We suspected as much before we saw their wedding cake
With the bride raising the groom in the air, our friend Lake
Lake laughed uncomfortably, being embarrassed a tiny bit.
I was kind of hoping that this guy would not go through with it.
But they got married, and she spun him around.
She was the bossiest woman he could have ever found.
We heard a bit later that Lake went underground.
I figured out where he was, but he made not a sound.
What time is it
I can't be too late
but I'm not too sure I can go through with it
My hands are shaking
and I'm a walking sweat machine
I'm so nervous
I can't hide it
it's written on my face
yet I can't wait till the right moment
when the right moment is now
yet I can't wait till faith in myself reawakens
I can only hope faith starts flooding in
when I start walking across the hall
I have said courage is all I have to my name
but courage is unknown waters to me
and I am in a boat without a paddle to help guide me
To say, to say I can get through this un-afraid
well I'd be lying
but I have to try, I have to try
even if I have to use my arm as an oar
I say I'm a bore
but I can't lose this moment
can't lose this chance
don't tell me the time
I don't need to keep it in mind
that I only have this once chance...
I'm standing over the edge
taking my last breath...before I retreat
back to safety, back to uncertainty
Why am I hesitant, scared
I said it, believed it, punctuated it
decided to go through with it
yet...I'm still here
Why am I still alive...
at the top of my lungs I shout
"WHY AM I STILL ALIVE?!"
Everyday I'm suffering, choking on apathy
suffocating on insults and failed plans
losing parts of me never to get back
The longer I remain here, the longer pain wins
but what else can I do when no relief can become of this
what can be done when tactics prove futile
and it proves easier to implode
So teeter over the edge I must
debating to take the fall
so I spin around and slip back
just to end it all
asking for my guardian angel
to not even break my...
though it's my own hand through closed eyes
that grabs another in protest...
...why am I still alive...
The answer to my own question...
I don't want to die...
Gonna do the smart thing
And play stupid
Gonna outwit that fat little boy
Named cupid
Tired of meddling
With the Rubik's cube of love
Sometime you gotta say screw it
Live life
Live through the pain
Go through with it
Stay true to it
So do the smart thing and play stupid.....
At least with love
On my knees
Begging for more of her drugs
More of her hugs
I don't need anymore of her love just lust
Okay God you did it
Once again I saw your hand at work
But it is not enough God
You will have to say that you want it
Before I will go through with it
Because I don’t want to do it
If you don’t want it
There is just no way I will take on that
If you are not behind me
Or is it in front of me?
I can do a lot of things
But I definitely cannot do it
If You don’t want it
So You will just have to say
I know you are going to tell me
Look me in the eye, heart
And you will see hollowness and anger
But if you stare at me in the mirror
You will see an absolute cloud of nothing
I bite my lips hard and focus on the girl before me
She is not laughing with the rest of them
She seems to be waiting for someone . . . something
It is as if she knows something is going to happen
The strange feeling must be coming over her
But what can she do?
My head pulsates in the sounds of her screaming
I want to make this fantasy a reality
How long must I wait in the shadows?
My hands fiddle with the sharp blade
As music booms in the background
But then something comes over me
Something tells me to stop
That if I go through with it I will regret it
And the weird thing is, I listen
I listen to the voice—I acknowledge it
But I cannot let the opportunity slip from my fingers
She was everything to me . . .
She took everything and crumbled me away
She left me in the shadows alone
And now she must pay
I have to go through with it
I cannot pass this up
The ache will never leave until it is done
I will wait . . . wait until people leave
"Violent Acts of Rage"
Written by: Rodney Riggins
Power within to demolish what's
in front of you tearing away what's
been inside you for years. The beast is
alive because your soul has died
and your hatred takes control of you.
Killing is so easy America display
it for action and you wonder why
there's murder while others do it
for satisfaction.
Some may have been beaten on
molested or bullied some may
have wanted to be violent but
didn't understand it fully. What's to
understand when your pissed you
want others to feel your pain some
use drugs to go through with it
they use this as the blame.
Me myself have Violent Acts of Rage
I'm no different than real killers
I just sympathize what they go through
to them it's easy to pull the trigger.
I blame no one for my thoughts
because they are mine I create many
obstacles before me it's just only
a matter of time.
Anger creates chaos murder is
death we all have thought of
violence but haven't reached
that step. It's easy to raise hell
and say what your going do action
speaks louder than words when it's
your turn what will you do?
I was going to jump on the bed at midnight
While she slept to wish her a happy birthday.
But she looked so asleep and it was so quiet.
I did it anyway because it's funnier to go through with it.
It's not like I'm throwing a nerf ball at her head.
So I get my knees on the bed and hop up-and-down
And "whisper-yell," "happy birthday happy birthday."
And she's not upset, in fact, she's giggling.
And she whispers to me that she loves me.
I whisper to her that I love her, too.
And I leave the room with the bed
I just jumped and sang on.
And I'm 32.
I mean it's not like I fell off the bed
While jumping and hurt my head.
And made an owie.
I'm not 5.
Are you sure you still want to do it?
We can back out if you want to
just say the word
I know you’re scared, so am I
please tell me you’re having second thoughts
please tell me, we don’t have to go through with it…
Maybe they’ll let us stay together if they see
how much we love each other
we don’t have to do this…
Is there any guarantee we’ll be together in the afterlife?
Only one way to find out he said…
“I’ll count to three and then we’ll jump together,
hold on tightly” he yelled, it sounded more like a whisper
as the wind was swirling and almost threw me off balance…
I have been through a lot
trying a lot of stuff
I have tried to take my life
didn't work
I couldn't go through with it
don't know why
I have tried several times
but never succeeded
I realized I had too much to lose
I still think about it
I just don't understand why
I have lost alot in my life
sometimes I ask myself
what am I doing
and why
I still don't know why.
An empty tunnel, no entrances or exits.
My one thought, how do I get back near you.
No windows, no doors, no air holes and yet I live.
Where am I, will someone find me.
These thought are nothing compared to one.
Where are you, are u ok.
And yet I think, I am stuck forever.
No one will find me, they won’t know where to look.
As time passes, one word sticks in my mind, Suicide.
For I will surely die here anyway, so why hold up the inevitable.
And wait, I see a sharp stone, just waiting to be picked up.
I grab it, tear at the shirt I am wearing, exposing skin.
I raise the stone, thinking I will see you in heaven.
I lower the stone with all my strength……………………………………………………
I look up, I thought I heard a sound, maybe your voice.
That’s it, I can’t go through with it.
As long as I hear your voice, I will wait.
Suicide might be the painless way, but your voice is the sweeter.
I had decided to go through with it
and this time it was serious
not just another
melodramatic episode
brought on by events
that were beyond
my control
this was the real thing
a calm calculated decision
I had taken care of outstanding debts
paid up bills, ran errands
mowed the lawn
and fixed a leaking tap
words are subject to interpretation
and could never adequately express
what I really wanted to say
so I didn't leave a note
I locked myself in the garage
stuck a length of hose up the exhaust
got in and closed the door
I sat there chocking on fumes
when suddenly the car conked out
looking at the instrumentation panel
I couldn't believe my eyes
out of all the stupid mistakes I'd made
this was surely the best
sitting there like a complete idiot
holding onto the steering wheel
would you believe
I'd ran out of gas
* penned by
Scarecrow Joe