Long Arse Poems

Poem revised Memorial Day May 30th, 2022 at 1500 hours

Flagrante delict adulterous sordid behavior 
automatically linkedin with Lothario;
an unscrupulous seducer of women, 
based upon a character 
in The Impertinent Curious Man, 
a story within a...

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Ugg and Ogg, on a rock they sat.
 The pair were in hiding from the sabred cat.
 They had hunted for a whole week long.
 But, recently it had all gone wrong.

The ladies were waiting...

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COME ON SOUPER'S LETS HAVE SOME FUN AND MAKE FOLK SMILE DURING SUCH DIFFICULT TIMES FOR US ALL. THERE ARE LOTS MORE APT NAMES  - PLEASE SOUP MAIL POEMS AND I WILL ADD THEM...

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Font Din Black

so u real??? 
Warning! The following choppy, batty, 
dopey: elegy = flaky, goofy, history: iffy, 
jumpy, kooky: loopy, matty, nappy, nippy, 
sketchy material prone to find the reader 
dazed and bewildered, yet comfortably...

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Part One.  
Bernie Frasier, a funny man, a brilliant man, a can do man, if Bernie can’t do it, no one can!   Bernie Frasier, a kind and friendly man, a gentle man,...

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Approximately three plus days elapsed...
without yours truly experiencing urge to defecate

Neither bloating nor constipation
arose, but one nondescript anguished
logophile anticipated intestinal blockage,
hence prophesying worse case scenario

I (predicated in direction for an adult)
ingested three Dulcolax tablets
and subsequently...

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I 

See the phone towers with the lights- 
Glowing lights! 
What a world of mischief and sorrow their pattern foretells! 
How they twinkle, twinkle, twinkle
In the icy air of night! 
While the clouds that are...

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I relished being hungry for Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

whereby the missus didst potchke
created whirling dervish hubbub
after enjoying repast, 
(fit for a tarnished king),
yours truly able, eager, and ready
to soak my ego freezing carcass in...

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Within my quasi moat toad lily padded immediate environs

Meaning the corporeal complex edifice
housing these lovely bones, 
where linkedin logorrhea ably
strives to break out 
in meaningless song 
yobble hum hum diddle dee dee
and dance courtesy 
an...

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From the error of my ways 
in the blink of one's eyes 
falling backwards I called out 
Oh God please save me
Inside the crunch mercy echoed 
as warm blood soaked the hands 
running through fingers...

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Devil's advocate claims Teflon Trump...

The demagogue reincarnate 
feels gifted to reign supreme
captivates, glorifies, lauds, 
renounces, yawps extreme
views bellows dogmatic fulminations
in an attempt to redeem
stolen 2020 capital one bid.

Which hunter (biden his time) 
will reap grim...

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Recurrent sneezing fit courtesy freshly mowed grass

circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter 
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty...

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I still feel under the weather today April 2nd, 2023

Unseen enemy invades my body 
with platoon of green berets air
rating, and enfilading immune system viz 
Hib bully knock and sock kin me 
courtesy roebuck seers...

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I looked into the mirror and this is what I saw
Overweight, bloated and extremely out of shape
Put me in a purple shirt
And I'd look just like a grape
The time had come to buckle down
It was...

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Happy 68th birthday MaryAnn Sage - revisited January 12th, 2021

Wherever you might be holed up
within this whirled wide web wassup?

Mein kampf still equals board
hardscrabble existence deplored
analogous to Norwegian bachelor,
whose Lake Wobegon nestled within fjord
forcing me...

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Everyone nose, I haint no otolaryngologist

Nonetheless this bard arse feels gratitude
courtesy Laurence V. Cramer, D.O.
without cerumen eye zing
May 17th, 2022 'ere
and thank dog guardian angels,
who find me continually blessed
regarding audiological sense to hear,
whereby faculty sound...

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y am.i. On this site???

to bask
in offline and/or 
     online friendship 
like quaffing from flask
with no deliberate intent 
     to antagonize nor mask
any hidden agenda - 
...

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Only bold , italics , 

The stench of power

  There’s a common smell of bull*****been spreading through this land 
Blair and Brown once had the power to spend spend spend out of hand
The banks...

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The Christmas Mouse
T'was the night before Christmas
And with everything done
The kids were all dreaming
Of Christmas Day fun
The tree was completed
We had wrapped all the toys
When from the basement below
We heard a faint noise
I sprung from...

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Chicanery grabbed lustfully repeatedly - yup!

While merrily bobbing along
the boulevard of broken dreams,
which in truth measured
no more than a furlong
think envisioning myself top banana
analogous to bull headed Donkey Kong,
I felt on top of my game,
which...

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DONALD TRUMP – RE: DUCKS -- 

this portion dashed off (while dry ving an open white hearse slay 

so many months back before sale him slotted the most coveted 

Casino biggest win - before the...

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Blind Date

I went on a blind date, to support my best mate
Who assured me my girl would be awesome,
But the girl he admired it later transpired,
Said she'd only go out in a foursome.

So with oodles...

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Contact 

Standing in a field, camera in my hand,
Scanning misty pines, haloed hill so grand.
Many miles I've traversed, now lost all sense of time,
Morning dew underfoot, dappled light is sublime.
The green plants of this earth,...

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Mothers pride. 

Part one. 

"He never sees the light of day 
Or ever cuts the grass, 
He lies in bed all day 
Or just sits on his fat arse." 

"The toilet seat is never down...

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Early morning, slightly subdued, a drawn out yawn reflecting my mood, 

slope to the kettle, body distorted by its metallic curves, amuse myself for a 
while, infusing with herbs, 

while my head changes shapes, prepare...

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