Funny Grandmother Poems | Examples
These Funny Grandmother poems are examples of Grandmother poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Grandmother Funny poems written by international poets.
Grandma Teresina Cavicchio,
best pizza fritta maker
in all of Marianna, PA.
Probably the whole world!
Her fried pizza dough, dusted
with powdered sugar,
bellissima!
Lightly browned outside,
creamy in the inside,
it was the stuff
of mouth-watering dreams.
My three sisters and I
lined up in Nonna’s kitchen, chanted,
“Pizza Fritta, good to eat-a,
give me some, it is a treat-a!”
Her apron white with snowy sugar,
her ample arms coated in flour,
she never failed to please us.
Though I’ll never have Nonna’s
pizza fritta again,
I picture St. Peter and the angels,
powdered sugar moustaches,
greasy lips and beatific smiles,
gathering round Nonna.
"Pizza fritta, good to eat-a,
give us some, a heavenly treat-a."
My grandma once de-skunked a skunk
for reasons I still have not thunk
she knew what to do
without a pee yew
and never the stale air did stunk
Sloth is the deadliest of sins
or so my Grandma told me
But spying me in a book again,
Helpless! She couldn't scold me!
Yum!
Sugars and butter -
cream them together.
White and brown mix ‘round.
Flour, salt, baking powder,
vanilla…fond scent…
add chips, scoop, wait - while they bake.
choc’late chip cookie
broke in half into his cup -
splash of milk in eye
grandma and grandson munching on cookies
our laughs are grand too…splashes
occur in and outside ;)
grandma runs off…he asks:
“are you writing a poem?”
“Of course!” she winks,
as he washes the milk from his eye.
4/6/2022
reverse epulaeryu 1/3/5/5/7/5/7
senryu 5/7/5
kimo 10/7/6
free verse
Grams, She said
don't give me thm dead flowers
plae em by the tree~
Dun giv me no live flowers
Fer they will wilt wit me
Dun giv me naw dead flowers
I wan sumthin alive
Give me sumthin that movin like a sports car
LOL
Do Not Fall Down
Falling down, simply terrific
for the young!
For the elderly, no, as our springs have
indeed, been totally, sprung.
I took a big spill on Halloween,
And now I am known as the Poetess
ala Wheelchair Queen?
Feel like I finished a boxing round with
Mike Tyson.
Me, a pummeled, poetic. baby byson!
11/1/2021
You are funny the child told me.
I take his word for it
Wondering what he sees
that I have missed
You are not like my grandma he says.
I am not sure how to take this
Until he says how mean she is.
Do you have a grandpa?
Yeah. He is grandma’s son.
I ponder this a second.
You mean your mom and you and your three brothers
live with your mother’s grandmother- your great grandmother?
I know they just brought home twin newborns from the hospital.
I would be mean too.
A little old lady named Judy,
Works hard to accomplish her duties.
She cooks and she cleans,
Runs errands, makes things,
For friends and for family outings.
Sometimes her arthritis flares up.
She can barely pick up a cup;
But she's no cry baby,
She's one tough old lady.
A hot bath and a pill and she's up.
She'll finish the job 'fore she'll stop.
She loves life and she lives it a lot.
She'll keep going full tilt,
Until she gets kilt,
Or she runs out of gas and just drops.
Flickered fingers;
Can't dial ringers;
Telephone calls;
Babies cry and crawls;
what do you do?
what do you do?
When their diapers fall?...
6/8/20
written words by James Edward Lee Sr.©2020
There was an old lady
who lay in the clay
It hardened like concrete
so there she will stay.
She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.
Beyond her face
was the most amazing sun
I never saw
For I was too struck by her freckles and the
way her hands moved fast and furiously as she
snapped beans or rolled out noodle dough
Beyond her hair
were the loveliest clouds
I never noticed
For I was too busy listening to her stories
clever and funny. They made me laugh
Full out
Beyond her
I saw nothing else
For she was my world
My grandmother, the one who loved me the most.
Opening the nesting doll was an ache
Overturning it and began to shake
Was all full of dirt
Got all over my shirt
It was the urn of grandma, my mistake
Conversation with my four-year-old grandson Max.
“I cannot throw the ball one more time, Max. I am old.”
He glares at me. “No, you’re not.”
“I am. I really am.”
I throw the ball ten more times.
“I mean it Max, I have to stop. I am tired. I have a cough.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes, I really do.”
He comes closer and looks at me hard.
I try to cough, putting myself into an explosive coughing fit.
He gives a couple of fake coughs.
We stare at each other.
“I’ve had my cough for three whole weeks, “ I tell him.
“How long have you had your cough?”
Brown eyes look at me closely. “Sixty-eight weeks,” he says smoothly.
I keep throwing the ball.
So I had to tell her to BLEEP off, Grandma.
She is fourteen, as of forty-six hours ago.
I am shocked.
I wisely decide to give her some Grandmotherly advice.
Me: Were there witnesses?
Molly: No.
Me: Did anyone have their I-phone out?
Molly: One, but I chased her down and smacked it out of her hand and hit delete.
I reported this conversation to my husband who rolled his eyes
And asked, “How is your Mini-Me?"