THE CROWN JEWELS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Queen Xena, a squirrel, was a female hoarder beyond measure,
for her crown jewels she surely did treasure.
she hid them in the kingdom’s storage locker
along with the fact that she was a punk rocker
The keys and her reputation were safe, safeguarded by her personal dresser.
Then it came to pass, surely you’ll gasp!
Xena’s jewels were lost, away from her claw-like grasp.
“Oh what’s become of my jewels, I’m coming undone.
I’ll find the perpetrator and shoot him with my pea gun.”
“Who’s the perp?” You just had to ask.
Eyewitnesses said, “The thief wore a black mask, was ‘big clawed.
We seen him scampering about the forest and the royal quad.”
At police headquarters, they wrote their statements
Xena filed an insurance claim, believing in suspect’s escapement.
Later texted her friend, the masked racoon. “No one suspects us of insurance fraud.”
I told the nurse
I swallowed a snake.
He charted: religious mania.
But I felt her—
three and a half turns
sleeping
just south of the back
of my clavicle.
I called her Vera
then,
full breath
pried me open.
Fire-rising,
slithering:
it was gospel
sliding
down my vertebrae—
a ladder
Jacob had forgotten—
yea and behold though
we came
back for it.
I couldn’t stop laughing.
Or crying.
Or saying
I saw light in the colorless
rooms
outside
understanding.
When I explained, again,
how god comes
in my root,
propels
herself through
my expanded
throat
chakra,
they were furious—
branded me
inpatient,
wrapped my wrists,
ordered more
Thorazine.
They don’t let me
sit cross-legged,
say my mantra
disturbs
the others.
Just between
you and me
this energy wall
crumbling, this crux
of second comings,
this fifth horseman—
is a woman re-forming
initiation:
an apocalypse
finally
worth the animal
salt-sweat
hump
it took to get it
going.
Storms are troubles that are a part of your life.
They pass through from nowhere, in their wake is strife..
Pain and suffering may result and sometimes loss.
There is coverage left for you, at the foot of the Cross.
Nothing to put down, Someone already paid your cost.
We'll find peace & comfort where suffering took place.
A plan from God for the whole human race.
In your vehicle of thought, make it the first place to go.
The Underwriter name is God, in case you didn't know.
It is where where Jesus signed the contract for me.
Written in His Blood. The address Calgary.
From there God's angel messengers reach out to you.
Where sin-dead spirits arrive and leave renewed.
Coverage is given to all, no soul turned away.
Through Christ God guarantees coverage everyday!
To sign sign on the line, lay down your pride.
Admit you are wrong so Christ in you may abide.
It's a policy for life, nothing else needed to do.
Because Jesus, our agent has done all for you.
God activates it "IMMEDIATELY" to cover all strife.
He's like "Our Good Neighbor!" for all storms of our lives.
There will come a day when I forget
to furnish you with flowers
and your noble heart will grieve
o'er the chilled dimming of bright fire.
But fear deceives us best
when we know there's much to lose.
As for my lapse - don't let it frighten;
for in a way it means the opposite of
what you think.
For my own imperfect mind
forgot to remind me to prove
what it assumed you already knew:
that flowers and chocolates
and poems and kisses
and all else that I could give you
are insufficient - unequal to what you deserve.
And, to my feeble mind,
such things were unnecessary -
for I thought you knew
that I loved you.
written 2025-04-26 ~10:32-10:45 AM
I am a plumber,
CDM is my companies name,
The initials belong to my sons,
They may work with me one day.
I had a LARGE WHITE van,
Before Covid made all of the
Prices lower.
Later I tried to get different work, a variety,
But I partnered with a no- good man,
And I lost it all again.
I had insurance so I kept the house, the family home,
I said to the no-good man-
DON’T WORRY ‘BOUT ME!
Like the words in a song,
You just carry on and I’ll get along.
So here I am now,
I’m working again,
I managed to keep my head up,
And to work through the pain!
We paid our premiums Lord, year after year,
It was expensive but for nothing, now I do fear.
We don't understand how it is possibly right,
To be paid for our loss, we have to now fight.
Isn't that what insurance is made for?
We lost our home, and the clothes that we wore.
The hurricane, it took our whole house away,
The cars, the boat, but they said "it's okay".
They gave us a claim number, and never called back
After a bit we knew something was off track.
So we called, and they said they would reach out to the boss,
To see if they could cover this hurricane loss.
After much frustration, a letter comes in the mail.
The company was insolvent, and our claim was a fail.
They hadn't paid us a dime, and the company left the state
They don't care about us, and this is our fate.
Pennies on the dollar, they offer us months later,
It's time to lawyer up, this company is a traitor.
We pay thousands to cover our home each time
For them to pay us nothing, is an unforgivable crime.
If you cannot help falling ill,
Maybe, best is blithe be and chill.
But if you be discreet
And decide to have it,
With prayers do send your claim bill.
It is your truth versus their stealth,
Who’d carp, contest your claim
And deny Refund Dame,
They, not in business of good health,
Would rather win for them good wealth.
________________________
Happenings |19.12.2024|humour, health
Poet’s note: Medical insurance is in news these days. First there was this hospital in Gujarat that performed operations never needed just to claim insurance money from government’s scheme for old people. Then, an insurance company CEO was killed in USA by a disgruntled policy holder denied the claim. Yet, public sympathy does not seem to be with the CEO who lost his life. Strange, but true. Medical insurance is very expensive, claim settlement iffy and dicey. And yet, not to have one is very risky. This ditty dwells on this dilemma.
My husband has a perk with his insurance
They provide two thousand dollars worth of free stuff a year
We think vitamins are included, they are not
We think Kleenex are included.
We are also wrong.
My husband discovers they have their own store.
Everything in this store is fair game to be free.
I sit at a computer for a couple of hours spending it all.
Fifty-six boxes of goods arrives in the next week.
Where to store it?
I will have to figure it out.
This is our last year for this perk.
This insurance company is dropping Kansas residents next year.
A dog's job is to foes terrify,
Actors of scary films horrify,
The police a rogue identify,
Insurance firms one indemnify...
Science would laymen's claims verify,
Panels rigged elections nullify,
Microscopes to microbes magnify,
Deodorants to bad air purify.
Witnesses in courts to testify,
A counsel to trial judge mollify,
Big stereos to music amplify;
Flowers one's surroundings beautify...
The Angels Lord God glorify,
Nudists the public mortify!
If you make a claim
they freely raise the annual fees
and then they confound the issue
with talk of a depressed market
and rampant inflation
I wanted to change horses
but realised the claim we had made
would make our insured sum more expensive
I felt their snide behaviour
There was an elephant in the room
Paying for insurance
Often seems like such a waste.
The money that you pay and pay
Can never be replaced.
Insurance on your home or car
Is only worth it when
There’s damage from an accident,
Which happens now and then…
Or maybe never, in which case
You’ve shelled out all that dough
For absolutely nothing;
That’s the way things mostly go.
Except, of course, when things go wrong
And there’s a huge expense.
At times like those, insurance
Makes an awful lot of sense.
looking at the water
with less money than i had before
thinking about the latest person that was blessed with a lucky scratcher
i look down at my lunch
i look in the armrest compartment at my work badge
i look at the interior of my old lady faithful that i just had repaired
i think about my blessed mobility and what i can still do
then i look up and it has stopped raining and the skies are perfectly blue
suddenly i notice a waterfall that was not there before confidently winking its eye at me
the flow of the water is drawing inspiration from a now well rested sun
i guess i got it and this is some sort of approval gesture
maybe it is a Blessing From God for not only me as an unbeknownst reminder
whatever it is, i ask no questions and just roll with it
my lunch is hotter just like i like it and the orange cream soda is colder and just the right level of refreshing
all views are more thoroughly EnJoyed with New Meaning and with a New Fervor
Saved life, destroyed life.
Can't even save my own life.
Can't keep it all safe.
But can take needed measures
To protect what matters most.
Someone comes to shoulder the cost
Of what you’d spent and thought you lost
And you have money recovered
With lovers’ insurance covered!
But favor’s some kind of bullet
And you’ve lost another wallet…
If your helper was a Lecher
You’d to God pray for a lecture
For The Lust that makes him Leper
Tom, Dick and Harry, Blank Paper.
Another sweet note from the A.A.R.P.
Seems those folks want to insure me
I’m worth only the most limited liability
But eligible for their lowest monthly fee
They say there is a lifetime guarantee
I wouldn’t be around to check and see
If they had looked up my family tree
They’d know I have plenty of longevity
So I’m passing them up on this monthly.
Written May 27, 2022
Related Poems