Hemorrhoids Poems - Poems about Hemorrhoids

Bad Bad Bad Bad Sympathy

...Bad Bad Bad Bad Sympathy

I Don't Know What
Periods Are Like
But My Hemorrhoids
Are Really Bad Today!

 TMI

No No No No No No No No No...

Don't Post This Don't Post This
Don't Post This...

Kitschy-Kitschy-Coo

...
   Mona Lisa’s crooked smile	
      on a half-crushed Campbell’s Soup can

   Joe Dimaggio reciting his pronouns uneasily 
      then lowering his batting hand
         into a scalding hot cup...

Everyone nose especially Al R Gee I haint no otolaryngologist

...Everyone nose, especially Al R. Gee, I haint no otolaryngologist

Nonetheless this bard **** 
videre licet punster mocker feels gratitude
courtesy Kaitlyn Gilsenan, PA-C
a moost deal height full...

I feel in fuhrer rated and envious

...I feel in führer rated and envious...

entrapped within webbed wide world
weft as a rump pulled stilts skein
at warp speed exhibiting
my heroic trumpian wiles
cuz he (johnny come lately) a then...

Learning when how to close seat then

...Learning when/how to close seat then...
flush... the toilet with good frisson!

Bull leave me you, though how bison
teen and juvenile 
from a sixty four year old
married male no less!

(alter...

Death By Hemorrhoids

...Here lies James Jacob McInerny
Died of hemorrhoids at forty-three
Sick of something nobody gave,
Scratched himself into an early grave
Nicked his bud while trying to shave.

Everyone Nose I Haint No Otolaryngologist

...Everyone nose, I haint no otolaryngologist

Nonetheless this bard **** feels gratitude
courtesy Laurence V. Cramer, D.O.
without cerumen eye zing
May 17th, 2022 'ere
and thank dog guardian ange...

Why I Loved Cds Poems a Crumb On My Pie Chart

...Abusive soul who tormented my heart
I didn’t wait for us to drift apart
     I found inner strength at last
     So don’t look at me aghast
You’re merely a crumb on my heart’s pie chart

A defu...

Celebrate

...Gifts are personal, subject to one's taste.
Many are perfect, some are thrown away.
Others left unopened; a few are embraced. 

A surprise gift, quite worthy of the wait,
the doctor's diagnosis ...

Would Work All Night

...My happiest days were when fully employed
Those were the days that I really enjoyed
Would work all night
Till the morning light
Though I developed a case of hemorrhoids...

- Good Advice Can Be Confusing -

...He bought a product against hemorrhoids at the pharmacy
               The word alone can do many people wrinkle their noses

             Product information :

             "Should be inserted...

The Doctor Is Out

...Jim's hemorrhoids were hurting him so
 He then went to a doctor named Flo
  With her fingers she probed
 while old Jim was unrobed
 Then Jim yelled out, "Doc, I have to go"

  It was then he st...

Learning When How To Close Seat Then

...Learning when/how to close seat then...
flush... the toilet with good frisson!

(alternately titled long windedly
using lower case letters:
no matter tidily bowled over based
upon real events, ...

Potty Time

...Here I sit all broken hearted.
The loo it braced, but I only farted.
My paper shivered, the walls did shake.
Those darn burritos the wife did bake.

Morning poo time come and gone.
My charmins ...

Onerous Anus Complex Number 2

...cuz poisonous toxins sting like scorpions
severely crimping ability to sit down absorption
radiating throughout every
cell guaranteeing abstention
against hidebound contract, no

ifs, ands, nor...

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