jovial jackleg lawyer was no jewel
pro-bono sounded good until we met this fool
he had a jaunty way, but jaundiced jibber jabber
We sent him packing and hired Flim Flam, a flibber flabber
F.F. was a jellyfish full of jovial jiggery-pokery
Jocundity justice was now playing with my kinfolk from Muskogee
(But when the Pharisees had heard that he had put the Sadducees to silence, they were gathered together.
Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying,
Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
While the Pharisees were gathered together, Jesus asked them,
Saying, What think ye of Christ? whose son is he? They say unto him, The son of David). Matthew 22:34-42.
like a mosquito
that buzzing in others ear
Pharisee lawyer
jabberwocky came at a high price
from a jackleg lawyer named Mr. Brice
His jabber irritated the jury too
A life learning lesson for my cousin Lou
What would you choose to do if out for fun?
You'd read a hundred pages of ‘Tom Sawyer?
Eat lentil soup, and hug an old sequoia?
She’s seventy next year, and she’s no nun –
the Jackson number five is called La Toya.
Perhaps you’d like to serve on a destroyer?
Attack a kindergarten with a gun?
Compete at auction, to secure a Goya?
Or are you, by your nature, an annoyer?
Trump Tower bound, to desecrate the foyer?
(Have patience, Gentle Reader: almost done!)
Beware the bear-trap, verbal hurdle, pun.
It’s not pronounced ‘La Jolla’, it’s ‘La Hoya’:
Just take my word. Just trust me. I’m a lawyer.
The lawyer was fill with deceit
Kept lying straight through his teat
Got caught in his game
Then said he was frame
He was found mixed in concrete
I want a daily dose of Perry Mason
(with a sweet side-dish of Della Street thrown in),
the episodic filmed in black and white one.
Give me just one hour every weekday mornin'
of charming Mister Drake detecting where, why,
when Mason's hostile witness will tell a lie,
and then confess murdering his evil boss
without remorse and not counting it as loss.
In the court of justice, where truth's pursuit reigns,
As a lawyer I stand firm, amid legal strains.
With scales of reason and a mind's keen might,
I navigate the corridors of justice's light.
Plaintiffs fire arrows attempting to confuse my sight,
So I craft arguments, striving for what's right.
In the hallowed halls where judgments decree,
My lawyer's voice echoes, setting innocent free.
With briefs as shields and statutes as swords,
I champion justice with relentless chords.
In the chambers of law, I weave my skills,
Defending the innocent to save them from ills.
Legal eagle talks fast
Little lies often passed
Litigation - cash cow
Loads of money - and how
Larcenists? All have rights
Lost the case? Still sleeps nights
Lamborghini? Outside
Licensed to practice the
law, counselors charge for
legal advice and to
litigate a dispute.
Lawyers plead cases and
launch apt defenses as
learned professionals.
Licensed to right the wrong
Look past loopholes of lies
Lure rivals to confess
Listen to untold facts
Lend voice for the silent
Language, their pearl armor
Lawful knights, dressed in black
Litigators deal with
lawsuits of many types
legal complexities
labyrinths of charges
leading to the courtroom.
Losing cases hurts, but
laurels are due winners.
A gem I taught in his school
And under him grabbed the rule:
An Igbo man from Okpo,
Whose enemies she shot “Kpoo!”
With him you don’t around fool:
He’d begin to lose his cool.
Staff learnt to submit their notes,
Even if one had twelve coats
But with same staff reveled
And with that up things leveled…
No intimidating him -
His wine glass fills to the brim;
To me a Second Father
That should’ve been First rather…
When Okpo had wars Radar
But would not burst foe’s bladder;
For himself raised sweet children,
Who avoided hot Cauldron:
A hero engineer son,
Who goes out to meet the Sun
And a lawyer daughter
One might rate Cleanest Water…
Just recently lost his wife;
Death has walked in with its knife!
But he’s the unstoppable
Forever capable!
Between us now a big dam:
When one weighs it: big gram!
I've just declined his fat ram;
Today, returned his fat yam
And it was a blow - A Bam!
No more his sweets in mouth cram
Arab against Uncle Sam:
On his high ways: Traffic Jam!...
Demanded parcels he'd got
To a friend buffet in court:
Tenant nuisance out to harm
Show The Law's Punitive Arm.
And they all went up in flames;
To me lips pushing the blames...
When I meet him, it's eyes right:
From tomorrow Eagle's Flight.
No doubt, I'd crossed mere Sawyer
While searching for a lawyer
Bjork stood upright in the dock
The judge looked up and frowned
The cuffs were firmly locked
As everyone stared him down
It wasn't me he pleaded
I didn't pull the 'trigger'
Surely you can see it now
He was trying not to snicker
Was it not your cork that killed him?
The victim's lawyer questioned?
Your initials are all over it
From one of your wine bottles, he mentioned
Indeed it was a cork of mine
From one of my wines, without a doubt
It wasn't me who held it last
Before the crime was carried out
I confess it was my father
I know he doesn't drink wine
His farts had become a bother
And his marriage was no longer fine
His wife told him to plug it
Which he did with trembling fear
To avoid a permanent split
With the love of his love; mother dear
It was the gas build up during the day
That caused this moment of dread
Poor old neighbour, David Mackay
Received a fatal cork-blow to the head
My accountant’s forever twisting truth
between glasses of generous tall vermouth,
forever conniving to save face
while under breath reciting grace.
Endlessly playing the most convoluted charades,
he masterminds the grandest schemes and escapades.
Inevitably he comes to the same conclusion
that one day there will be no absolution;
still, he refuses to abandon hope
that he’ll find the way to get richer than the pope
AP: 3rd place 2022
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