Long Fetched Poems

Reveren’ Carlton Whitney was the pastor of our church, and someone I looked up to as a child. 
Six foot six, with piercing eyes, a booming voice, and yet…his disposition, thankfully - was mild.

The very...

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Unidentified extraterrestrial(s) willingly abducted me

As a divergence 
from the apocalyptical, dialectical, 
geomorphological, judgmatical, 
metaphorical, philosophical...,
I share an out of this 
(webbed wide) world,
light hearted anecdote 
ye may find far fetched.

Believe me you,
an unspecified number of...

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Introduction: once again I incorporate 
my trademark penchant 
to fabricate fictitiously
portions of the following poetic endeavor
can you care to 
discern fact from fiction?

Attempts at lifelong friendships and holy matrimony...

Shot thru with figuratively cankerous nub,
cuz yours...

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What I’m going to tell you now might make you think I’m loco. I hope that you’ll believe me, but I don’t care if you do.
You asked me what - in all my life’s -...

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Continued from
‘CATONITA STRIKES - PART ONE’
A Freezer Mice adventure


When no-one was around they did the finger-clicking thing
And grew to human size in time for what the day might bring
Their guns were charged and ready and...

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Reducing sauces is a clever act that is not predetermined

Swimming in tepid waters often relieves tensions but a moose with a migraine prefers an ice cold bath. Bathing rituals signify statuses and this is referred...

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C:
  I journeyed long upon the way, e-mailed through your router
  hello "Henry", good to greet, I am in your computer
  I am between him and her, so I am gender neuter

...

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Nine times a fish tail is spun from thin yarn?

Swimming in tepid waters often relieves tensions but a moose with a migraine prefers an ice cold bath. Bathing rituals signify statuses and this is referred...

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Here's why this was necessary...

   This is, as indicated, the 1st THIRD of a lengthy 3-part poem. The 2nd and 3rd THIRDS had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations....

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"Call it curiosity"
Does anyone on this app really believe
That somehow or another every one of us
Truly think that one side is meant to deceive 
Or that one side is the one that is only one...

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A situation or state of confused movement or violent turmoil. (dictionary definition #2 of Maelstrom)

Today’s opinions are so contrasting and divisive that nobody seems to know up from down!
I believe fairly strongly in what I...

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Here's the scoop, friends...
   This is, as indicated, the 1st HALF of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd half had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations. No other way...

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*There are only two damsels in this tale; all variations were simply for ease of writing.

Once Kate and Isabella went
To see the pretty fields of Gwent
And traipse through forest shade
They packed a picnic lunch for...

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Sean McDougal is eight years old and has a special 'something' about him that is so endearing it's very difficult for me to deny him anything... well, anything within reason. He came up with the...

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There must have been several of these incidents
Occurring in towns and cities all over the country
From month to month and from year to year
But to experience one at such a close range
Was enough to cause...

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Wergle Flomp Good Humor 2023

The following constitutes a rather 
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling boobs in an attempt to escape... 
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy...

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The Sheriff, not a pleasant sort 
Was learning of a bad report
About a soul, Who stood defiant
And swore an oath, to topple tyrants

Who once was noble, but now has strayed 
Hell bend upon his rebels...

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Unquotable quotes: The Janitor, Gardienne, Landlady, Housekeeper, Portero, Sereno and the Hausgast –XXXii Part Two

The duties of the Housekeeper in the U.K. par rapport au Portero in Spain or the Gardienne in France is that...

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Uncertain if my one man pep rally appeals to thee most amazing, daring, grueling... youngest aspirant to restore Earth in the balance predicated upon uncomfortable truth. The old geezer here would be over the moon...

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Grant this civil yankee to doodle till Lee gets blue in the face 

blowing 99 red balloons April 9th, 2023
will signal 158 years since Appomattox
plus what would have been ninety sixth birth 
of the late...

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When vitamin and medication bottles became plaything of the missus

Mental health of yours truly
heavily reliant upon one selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitor named fluoxetine (Prozac)
aside from countless
(approximately seven) other
prescription medications kept
stashed in a plastic tray
until one or...

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Harriet Harris circa November 13th, 1935 - ~ May 4th, 2005

untimely death sentence ordained 
approximately six months prior 
to mother dearest celebrating 
her seventieth birthday,
though the last three years of her life
impacted courtesy hysterectomy
to remove...

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Acute advice for those* who would be King from the THIRUK-KURAL: Valiarithal - K475
[*like presidents, prime and chief ministers, dictators or even modern-day "emperors" under the guise of revolutionary leaders of oppressed peoples]

Note: In this...

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Harriet Harris née Kuritsky circa November 13th, 
1935 - ~ May 4th, 2005
(untimely death sentence ordained ~ early February 1935)

I trot out a poem acknowledging birthday
of dear ole mom, who succumbed, 
lost lease on life
nearly...

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Sane sexagenarian scribe seeks asylum in Canada...

should Trump swindle electorate by hook or crook,
(1003 days, 9 hours, and
32 minutes until 2024 election),
yours truly steels, girds, braces... himself,
and plots serious outlook
pondering exiting United States
(stage door left)
while...

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