WHO ACTUALLY IS LIKE US

Who actually is like us The modern world you see today Right before your eyes, Who done this and who done that Well you’re in for a wee surprise. From the Bank of England to the Bank of France Then we invented the BBC, How the hell did we manage that For a country that`s so wee. We gave them the US navy And the bible you still read today, Vacuum flasks and lawnmowers And sports you play to this day. We gave the world its first round of golf Shinty and ice hockey too, Tatties and mince and potted hough And we were the first to put dough balls in stew. Because we invented football And we even invented the rules, We gave you the first text book surgery For you to teach in our schools. Radiation therapy and x-rays Ultrasound scanners and drips, We gave you the first propellers for boats And made the world’s first iron hulled ships. We even invented the bicycle Tablet tartan and fudge, Swearing Bovril and irn bru And were holding the world’s very first grudge. Dundee cake and shortbread And clooty dumpling too, Jaikies wearing tracky`s With a suit jacket and shoes. Wire rope and tarmac And the underwater coal seam, Finger prints and Haggis And even the tractor beam. Tattie scones and fry ups Cooked and soaked in grease. James Bond porridge and Nessy And we invented heart disease. I`m sure we invented the carry oot With some alcohol and juice, A wee bit Highland dancing In the comfort of your hoose. Hame made soup and lime cordial How could it ever go wrong, But remember the rule don’t talk out of school And there’s only one singer one song. Forbes magazine and the New York Herald The Aston Martin and Buick car, Television fridge and toaster And a hot deep fried Mars Bar. Water proof Mac and the kaleidoscope Bovril and marmalade, Grand theft auto tikka massala And even the Boys Brigade. We invented defeating the Romans So much that they built a great wall, From the RAF to the SAS We invented and defeated them all. America’s first Pinkerton detective Unrest and riots they quell, We gave them red necks and hill Billies But keep that bit to yoursel. AC/DC Buckfast wine We even invented the phone, Dolly the sheep and cloning And even the right to roam. Colour photos the decimal point To name but just a few, Modern economics and hypnotism To put a spell on me and you. Modern geology and logarithms And the Higgs Boson particle theory. Penicillin from a hypodermic needle To make your wee eyes teary. Smallpox typhoid and TB Millions they did slay, The father of tropical medicine Scotland led the way. From the encyclopaedia Britannica To radar and tubular steel, We gave the world its first ATM And invented the Falkirk wheel. We gave you the world’s first steam engine And lighting from coal and from gas, We made the first flushing toilet Where all your wee jobbies could pass. We wear T shirts in the winter Just like we do not care, Civil engineering and the pneumatic tyre Cordite and ginger hair. When you go up north on holiday A fond farewell we bid ye, But dinny wear a tartan kilt For we also invented the midgie. Hogmanay is Scotland’s day But we don’t do the grape and the wine, The whole world holds a dram up While there singing Auld Lang syne. Were no to wee were no to poor For centauries we’ve led the way, Our day is coming shortly For we invented democracy. THE END SAOR ALBA GU BRATH.