Humorist Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member War on Laughter

After 9/11, there was the "War on Terror",
a conflict with a lot of trial and (mostly) error,
and few of us asked during all that commotion
"How can you declare war on an emotion?"

Well, now in America, there is a "War on Laughter".
The POTUS - "His MAGA-sty" - is going after
any and all of those pundit folks
who like to make him the butt of jokes.
(And, sadly for him, he can't call it a hoax
as he sits in his tacky Oval Office and mopes.)  

Dozy Don, with the cheesy orange hair,
thinks he has beaten Stephen Colbert
and will try again to get Kimmel banned
but "Against the assault on laughter, nothing can stand." *

He can try to cancel all the critics he wants
in a pathetic display of impuissance,
but his prospects will be nothing but grim
because we will always keep laughing at him.     

(* A quote from America's greatest humorist, Mark Twain.)

Premium Member Mark Twain

American humorist and writer, Mark Twain
born as Samuel Clemens, his name in history does not wane.
He attacked Big Business with “The Gilded Age.”
An observant journalist as well, Twain was very sage.

Premium Member Humour Wins Hands Down


Tried writing stuff of a serious nature
Just knew it wasn't for me
Dabbled a bit but I just couldn't hack it
A humorist is all I'll be

It's not exclusive, still write about love
Some about conflict and war
But I'd rather write about a sorry dude 
Slipped on a banana peel and swore

Don't call me Burns or Shelley or Keats
Prefer ones that make me cackle 
Guess you could call me low brow poet
Causing one's tail to waggle

Was born with a silver spoon in my mouth
Fortunate when so many struggle
Don't call me down, it wasn't a choice
Much like the law of the jungle

The luck of the draw, whatever you call it
Really didn't have much of a say
I was truly a product of World War II years
Still happy to this very day


Dont Call Him a Terrorist

You don’t call him Terrorist’
Who can’t dislocate a wrist:
Whose speeches do the plain harm
While he might not waste a farm.

His palms like ancestors bares,
Ancient styles promotes like wares;
He’d forgotten worldly cares,
Save open taunts of false heirs…

Less Terrorist Humorist
To whom East West is West East 
And  A K 47
Kills just 47…

He is no more terrorist 
As the clothed is Nudist: 
In speeches sues not for peace 
And cares not when faces crease 
Fears food cooked by his niece 
And wife first asks to taste hers 
In case Eater ends in hearse…

Strange ways of prizing his fame:
Free to Holy wedlock shame:
The marching to marriage lame;
Juliet’s love for Romeo tame.

Wordsmith

Suddenly he is gone
His words unspoken
And, more sadly, 
Unwritten

Some said he’d been a preacher
He could certainly hold a crowd
Teasing them and pleasing them
As he spoke his words aloud
A painter of word pictures
Spoken with verve and style
With asides and interjections
Every random once in a while

A spoken word performer
One of that select band
Who could hold an audience
In the palm of his hand
A raconteur and humorist
A veritable bright spark
Love his work or loathe it
But he certainly left his mark

Now suddenly he is gone
His words unspoken
And, more sadly,
Unwritten

Rest In Peace

Not a Humorist

This poem is not a Black Lives Matter hashtag
That it will seek justice for George Floyd
It is not a racial stereotype
Or a free the back  hype

This poem is not to seek bail
For the black in jail
It will not in anyway
Bring back Khalili to life

This poem is not for the *****
Or for the pale blonde general
It`s content is not to make 
A  turn into a slinger

This poem is not a humanist 
That it will bring back humanity
It is not a humorist
That it will amuse your eternity 

This poem is a plea to the racist
To stop racism 
For humanity is lost in materiality


Pals

Their faces are still there;
caricatures and cameos,
grinning mugs and jug ears.
Cheering, jeering chums
that would phone at four in the morning
to garble drunken thoughts,
make momentous plans,
or borrow ten quid.

The oddball humorist
and part-time suicide,
the drama queen
contesting her own shadow,
the poet who never wrote a poem.

The mon ami and mon amie
that drank for you
when you could drink no more.
Long after the late-night bus rides,
I see their features pressed against
softly glowing windows,
as London transports them
even to far off Ohio;
their lips silently mouthing –
a last goodbye or maybe just trying
to cadge another tenner.

Poetry In Drops

ADVERTISING
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humorist who
makes profit laugh ...

    EYES
Parallel Eyes,
do not meet
not in infinity ...

    GENIAL
The best poetry,
comes from genius
of the modest ...!

Pals

~~~~~~~

Pals

Their faces are still there;
caricatures and cameos,
amigo mugs and jug ears.

Cheering, jeering chums
that would phone at four in the morning
to garble drunken thoughts,
make momentous plans,
or borrow ten quid.

The oddball humorist
and part-time suicide,
the drama queen
contesting her own shadow,
the poet who never wrote a poem.

The mon ami that drank for you
when you could drink no more.
Long after the late-night rides,
I see their features pressed against
softly glowing bus windows,
as London transports them
to other decades, even to far Ohio;

their lips silently mouthing –
warnings perhaps, or
maybe just trying
to cadge another ten nicker.

Premium Member Defamation of Character At Winters End

Tribute to our limerick humorist, Tom Cunningham.
This poem written as response to his poem: WINTER’S END HUMOR

DEFAMATION OF CHARACTERS AT WINTER’S END

This Tom is a son of a gun, “Oh shoot!”
Exclamation blunt as this poet coot
Defames one more fellow,
With ink makes him bellow.
Another slipknot, “Oh shoot!”

2/26/2020

Premium Member A Trio of Styles

A Rhyme on a Free Verse Poet

Her poetry has brevity and also clarity.
I really like her free verse done that way.
Like miniature free verse too are her haiku.
Often so amazing are they!
From “Kisses” to “Wishes” to “One Serene Morning;”
From “New Year” to “Afternoon Fun,”
The poems of this poet from Canada flow. . .
May Line’s work here never be done!

A Limerick for a Humorist

A fun gal from the Isle of Man
writes “naughty” whenever she can.
For her limerick fame
I should like to rename
her small country the Isle of Jan!

Me

I
write in
many forms -
from classic to
newer invented
one like this: etheree.
Preferring rhythm and rhymes, 
I don’t write free verse as often.
But I’ll try my hand at anything
at least once! I’d call my style eclectic.


Jan. 14, 2020 for Line Gauthier's You've Got Style contest

Pals

Their faces are still there;
caricatures and cameos,
amigo mugs and jug ears.
Cheering, jeering chums
that would phone at four in the morning
to garble drunken thoughts,
make momentous plans,
or borrow ten quid.
The oddball humorist
and part-time suicide,
the drama queen
contesting her own shadow,
the poet who never wrote a poem.
The mon ami that drank for you
when you could drink no more.
Long after the late-night rides,
I see their features pressed against
softly glowing bus windows,
as London transports them
from other decades, even to far Ohio;
their lips silently mouthing –
warnings perhaps, or
maybe just trying
to cadge another ten nicker.

 ~~~~~~~


Authors Note: "nicker' and 'quid' are Brit/cockney terms for 
pounds sterling - money.  "Cadge" as in - scrounge.

Le Madam

She is most like her age

Time having eroded some of her natural beauty

A few warts have appeared here and there in spots

Yet there is this blend of young and old alike melded into one

She has transformed herself from bilingual to multi-lingual

Despite this her character has little changed over a long existence

The night life she relishes still as vibrant as ever 

If she was a building one would say she had age and charm
 
Her busyness belies her serenity 

Blessed with a deep history she exudes confidence

Allowing her to grow and prosper

Into whom she is today

Nothing can dampen her spirit it seems

Though sometimes turbulent periods have been had

Through it all a humorist slant developed and enjoyed by many 

Her name Montreal

Andreas Simic©

Own It

Innocence has its travails of 
Losing the true identity of
Being touchy versus being sensitive.

I ruined many beautiful moments
Forsook my joys to reel in entanglements
Of lively public bantering as being abusive

A mild joke was a jab of cold heartedness
Brooding for days over the other's rudeness
Undervaluing true love by being hyperreactive           

I left old love for foreign shores
Not on basis of personal wars
But reasons much more elaborative

Long distances and free of heart
I downsized my kiddish touchiness as advert
My heart became ruminatively introspective

I realised no man could live up to his demeanour and heart
A reversal of attitude transformed me with better art
I pined for his undemanding nature, now so laudative

I returned with a list of do's and dont's in my small fist
Loaded with more love for my compulsive humorist
Being a little calmative, relationships become more attractive 

April 22, 2016
Sponsor: Cyndi MacMillan

Premium Member Holy Cow-

There once was a chef named Lew

who swore Samuel's words were true

that Sacred cows make
 
a great tasting steak

and the best hamburgers too.


Sacred cows make the best hamburger. 
Quote by Samuel Clemens (A.K.A. Mark Twain) 
(1835-1910) U.S. humorist, writer, and lecturer.

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