Long Escargot Poems

Armadilly Billy the Sling Shot Kidster, was the Sheriff of our town.
When mangy rustlers went into action, he was wont to hunt them down.
‘The Buzzard’ and his surly gang of rustlers of epically, bad renown…
Had...

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I am a foodie, I must confess, I swim a few laps for exercise
Along come the Mollusk, and to my pleasant surprise
I have no restraint and they look so yummy
I just open my jaws wide,...

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Flaming steaks and ice cold drinks
you thought good food had become extinct
until you ate here and gave us a nod and a wink.

Appetizers galore with soft stringy cheese sticks, artichoke hearts deep fried
with a taste...

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Well over a hundred years ago
The illustrious Vincent Willem Van Gogh
A genius somewhat like Michelangelo
With thousands of artworks in his cluttered studio
From the sublime to the grotesque for show
Might have been better off working as...

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'It's A Small World' Restaurant ~ Hudson Valley, New York


My restaurant makes sense, it's rational...
     the food I serve is multinational;
selected dishes, tasty, lots of fun
     served...

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It's always hardest, when there is no one to talk to-
When I dial your number, and it just rings and rings
Until the dreaded "voice mail" picks up.
For just an instant, when there is that brief...

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If I were a prisoner on death row
just hours away from execution
I would NOT order a meal of calamari with ratatouille,
filet mignon with truffles and Strawberry Sherbet.

I would reject a plate of Duck Liver Terrine...

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I love food. Sometimes a little much!

Food for Thought 
By Jan Beaumont ©?

Each country has food that they're known for
Their own local dish you might say 
Some are delicious and some a bit strange
And some...

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ACH!  Don't tell me you've never been to an Oktoberfest!
Folks, that's food, drink and entertainment at its best!
Men in lederhosen, frauleins in dirndls, all so full of cheer,
Enjoyin' tasty bratwursts and steins of Hofbrau...

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Did…I…. tell you my father had a horse?
This story is true, you know that, of cause
Well, one day, we found her, with her legs in the air
Chewing a pair of my dad’s old smelly underwear

The...

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My favorite dining place in town is a place called La Baguette.
'Tis a quaint French café and I haven't found its equal yet.
They serve the most scrumptious French onion soup west of Gay Paree,
And it...

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ARE YOU A MISFIT?

Per chance, in this universe, you are one?

That feeling, somehow you were born in the wrong century. You might look at common 
dress.
You see it as dull, sloppy and freaky.
And you want...

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He sure enjoys 
his life of Reilly; 
lavishly living it up! 
A globe-trotter. 
A man-about-town. 
He's a big hit 
with the ladies, 
and he doesn't mind 
all the attention. 
He's a big spender. 
Did I...

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You just can’t trust ‘em,
your best interest ain’t in their best interest
They got Gethsemane garden secrets to sell
Escargot Iscariot is a Sadducee delicacy
that got a fishy smell
Being a fisher of men 
is a dangerous occupation
Spiritualizing...

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The snail is one of God’s creatures.
In his home in the forest land
He keeps the ground cleared with his crunching.
That’s  a good thing and I understand.

But why does he come to my garden
To chew...

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A consequence of a misspent
youth

Is a flashback to when my
mother beckoned me to her

Calling me by my full name
Christopher not Chris

One could assume one was in
a fair bit of trouble

But on this occasion it was
not...

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Snails are snarling and sneaking around.
Escargot I mention, and they can no longer be found.
I get out the pot and I clang it on the stove.
An enormous one just under my grimy refrigerator dove.

Come on...

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I'm partying down at a Hollywood bash
The reason I'm here is that I crashed
I figured that if I would have asked 
I would have been told to kiss their...

Ask me no questions, I'll tell you...

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Allegorically tangled
with pink braids and lips that sparkle with blue paint
deeply connected to nature
while waxing the house plant's leaves
to a green, clean shine...
Perhaps that's me today.
For, tonight,  we will invite the flamingos for dinner
-these...

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early morning and snails are crossing the sidewalk
there are all sizes and i would guess 
age has something to do with size
not all make it across, large and small
young and old
several mashed snails are on...

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This poem is not meant to offend anyone or belittle their beliefs. This is only my attempt at humor.

~Things I’ll Give Up for Lent~
Liver and onions,
Minced meat pie.
Drinking beer from a can,
Celebrating the 5th of...

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Tease the crowd, post things, small?
Ignore over 800 shootings in Chicago.
Don’t you dare make a fuss at all.
Just sip French wine, nosh on escargot.


The truth is, that many do truly care.
Yet, the hesitant ones, resist...

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Hundred million K' away neighbour, Mars
     Hovers bolognese smeared brother, ice brick
     Fondness for possibles although bizarre
     Intoxicate screw loose hair brained psychic


...

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I once lived in an Iowan county called Appanoose.
Yes, there were women and babies, called the little Papoose.
We drank lemonade, coffee, tea, and some carrot juice
Nothing exotic like escargot, or salmon mousse

Our lives were so...

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I should've learned french before going to a restaurant.
What I ordered there was food that I sure didn't want.
I made the mistake of ordering cerveau and escargot.
When I learned that it was brains and snails,...

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