You lied
I cried
Lie low
Hello
My dear
Her rear
Was flake
You snake
Slitter
Hitter
Batter
Scatter
Foul balls
Who falls
I did
You squid
I plea
Leave me
Your eyes
Like pies
And sweets
And tweets
That sing
And bling
That sate
Your plate
Without
A doubt
Peter
Cheater
Pumpin
Bumpkin
Bowwow
Chow Chow
It's clear
Leave here
connie pachecho
1/12/25
Note-A prelude to this poem, "If I Were Your Love," dated 5/1/23.
My hubby prefers silver to gold
Got married to save his soul
It’s a lesson well learned
Better marry than to burn
But he still wants to be cuckold
Hubby and Meowlu went out to play,
With a cricket ball on a sunny day.
They kicked it around on the soft green grass,
Meowlu was quick, oh so fast!
Hubby would throw the ball up high,
Meowlu would jump, almost touching the sky.
They ran and laughed and had such fun,
Under the warm and shiny sun.
The ball bounced here and rolled over there,
Meowlu chased it everywhere.
Hubby clapped and shouted with glee,
At his cat so nimble and free.
They played till the sun began to set,
Both tired out and a little wet.
Hubby hugged Meowlu, his furry friend,
A perfect day that never came to an end.
planned once-in-a lifetime fab holiday,
Suzie packed for amazing sun-kissed stay!
flashy bikinis in van,
life's unbearable - must tan!
left poor hubby to sulk in great dismay!
November 26, 2022
"A Funny Christmas or December Holiday Limerick" Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Syllables (10-10-7-7-10) checked by HMS.com
For "Brian Strand" Poetry Contest
Honourable Mention
I cannot trust my husband to dump the trash, so I insist on taking it up.
He has squirreled so much crap back into this house
I make him put it into his office.
His office has six recliners, two beds,
and a stack of three couches. It is crazy full.
There are books, sweatshirts, and eight
not-quite-all-there sewing machines in his man cave.
It is a hoarder’s den of mice-only-know what.
I watch him cart in a box of cat litter.
He does not yet realize it is where I put the used cat litter.
It shouldn’t take him long….
Always remember,
The way to your man’s heart
Is through his stomach,
Always remember,
To keep 10 minutes a day
For intimacy,
Always remember
A hug and a kiss
Every day,
Always remember
To praise him for doing
Odd jobs around the house,
Always remember,
To drop a hint that it’s near your
Birthday, don’t let him forget
And then sulk,
Always remember
To say what a wonderful husband
And father he is,
Always remember
That having a glass of wine together
At dinner is romantic – never in excess
Always remember
To schedule a date night,
Always remember
To be attentive when he talks – listening
Is very important,
Always remember to put his slippers,
Next to the heater in Winter
Remember these rules for the rest of your life,
And always remember to be a friend, a mistress and wife.
SHOPPING WITH HUBBY
It was our son’s Wedding, I had to look good,
My car in for servicing, sick under its hood,
So willingly and heartily hubby volunteered,
To take me to the mall, he came geared,
Two magazines, it didn’t matter how long I took!
Such a kind soul, I could never dream
My darling husband could still wear a beam,
After I’d dragged him, from shop to shop
And exhausted him till he wanted to drop,
What a saint, I had tested him to the extreme!
Of course we went to the best mall around,
Cost or price didn’t matter, eventually I found,
Exactly what I wanted, a little expensive I said,
Never mind love, walked to the cashier and paid,
I’m so pleased, now let’s be homeward bound!
I took his hand and we began to walk out,
Somehow he knew I was on a shopping bout,
We arrived at a shop which I knew rather well,
I was up to something, he could tell,
Darling I said, this outfit will suit you no doubt!
A lady I met named Regina
Had a terribly slack v'gina
She said with great mirth
‘twas caused by childbirth -
She’d seventeen kids to remind her!
Fictional poem!!!
1/31/19
I have a friend who told me one day "I am not sure what my feelings are, I will have to ask J." J is her husband, and he is in charge.
He is her third husband, but husband one and husband two were in charge too.
If current husband is a democrat, she is a democrat.
If current husband hates democrats, she hates democrats.
If current husband likes blue, she likes blue.
If current husband hates blue....
Do you see where I am going with this?
All of her emails start with "hubby says".
All of her social media posts start with "My husband thinks...."
I have taken her gently by the hand, and said, "I do not want to know what hubby says. I want to know what YOU say. What do you think?"
She cannot answer, because hubby has not
told her yet what she can think.
I have been waiting for a long time for her to cut the
strings that hold her, but alas, hubby has hidden all of
the scissors. Even if he gave them to her, she would just race down the road to hubby number four.
Hubby Market -
I’m going to the market,
To search for my true love
He will be as I imagined
I will find my turtle dove
I’m going to the market
Hidden there is the one for me
I don’t know what sign to look for
But he is there just wait and see.
Im going to the market
I’ve been touched by Cupid’s arrow
I know it seems unusual
But it’s written in my tarot
I’m going to the market
To meet the the man that is made for me
I have dreamed of this day for a lifetime
The irony that he’s chosen me
Twenty-six years we’ve been married
I can’t believe it’s been that long
If there was a medal for ‘bravery’
You sure deserve to be awarded a gong!
When I wake up in the morning
Your face is the first thing that I see
But YOU know in my wildest dreams
I’d prefer it was that hunk George Clooney!
Dedicated to my hubby on our anniversary which is actually on 22nd June although one year I had put it on the calendar incorrectly as 20th June so if I post it on soup on 21st I am pretty close to both dates!
06-21-17
Hummingbirds sing sweet when
his head rests on my lap-
Heavy-hearted moments
heal my wounds with such ease-
He encompasses with
heated passion and love-
Heaven in his warm arms...
Pleiades H
February 19, 2017
"Hubby’s fantasy football day, a wife’s date with fifty shades of grey."
Monoku Madness - Poetry Contest
Sponsor: John Hamilton
17 Syllables
Date Written: August 20, 2016
Sleep like a wee baby most every night
At times wet the bed, oh my, whatta a sight
Cathie spanks my bum
Found it kinda fun
But still loves her bed wetting hubby despite
Carol Eastman's hubby named Michael
Has joined us which only seems right-ful
Whatta team it will be
If he's as kookie as she
To welcome your dear hubby, it's delightful
© Jack Ellison 2015
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