I`ll die waiting for my life
i am incredibly afraid to wait all the way until my death
its a sad reality im living
i´ve been waiting for way too long
i dont think i can do this anymore
life runs slow and fast and streches all the way to the past
it feels empty now as if everything has passed
and still i wait for something to happen yet i dont know what
i´ll die waiting for my life
im not asking for anything really im just asking for somethting so simple
so pathic and so childish but i do cry thinking about what i couldve had
maybe i am a grown up jealous child or maybe i am just being myself
Often the whispers of regular people visit my noisy ears
and i find myself fighting the urge to yell how good their live is comapred to mine
i want to feel like i have the right to cry and want to die
that way i never imrpove anything i stay still as a rock in a river
Life is slipping away and yet i dont even turn my head to glance at it for the last time
To me its a hopless case that neither you or I can save
Im a hypocrite beacuse i do cry thinking about how
I´ll die waiting for my life
Psych wards often lack mirrors
Out of fear that they will be broken
We cannot watch our faces stain with tears
That privilege evades the hopless
Yet still I remember staring at that wall
In the bathroom above the sink outside the stall
I stared at bricks with the paint flaking off
And in the nothingness, a reflection is what I saw
I saw that I was broken and didn't want to heal
That I was grieving for the things
I had forgotten how to feel
Despite my diagnosis
I'd say I've never had depression
Despite my semicolon, all I had was symptoms
Death was the logical escape
A coward's way out but a more gentle fate
And when that too failed
Everyone's words were the same
"It's gonna get better"
But how long am I to wait?
As of now, half a decade
And my stance has begun to change
Living is enough
I do not owe you a reason
I exist for myself and this world is better with me in it
Yesterday i hopped 5 times
today i hopped 2 times
ACID
Her still serene body was pulled out of the water,
She had been a sister and a lovely daughter
Her face was scarred and her soul was subject to slaughter....when the sun shone and weather grew hotter
It was a bright beautiful summer day,
And her life was the price she had to pay,
Her acid marked face was lifeless as she lay,
Neither society nor fate beckoned her to stay.
He threw the bottle of acid on her face,
She was just sixteen...living life at its pace,
When mere rejection hurled her in a maze,
And barred her eyes from meeting societal gaze.
Some say it was a suicide but it was a murder,
The acid put out her flame and thunder...
Her confidence, to society, had surrendered,
She saw in it a hopless ocean, whereas it was only a meander.
A permanent mark of male domination,
An ego thrown off by rejection....
Unaffected by suppression or objection,
Stripping down the dark despair of our nation...
Useless most times,thats how i feel,worthless,confused not a big deal. Hopless,annoyed,feeling cold in my heart. Not understanding why my world fell apart. We didnt have much but our love kept us whole,why did this happen to us a decade you stole. When i think of this family i still wish was there,im the one that gets burned noone plays fair. Feeling sorry for myself i guess that is true,im alone in these streets,with nothing to loose. Against my own will I had to give in,a looser since birth,theres no way to win. Stressed out,so depressed,could this be my sign,feeling this lost,all alone in this life. Noone to trust,all i ever loved went out the door,paranoia settled in me, god i cant take anymore. Im not needed anymore please take me away, god i beg forgiveness for not wanting to stay. When i needed you then you did not reply,understand this my lord im too weak to try. I once was a mom understand this please, so now i am nothing but only a freak...
After a year I am back with my new product. I still hope that you will read this and I will be active on submitting poems yeeey.
How can we give up
On our long lasting love
How can we drop
On everything that we have
Have you seen the tears that I shed
Every dorps it falls in the bed
It stung and my eyes turns to red
Because of this hopless love we met
How can we forget that there was you and I
A promise that we will be together until we die
How can we forget that our love was strong
In this world where everything shows that this is wrong
POEM 22 MY PROMISES IS NEVER HOPLESS
I ALWAYS GAVE YOU WHAT EVER I HAD TO GIVE THAT WAS ALL.
I ONLY PROMISE YOU MY HEART & I GAVE IT TO YOU WILLING
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TWIST IT OR CHANGE JUST GO THE RIGHT ROAD.
I AM DOING EVERY THING I CAN TO SEE THAT YOU ARE A VERY HAPPY WOMAN.
BY:MR. JERRY BIG PAPA WELLS
AUTHOR
Underclass ; a running box that middles
the center of a (not)living room.
Kidney table; an African girl beams
down into the smoke
an ashtray of burnt souls.
Faces full of thin beer admire
the box lights of the estate,
double binds, grins, hopless rutting.
Far ; the black flat of fields
owls and air, silence.
my life is turnd inside out
i cant take much more thats no doubt
i cut my wrists just to feel the pain
even tho i have nothing good to gain
this hopless life of misery
will surly be the end of me
i breath but im not truly alive
the noise in my head like a buzzing bee hive
i walk and talk but im dead inside
its just like internal suicide
i toss and turn but i cannot sleep
my blackend souls getting harder to keep
the smile you see on my face
is just a fake look to hide disgrace
im broken and hurt but no one cares
its like im being ripped apart by bears
so i sit and write here on my wrist
with a razor blade and a bloody twist
hoping one day itll help you see
how much pain is inside of me
when i say im ok just go away
i want you to say no i want to stay
well its to late now my wrist are slit
so here i am alone i sit
and wait for death to take me to
im sorry love for iv failed you
Sunny was a bunny who didn’t know how to hop.
His brothers and his sisters could, but Sunny just could not.
Every time he tried to hop he just fell upon the floor;
Sunny tried each day and night until he couldn’t try any more.
Sunny’s sisters hopped to school, his brothers hopped there too
Sunny just stayed home all day, what else could a hopless bunny do?
But Sunny’s mother was a bunny who happened to be smart,
And she knew that Sunny was a bunny who had a great big heart.
She said, “Just because all bunnies hop doesn’t mean it’s the only way to go;
You could try to walk or skip or run or maybe even roll.
Just watch the other animals and see how they all get around
And soon you just might find a way to scoot across the ground.”
Now everywhere the bunnies go, Sunny gets there too,
By putting one foot in front of the other, just like me and you.
Not every bunny must do the things every other bunny does,
Was the lesson Sunny Bunny learned from his mother through her love.
head down, lost in time, hunched back
a punching bag sags and won't punch back
the pressure inverts compressing the sand within
stop in your tracks with the flash of the camera lens
trapped in a task fully canvasing
a spot unreachable by an ambulance
dangerous to fight the elements that made you sick
with pain you live the flaring wound gave you this
save you kid but it's only you that may do this
wade through risk and promise it won't make you quit
but at the time you truely focus in
you'll realize happiness is hopless man
cause you've worked so hard to reach the lowest place
now known as the lonely man who won't show his face
the man kept close afraid of any open space
the man showing courage that you know is fake
I always try to run from the confusion
Any escape has become a delusion
When i look down at my heart
I see it torn apart
There is nothing left inside of me
Just broken hearts and pointless dreams
My future becomes all hopless and frayed
The end of me can only be delayed
I've lost all remaining hope
Now i have no way left to cope
Interchangable memories on an old dusty shelf
abandoned and lost in a mirage of my former self
Listliss and dull in spirit, cold blooded at heart
pondering the ways in which I fall apart
Take myself at face-value, or look deep within
Degraded myself in rythm with all of my sin
This plight I find hopless, this plot I find flawed
Is the shadow of death for me to be called
Whether I bleed, of even just if I try
It's in my opinion, it's better I die
Do you think evanescence is truly so bliss
If spoken by the serpant, so cold with a hiss
Take my misfortune, call me a mistake
And leave me alone, if not for pity's sake
I may fear that I'm falling, or maybe failing you see
The only thing I know, is what I hate most is me.
Without you I'm nothing
Without you I'm hopless
Without you I'm depressed
Without you I could never smile again
Without you I dont have anymore faith in me
Without you I feel useless
Without you I fee like I'm not needed anymore
Without you I'm not the me I use to be
Without you I cant laugh
Without you I have no one else to cry on
Without you I have no one else that could understand me
Without you I could be a different person
Without you my heart would be dead
Without you I could never stop this pain
Without you I wouldnt had stopped hurting myself
Without you I would not have anyone else to inspire me
Without you I wouldnt figure out who I really was
Without you I wouldnt have someone to cuddle with
Without you I wouldnt have someone to love and care about
Wihtout you I could never find my happiness
Without you I wouldn't have had a future to live for!
Looking out with apathy as strong as currents from the greatest seas. Destined to roam yet destinies free lost within the symphonic ballad containing all of lives mysteries. Will we ever see what we were ment to be or are we trapped within our self created Fantasy.
Screaming down from up above all of them calling "blood for blood" covering the cries from within being sure to never allow them to win. Within the blink of an eye and the burning within, turning tranquility to violence and violence will spread leaving those who oppose feeling hopless, dead. Suppressed by the sovereignty we are buried by power.In the end it's me,perhaps even we, who must begin to fear what humanuty will grow to be..
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