Dirty Betty the Horse of Cause

Did…I…. tell you my father had a horse?
This story is true, you know that, of cause
Well, one day, we found her, with her legs in the air
Chewing a pair of my dad’s old smelly underwear

The poor old nag had broke out in a sweat
The old fart decided to take her to the vet
So off they set off down the farm trail
She moved a little faster than a French escargot snail

At the end of the farm she began to bolt
For twenty meters like a young colt
They had reached Ascot where a horse race was about to start
And behind her she dragged my dad the old fart

It was not long before they were on the race track
With my father flapping like a half mask flag at the back
The gun sounded and the horses began to race
But all slowed down behind the old nag at a steady pace.

No matter now much the jockeys gave their horses the nudge
They wouldn’t take over, they wouldn’t budge
She eventually won 1st prize
And dad 2nd with a bruised pride
While dad lay there out of breath on the ground 
They presented him with a cheque of two thousand eight hundred pound

Later the vet told dad she would have never been beat
For the old nag surprisingly was on heat.

*A Horse is A Horse Of Course... Contest by Tirzah Conway*

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010



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