is no longer in season Her love is my courage, without any question Her food may discourage my need for digestion Her frowning is downing my steep escalations By drowning my clowning in deep reservations For what I am facing and where I am going And who I am racing when I should be slowing Oh how I am tinged with a touch of that sorrow That makes me unhinged when I think of tomorrow If fate is a life that is longer than reason Then why pick a wife who is still out of season?
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