Best Lawyer Poems
Are Lawyers needed? I put to you
to begin our little tale.
Besides the time you smoked that pot
and ended up in jail.
Was justice blind? The scales clogged
yearning to be free.
He saved your butt when danger called
for a modest fee.
They've gone to school and put in their time,
no Medicine or Arts.
To take the Law so the dark side calls
and they put away their hearts.
They get a job and begin their practice,
start working for a firm.
With no beaming parents or loving spouse,
they're a waste of decent sperm.
Your sidewalk's old and the cracks now show,
someone takes a fall.
They're gonna' sue and you're gonna' lose,
a Lawyer you must call.
You take the time as the clock unwinds,
you offer him your case.
No problem there he will take the job,
just mortgage up your place.
He starts to work, takes down the facts
and tells you not to fear.
He'll do his best and conquer all.
You know your check has cleared.
The time arrives and to court you go,
the victim's in a cast.
Your Lawyer smiles, 'Don't feel too bad,
the fella' has a past.'
He tells the judge the guy's not hurt,
he simply has the gall.
To come to court a hundred times
for minor slips and falls.
The Judge agrees and the case is won,
you're happy with his skill.
You're thankful now and free to rest
until you get his bill.
They play the villain and accept our scorn,
this seems to be their fate.
But people flock as they come in droves
with charges to negate.
I ask again are Lawyers needed?
To those of you who care.
When you're alone in Court and try your best,
you haven't got a prayer.
So give them credit as their time has value,
just hang on to your purse.
There is no deed or human plan...
a Lawyer can't make worse.
The End
Licensed to right the wrong
Look past loopholes of lies
Lure rivals to confess
Listen to untold facts
Lend voice for the silent
Language, their pearl armor
Lawful knights, dressed in black
There once was a lawyer sent to heaven
Given the best room a saint ever lived in
When I asked St. Pete why
He answered me quite sly
“That’s the first lawyer we’ve ever been given.”
A lawyer who sought approbation
Had a penchant towards litigation
He would argue his case
With a smile on his face
Then win in his final summation
.
There once was a lawyer on the hook
For being in cahoots with the crook
The crook was set free
By making a plea
But the lawyer was hit by the book
.
Hidden behind one of a billion screens
Sits todays modern lawyer
Lines of code query through the possibilities
Finding the best-fit affair
His personal attachment to the case
Minimal, yet filled with burning passion
His native tongue
Aggressive vulgarity
The overwhelming platform of communal ignorance
Reinforces his arrogance
Todays modern lawyer radiates omnipotence through words
His persuasion isn’t in a courtroom
Nor is it on a piece of paper
It echoes through the minds of the mindless
The minds of todays modern lawyer
(The writing exercise was to choose three poetry cliches and make them fresh)
(back stabber, after my own heart; and a soul of discretion; maybe more...)
He was a back stabber
After my own heart
Meek and sleek and sneaky
He wormed his way in
And 'innocently' uncovered
State secrets
Private tales
Skeletons in closets
They were all fair game
He was a back stabber
Not to be trusted
But had
Such a sweet smile
That promised a soul of discretion
It was too easy to believe him
It felt good to trust him
He pulled his victims in
And it wasn’t until the court case
Was over
And the jury voted for him
Again
That you realized he was a back stabber
He pulled it off with such panache
And charm
You had to admire the guy
Even while you staunched your blood
I wish – oh I wish
I had his skills
He was a back stabber
After my own heart
A lawyer pops up unannounced
her mundane day he wants to trounce
he tries to lead her on to play
he wants to see if she will stray
she cannot see the sense in that
away from her natural habitat
he tries to lead her on to play
perhaps she will another day
For she is a restless soul
the day to day she finds so droll
of foreign airs and lands she dreams
discovery of the forbidden things
for she is a restless soul
and this can sometimes take it's toll
A suited man with manicured hands
and silken sheets, expensive treats
flashy cars and trendy bars
airplane travel, he wants to unravel
her sweetest place and kiss her face
make her scream an erotic dream
Her thighs are primed to draw him in
but her heart he cannot win
for she steals the souls of men
who work all day in wig and pen
Form:
When the world seems at its end and the righteous ones have begun to bend,when injustice is now considered just and there is no one to trust, when the police force becomes knavish and criminals are at the apex of power and there seems to be no one to turn to, when Doctors kill for money and politicians begin to deceive, when the society it’s at its worst and not a day passes without injustice, when the body is sold for money and money becomes the reason for existence, when children conceive babies and adults end lives, when the ambassadors of poverty have their heads abroad and anus at home, then will it occur that lawyers remain lawyers , then will it occur that humans still exist, only then it would be clear that lawyers aren’t liars, only then would it be clear that lawyers can set this society straight, lawyers can put the powerful ambassadors of poverty to justice, lawyers can accrue honesty from knavishness, lawyers can remove just from unjust, lawyers can remove classlessness from class, lawyers can create a kind of classless society even Karl marx never dreamt of, after all, the pen, they say is mightier than the sword.
Form:
I know my flaws!
why cant i defend myself sir?
I met the cops alone,
We fought alone,
And now i sit silent
As you talk to a lazy man
With a white wig on his head
About how i wanted badly to talk on phone
With my wife to avoid
Signing the divorce papers
Which you will earn a lot from
If it happens?
Why sweat in that white shirt and black tie?
Just because you fear defeat
Or you think i pay you less?
Did you ask you mother to pay for that
Defending wrong doers?
My conscious tell me am wrong
You are telling court i was out of my mind
No way i wasn't i was annoyed
Who said i have no rights to react negatively ?
Who said i cant walk away from the cops?
Lawyers like you!
Because you wanted to define your jobs.
I am only grateful when they are interrogating me
I just pose and shy away as i say
I will only talk to my lawyer
When you walk In
I feel like telling you
I will only talk to myself
There was once a lawyer from Honolulu
Who always suffered from flu
He never stood before the judge
If he was offered a fudge
And a ticket to the land of the zulu
The law is an ass that made me a victim,
so is my lawyer, his head up his rictum.
The law he said he knew
but is just a shyster who
doesn't know his coccyx from his dictum!
Lawyer Wainwright harrumphed and rose to his feet
To defend his client in front of the jury,
In what all thought would be an impossible feat,
But approached the jury in a manner unhurried.
He began, his eyes bright, his brow unfurrowed.
He looked to his left and he looked to his right.
“Ladies and gents, the evidence you’ve heard!
My client's guilty as sin, the case is airtight!
But decorum requires that I say a few words
And, you all must agree, that is only right.”
“I will be brief,” and then spoke for two hours,
And then continued on for four hours more.
He spoke of the freedom in this land that is ours.
He told of his parents born honest but poor.
He mentioned that his client liked puppies and flowers.
He said “ipso facto” and “caveat emptor”.
He cited twenty-one constitutional rights.
He reviewed all the evidence, each piece and scrap.
He asked all of them to keep justice in sight.
He spoke of the history and the making of maps.
He described some relevant Druidical rites.
He loudly complained about his property tax.
He freely admitted the DA was right
When he sought to see his client at the end of a rope.
But urged the reporters to continue to write
Of this grave travesty of justice, in the hope
That one day this horrendous wrong they would right,
And "peace, justice and mercy would circle the globe."
By the time he’d left off in his defense summation
No one in the courtroom thought to begrudge
His client when, after due deliberation,
They found him not guilty and convicted the judge.
OK there was a lawyer from Kent
Who was known for been bent
He’d take a bride
And would not hide
The money made him feel gay as he spent.
On the first day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to me
a card from her new attorney
On the second day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to me
Two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney
On the third day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
Three poloraids
two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney
On the fourth day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
Four hotel bills
Three polaroids
two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney
On the fifth day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
five ....oh hell
I was gone...by this time
who am I fooling
and a card from her new attorney