Funny Grandmother Poems | Examples
These Funny Grandmother poems are examples of Grandmother poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Grandmother Funny poems written by international poets.
Grandma Teresina Cavicchio,
best pizza fritta maker
in all of Marianna, PA.
Probably the whole world!
Her fried pizza dough, dusted
with powdered sugar,
bellissima!
Lightly browned outside,
creamy in the inside,
it was the stuff
of mouth-watering dreams.
My three sisters and I
lined up in Nonna’s kitchen, chanted,
“Pizza Fritta, good to eat-a,
give me some, it is a treat-a!”
Her apron white with snowy sugar,
her ample arms coated in flour,
she never failed to please us.
Though I’ll never have Nonna’s
pizza fritta again,
I picture St. Peter and the angels,
powdered sugar moustaches,
greasy lips and beatific smiles,
gathering round Nonna.
"Pizza fritta, good to eat-a,
give us some, a heavenly treat-a."
Alright everyone, quiet please!
May I tell a tale, I have the perfect story!
Well then sit....cause I'm going to....
Pull up a chair, or on the floor, that will do.
I'm elderly now as things are reckoned,
and I may just forget in the next second.
So hurry up! Find a seat. Be quiet and listen…
I'll begin when I have your full attention.
Bring me some water to wet my whistle.
I sure do get dry when I say a mouth full.
Thank you, my boy! Hey, are you my grandson?
Well, quickly, sit down since I haven't begun.
Where is the girl who made these treats?
I'll just have one while you settle your seats.
A cup of tea would not go a miss…
the bitter with sweet is hard to resist.
Now as I was saying…what was that my dear?
Let me turn up this aide so I can hear.
Tell you a story?
That's why your all sittin’ round me?
Well I'll have to think of one…now, let me see…”
A V.I.P, Our Queen you see. There will never be anyone else quite like her.
Always dressed in her Absolute best, nothing more and nothing less.
Her absolute favourite was M&S.
Not a hair out of place, or lack of smile upon her face.
Everywhere she went, Our nana radiated beauty, elegance and grace.
Our Nana was a hero, Sweet but Stern,
Funny but Firm, Small and Mighty,
Terrific and Tiny.
A force to be reckoned with I think you would all agree, Zooming around with her frame Ever so hastily!
Throughout the years there were ups and downs, Our nana got up and straightened her crown.
An inner strength I most admired, Our nana's time came and she grew tired.
We tucked her in and said Goodnight, your wings are ready, you can stop this fight.
We will all be okay and take care of our Mum, go to Grandpa now Our nana, go and live another lifetime of fun.
"A grandma is someone who plays a special part in all the treasured memories we hold within our heart."
- Unknown
My grandma used to sing aloud
With a sweet voice, she was endowed
Clapping her hands, she used to praise
With a loud voice, praying always
My grandma used to smile a lot
I remember her on her cot
She loved to eat bananas ripe
And chocolates of any type
My grandma used to love us all
She loved to give us presents small
Sometimes toffee, sometimes money
She was the sweetest and funny
My grandma loved my dad so much
She had the softest wrinkled touch
She had a memory so sharp
Spreading God's love, she was His harp
My grandma is in heaven now
No more pain or a troubled brow
Someday soon, I will meet her there
What a hope! Such joy we will share!
23rd February 2023
For Constance La France's "Writing challenge - G words" contest
Topic chosen : Grandma
My grandma once de-skunked a skunk
for reasons I still have not thunk
she knew what to do
without a pee yew
and never the stale air did stunk
as if she knew kids were not around,
she got up the board, without a sound.
statuesque, she surfs with ease,
self-taught hun, she aims to please,
her younger self, would've won a crowd.
14 July 2022
Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Lisa YY
99779 syllable count
Sloth is the deadliest of sins
or so my Grandma told me
But spying me in a book again,
Helpless! She couldn't scold me!
Yum!
Sugars and butter -
cream them together.
White and brown mix ‘round.
Flour, salt, baking powder,
vanilla…fond scent…
add chips, scoop, wait - while they bake.
choc’late chip cookie
broke in half into his cup -
splash of milk in eye
grandma and grandson munching on cookies
our laughs are grand too…splashes
occur in and outside ;)
grandma runs off…he asks:
“are you writing a poem?”
“Of course!” she winks,
as he washes the milk from his eye.
4/6/2022
reverse epulaeryu 1/3/5/5/7/5/7
senryu 5/7/5
kimo 10/7/6
free verse
Grams, She said
don't give me thm dead flowers
plae em by the tree~
Dun giv me no live flowers
Fer they will wilt wit me
Dun giv me naw dead flowers
I wan sumthin alive
Give me sumthin that movin like a sports car
LOL
They snuggled, wrestled, patted, hugged, slept and ate together.
Growing from babies to toddlers in all kinds of weather.
We brought out this photo and our daughter stared with horror.
You are as bad as the grandma who lives next door!
This is unhealthy, despicable, awful, terribly unclean.
The cat on her lap gave me a feline stare that was mean.
When you were little, it was the only way you would eat.
We thought it was hilariously funny, and kind of sweet.
MOM! She said, I am a doctor; this is unclean and bad.
She truly is the prissiest child that we ever had.
Her daughter got on the floor and shared a dish with our dog.
I made a flying leap toward her, looking like a spastic erratic frog.
What are you trying to cover up? Ms. Persnickety asked.
Let’s have a drink! Yelled my husband, taking out a wine flask.
We did not want to be limited to the time we could see her babe.
She might be a doctor, but she is not as nice as our older son Abe.
Do Not Fall Down
Falling down, simply terrific
for the young!
For the elderly, no, as our springs have
indeed, been totally, sprung.
I took a big spill on Halloween,
And now I am known as the Poetess
ala Wheelchair Queen?
Feel like I finished a boxing round with
Mike Tyson.
Me, a pummeled, poetic. baby byson!
11/1/2021
You are funny the child told me.
I take his word for it
Wondering what he sees
that I have missed
You are not like my grandma he says.
I am not sure how to take this
Until he says how mean she is.
Do you have a grandpa?
Yeah. He is grandma’s son.
I ponder this a second.
You mean your mom and you and your three brothers
live with your mother’s grandmother- your great grandmother?
I know they just brought home twin newborns from the hospital.
I would be mean too.
There once was a girl named Red,
Whose grandma was sick in bed.
She packed up some goodies,
Put on her red hoody,.
And made haste before Granny was dead.
Now Granny lived in the woods,
So Red skipped as fast as she could.
A wolf blocked her path,
So she gave into wrath,
And pummeled the beast where it stood.
Red hastened to her destination,
But to her great consternation,
The wolf had survived,
And subsequently arrived,
And was waiting with much anticipation.
Granny was sitting up in bed,
As she saw the wolf approach Red.
The wolf said "I'm ready to eat",
Granny said, "I'm packing heat",
Then proceeded to fill him with lead.
The wolf was a problem no more,
Which thrilled Red and Granny to the core.
Now Granny, she got well,
And everything turned out swell.
Their story became a part of folklore.
7/13/21
Collata is my daughter’s daughter
And she barely knows me.
They have lived too far away.
I am having a day with her finally.
She is six, beautiful, and funny.
We eat sandwiches and have a great morning.
In the afternoon she wants to wander in my garden.
I hesitate only because I have not shared it for a long time.
Collata dances along delighted, spotting bees, wasps,
Laughing at grasshoppers, excited about the marigolds.
She begins to dance in the cone flowers.
She wants to make a garland out of them.
I show her how, and we sit together, joking and smiling.
I have not had a day like this for a long time.
There is a honk. Her mother is back.
She pops the garland on her head and begins to dance.
My daughter comes over and puts her arm on my shoulder.
I knew you would be so good for her, Mom.
I have not seen her smile like this for a long time.
My granddaughter laughs, prancing around.
I feel sad that her daddy has passed,
But so glad that her mother trusted me
With part of her recovery. I hold my daughter for a long time.
And we watch her little faerie girl dance and laugh.
A little old lady named Judy,
Works hard to accomplish her duties.
She cooks and she cleans,
Runs errands, makes things,
For friends and for family outings.
Sometimes her arthritis flares up.
She can barely pick up a cup;
But she's no cry baby,
She's one tough old lady.
A hot bath and a pill and she's up.
She'll finish the job 'fore she'll stop.
She loves life and she lives it a lot.
She'll keep going full tilt,
Until she gets kilt,
Or she runs out of gas and just drops.