LEAK ELECTORS LIST
BY ALBERTA SEPARATIST
A FRIGHTENING TWIST
'While stranded high and dry
unemployed skippers ate a lot of kippers'
which smacks of a red herring to me
is a tale told when we were but nippers
altho' with neither fowl nor feline
in a beautiful pea-green boat
the motley crew who put to sea
were assuredly safe and sound when afloat
but then as ocean water rose within
thereby a somewhat large hole revealing
the now woeful matelots felt dreadfully unhappy
as they smelt a strange yet serious sinking feeling
for sadly a rather bad leak had sprang in the bilge below
and their ship went down like the proverbial stone
so the jobless captains fared far better
as landlubbers secure ashore home on their own
The plumber is fixing a leak;
The pipe’s needing more than a tweak.
So for things to improve
He will have to remove
Some wood panels - I’m starting to freak.
Our house, built in ‘80, is old
And it’s paneled, which is, truth be told,
Now considered passé
But was cool in its day,
Though with changing it, I’ve not been sold.
So I’m listening from the next room
As he hammers and drills; I presume
That he knows what to do
For we haven’t a clue
If more leaks, in the future, will loom.
But voila! He just finished and yes,
I’m relieved of a lot of my stress,
For he came well-equipped
To replace what had dripped
And he didn’t leave much of a mess.
On the wall, all the panels survived
And the handyman, once he’s arrived,
Will nail down what is loose
And, as you can deduce,
Of my kitchen, I won’t be deprived.
you p.l.a.y.e.d with my l~o~v~e
hot t
e
a
r
s
l
e
ak from my bruised
h~e~a~r~t ~
b
r
o
k
en f—o—r—e—v—e—r
Contest: YOUR CHOICE u
Sponsored by: Brian Strand
Date: June 2nd, 2025
Contest Judged: June 6th, 2025 9:03:00 AM
Placement: First
Clutter, I call it. Sentimentality. An attachment.
Some rational people would call it a mess.
Objects scattered. Thoughts left across the floor.
I look to the reflection of my mind,
Thrown, left, forgotten. How could I forget?
I’ll tidy it later. I’ll remind myself. I’ll get more organised.
A rotting excuse, as my thoughts trail through my door and leak across the room, too much for my hands to hold. So I let go.
Ripped up sheets, photographs,
The bin has surpassed its limit.
Mugs gather dust, along with the remnants of my last sip of energy,
When I could be bothered.
Broken hourglass,
There’s only so much sand left in me.
Before I make a mess.
Are you there, by the table
In your living room?
What a pity I’m unable
To see through the gloom
Winds are blowing, leaves are dancing
The trees are standing bare
All my emails are unanswered
Like you didn't care
To reply me, cause you don’t know
What about to write
I’m not welcomed, off I go
Into the cold of night
Silence is a strong reply
And you use its power
Probably to show that I’m
Not your garden flower
You are silent, and I’m speaking
For us both again
Like a water I keep leaking
Spilling down my pain.
.
it's
okay
you were born
smart
honeyee
"eyyeee
i
i think you're
dads' from
uncle billie's
dad's
mother's daughter
in law
we're okay
uh
huh"
I didn't know what to do when I left school,
But I thought I would become a plumber, wouldn't that be cool.
Most of the work is inside I thought,
But I should have looked closer, I really ought.
People always think a plumber earns a lot and will be well to do,
Most plumbers are not rich, but they deserve it when they have their hand stuck in the loo.
Most plumbing work is at floor level or even below,
And the aches and pains get stronger as the years just go.
To some people we are just heroes as we stop a torrential leak,
But then we are the bad men when a leak comes back next week.
We are all known for driving white vans, but mine is actually blue,
I never tell anyone I am a plumber because everyone will have a job that they want you to do.
Did you know you can make water run uphill,
So I guess I am proud to be a plumber, but I am happier still is when a happy customer finally pays their bill.
Brow furrows.
Hand shakes.
Stay inside,
a strict voice says.
No breaks allowed.
Yet uncalled
they slip slide down
unbidden,
creep out the corners,
wet the lash,
drip the cheek.
Oh dear dear
Another soul leak,
My eyes betraying me
again.
An onion had it's day in court.
It sliced and diced a false report.
Now when this onion starts to speak,
it's oozing mold begins to leak.
This onion's spoiled, so bruised and brown.
No other onion wants him around..
love’s down the drain
when we’re straining
refrain from lust
23-November-2022
Security leaked some private files
Of a cross dresser brand new hair style
He got popular, you see
His files spilled the tea
So, he unveiled himself with a big smile
The old car had reached its peak
When it suddenly sprung a leak
They tried to repair
But was lost in despair
Not wanting to leave their antique
Seek Rumor They Did Leak
weather would be bleak
while better times we shall seek
rumor they would leak
Jim Horn
By the eerie light of a lamp
He made busy fondling a vamp
Who sat on his lap
To take a quick nap
when KA-BOOM her knickers went damp!
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