Henpecked Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member Why Not Rooster Pecked

There is a reason rooserpecked is not a word
And henpecked is not thought to be absurd.

Pet

Pampered and spoiled
Enfeebled, henpecked and
Timid—ha, he's his wife’s pet!

Premium Member Than-Bauk October 8

Not Henpecked

Not shy, this bird.
Beak’s absurdist
beat, stirred my spouse.

Early Appointment

slip on long pants
coolness paints cheeks
car points the way

Silhouettes at Dawn

Sky is pale blue
as pines shoo dark;
their hue - sable-green.

My Nose is Cold

Not cold enough
without puff gasp.
The bluff is called.


Premium Member Bossy Girl Cousins

The girl cousins were in charge of the boys
the boys wanted to stand up but were scared
Girls ordered them about as if they were toys

The GI Joes went to grandpa, their grievances heard
He understood they were in quite a whirl
Henpecked grandpa did as much as he could

Diabolic plan readily unfurls
from the female cousins who taught the males
at an early age to stay away from bossy girls

Premium Member The Devil Inside

Up, up, up you go. Shake a leg. Out you go, lazybones
  -- Aw, come on.  Linger a bit longer.  It's so comfy under the covers...

No! Don't listen to him! You've got places to go, people to meet. Get a move on!
  -- Relax! What's the rush? When you're 97, what will five more minutes matter?

It matters now.  And it'll matter then too! You've already scheduled some appointments.  Your word is on the line here, you know...
  -- Hey, don't panic! Anyone who won't grant you five more measly minutes
      is no friend of yours!

You've really got a choice here: You can be your own boss, or you can be 
      forever henpecked
  -- Yeah, yeah, yeah: Your enemies always trot out the same old tired canards

                                   *******************  
You're not hyper, naive, foolish or just plain 'chicken'
  --  Don't ever let the devil's false, phony narrative kick in

Premium Member Henpecked

HENPECKED

She’s written all over his back:
“Kick me” “loser”
She holds the reigns.
“Whoa… where do you think your going?!”

His children walk over his cobblestone back
With their ten pound clown shoes
Those aching feet whine endlessly:
“Father, I need more money!”

He gallops to the pub
And drinks the dregs of sin.
Spends his own hammer and nails,
They shake in his brown ale.

He returns home when he’s nowhere
Near sober, says his prayers whilst in his coma.
The bed squeaks with all his flaws,
His wife doesn’t feel him at all.

She nails herself to a 10 foot cross
Though she keeps sliding down.
Neither nails nor ropes will keep her.
The children burn the wood in effigy.

“Ring-a-round the roses,” they sing
Trying to fit into each little chair.
The psychiatrist just scratches his chin.
And ka-ching, the sound of alms for him.

Kim Rodrigues © 2017


The Black and White Arms of Justice

Black crime, Justice prevails
Lilly White Crime, no justice hailed

When the crimes of a man weigh more than the crimes of a man, 
Justice has failed

We are all doomed to the broken edge of the gavel when clouds of white nights gale

Forces of guilt driven findings drawn in black man’s plight hammering down excessively to tightly embed black headed nails

Boxes of henpecked shrugging shoulders deliberating measures of one sided balances as a sleeveless gown displays two arms of justice as black and white

A white right arm defended by a two edge sword
A broken black left arm that once kept, law, piece, and order in one accord
Kept the trains of justice from being derailed
And
Upheld the balances of truth on an evenly weighed scale

AC4realpoetry

Has Own Hairdresser

Good Politician
Has a waiting period 
To hear from mother.

Have heard she is one
Running all of his business
And also henpecked.

Women will be best
For being politician
Has own hairdresser.

Jim Horn

Has Been Wrecked

Has Been Wrecked

Many a married life has been wrecked
Because a poor husband was henpecked
And things were then brought to a halt
When wife said it was her husband's fault.

For a while I found myself in or abode
Heard you say I forgot to flush commode
And then when I walked back to my din
I had failed to put up toilet seat again.

Next thing happening I should suppose
Did not fold and put away my clothes
Said my posture was poor and I did pout
Even after I hadn't turned the lights out.

I was certain and so sure without fail
In box is where remained all the mail
Was afraid be her I would be socked
None of the doors were ever locked.

Being a husband what could be worse
Being hit on my head with her big purse 
Looks like all of her spirit I failed to lift
When I forgot to buy her a Christmas gift.

Does any of this sound familiar and is any
of it recognizable? 

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

From Wife Will Get Away

From Wife Will Get Away

Go golfing so from wife will get away
There for a long time do play and stay
Women at home house have wrecked
Because husbands have been henpecked.

Did you do this dear and did you do that?
May hear ring in ears of mortal combat
For your behavior have to be excuser
When you end up looking like a loser.

Patience and prudence apply my friend
So you will start knowing in the end
Tomorrow another big battle will begin
And everything started all over again.

Darling did you take out the trash?
When she said it sounded real brash
And now here comes the really big rub
My dear, I did put trash in the bath tub.

What should be happening as of late
My sense of humor start to appreciate
I went to neighbor's and saw his wife
She has also added henpecking to his life.  

Jim Horn

Sir Harold, Knight

Sir Harold, Knight, the valiant swain
Did call his Lady Nell.
He held her close and kissed her hand
And bade her sweet farewell.

"Forth from here I needs must go
My swainly Lady Nell.
I shall return, my bonny lass
To hear our wedding bell."

"Ignoble lord, I'll wait for you,"
The lady she did say.
"Don't forget my diamond ring;
The wedding's set for May.

"I'd like three chests of herbs and spice
And a blooded horse to ride.
If these you manage Harold, dear,
I'll be a happy bride."

Sir Harold, Knight, the henpecked swain
Did ride upon the wind
That he might fight and battle see
In armor made of tin.

"For Lady Nell," he cried in war,
"For her the fight be won!"
He smote his foe with courage great;
The battle soon was done.

Sir Harold, Knight, the honored swain
Returnéd home to Nell.
He greeted her and she did say,
"Harry, you were swell!"

But Harold, Knight, was two months late,
And Lady Nell had news:
"I waited long as I could wait;
Just call me Lady Hughes."

Sir Harold, Knight, the spurnéd swain,
Did bludgeon Lady Nell.
"I forgot the damnéd diamond ring,
And since she's dead, it's just as well."

Eerie Slimericks

Sue and King were just married 
In the night they were harried 
By the cat and mouse 
In their grave top house 
Where they were freshly buried 

Winter lizards are henpecked 
Don’t trust them if they are baked 
When clock strikes ten at night 
They gather guts to fight 
The fried fleas in the plate caked 

In Eden there was a thief 
He planned to steal Eve’s fig leaf 
He burglarized the house 
Pounced on Adam’s spouse 
And he found a mound of beef

Simon

Simon has been gone a long time 
Does he think we are playing hide and seek
I remember him saying 20 minutes ago 
He was going to take a leak.

I open up the bathroom door 
I can't believe what I see
Simon sitting on the bathroom floor
His trousers around his knee's.

His head bowed over the toilet rim 
Shouting Hughey into the bowl
Are you ok , I ask of him 
but he's busy retching up his soul.

It must have been a virus 
Ha , That's a likely tale 
I don't suppose it has a lot to do 
With downing 8 pints of Yorkshire ale.

The world is spinning round mate 
He begged me to leave him on his own 
Would I call his missus
So she could drive him home . 

I heard him say '' I effing love you''
You're beautiful you are 
Then I heard her snap You drunken prat
Get in the effing car .

I would hate to be in his shoes
This morning when he wakes
Last night his wife looked so angry
I felt the earth around her shake.

She won't ground him forever 
Even henpecked husbands don't get that fate
and in the pub next Friday 
He'll have to face his mates.

The Man of the House

The Man of the House

By Elton Camp

“He who would not be a henpecked fool
Must show his wife that he means to rule”

Tom had heard that saying all his life 
He tried to apply it when he took a wife

He tried the “man of the house” routine,
Running out the back door Tom was seen

Meg had a rolling pin in her hand
“How dare you make such a demand!”

Tom got a large knot on his head
Only a month after he was wed

What might have worked long ago
Made poor Tom have to eat crow

My Barber

My barber on a bicycle looked solved
looked so content 
Henpecked by his wife he used to go
to a cockfight every Sunday of the week
It was his only vice as far as I could tell
He cuts hair He shaves He gives a massage
I sit on his chair for a few minutes and watch
locks fall from my head The crown I wear before breakfast
Someone said I look like a soldier
This means war I suppose
but my barber just sits & waits
with an amused look on his face
sometimes wistful sometimes sad
sometimes worth a penny or more
or a pen so I write him down
as a record of his quiet dignity
like a boulder that glows
in the middle of the night

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