Come Softly Now, Thou Little Haggis Bowl

Come hither, thine little Covid face Puddin’, puddin’, all o'er the place ‘Er thou leapeth, looketh! ‘Er thou jumpeth, deepeth Verily, verily, weeping weeper, Look before thou leapeth! O’ thou dearly beloved Burns Scotland’s glory Cheater, cheater, Haggis eater! Had a wife and couldn’t beater Stopping by thy Haggis wood Without a frosty heater. Jump, jump, jump I say In thy brine, belly up Bottom, bottom, bottom shine Scrub-a-dub-dub Thy poetry tub, Darling mine! Soup a contest, Thou shall not stray O' thee and thine alphabet poop Shall never, Nor so wickedly ever Go so far astray! Weary traveler, eerie ace Stop and rest thy weary face No disgrace, 34th place Win it now Thy blue-ribbon best And lose the human race! Now, say goodnight, crap Turn on thy vacant stare Turn off thy thinking cap Twinkle, twinkle little star Never stray, never far From thy happy lap!