I was thrown backwards after
submitting my poem rapture
the system posted it five times
oh well my funny valentines
hilarious mischief again felt
like i was in front of a raging
shooting range killing me softly
when we would know which
had been a hitch with a stitch
ending up with glitch
I received soup mail from a trusted poet friend
asking if he'd written something that did offend
Of course, he never could
And then I understood
But return mail to him? I was not allowed to send
That's the frustrating message I got when I clicked
Yeah, that was very upsetting. Yeah, I was ticked!
Yet another PS glitch
Isn't that (can't type the rhyme) ;)
I didn't try because I'm sure I'd have gotten kicked (off)
The only viable solution that came to mind
Is one that many of us has heretofore defined
Admin, can you flip a switch
So, mail sends without a hitch?
Please fix this problem, if you would be so kind???
I had to ask another friend to message him for me
He was happy to help, but said, "This should not be."
That's true and it's a drag
to nag 'bout the mailbag
But blocking a poet through a glitch is crappy.
Others dealt with this. Does it happen by default?
It's not my doing, and surely not my friend's fault
We're both really annoyed
We might need Siggy Freud
It's time that these vexing glitches come to a halt
The Soup is playing tricks on me
Or I am losing what is left
On my grasp on reality
And WhatsHisName’s committed theft.
Time and again, I write a verse,
Submit it to a contest next,
Return to find it gone, or worse,
Imagine holes in my cortex.
I know I’ve goofed a time or two,
I might go high as three or four,
But, Soup, you’ve got a glitch in you
And it’s not one that I adore.
Abecedarian I am,
But steady at this game of late,
By double-check, careful exam
To see my poem through the gate.
On my return on the next day,
I’ll check to see if it’s still there,
And, nope, appears it’s gone away;
A real pain in the derrière.
It’s probably some kind of sign:
Eschew the contests and just write,
But is this problem only mine,
Or have you also had this fight?
Because of a tiny glitch
Inside a wet south side ditch
A minuscule germ, Mitch
Had an incredible itch
His voice had an uphill pitch
With a lilt that was rich
His oldest friend named Fritz
Told me that Mitch was a ditz
Mitch and Fritz fixed up the ditch
It attracted a whacky witch
Whose sense of humor with a stitch
Delighted the deliriously decorated ditch
Santa the Sinner crossed the Covid line,
With PPE rules he did not comply.
Cookies and milk were swapped, his ample appetizer,
He gobbled up the mask and drank the sanitizer!
For reckless misdemeanor he was fined.
At that point poor Santa’s short fuse blew,
Pandemic? Global? Covid? What! Says WHO?
I ran present production all year from dusk to dawn,
The ones you truly wish for, not bought on Amazon!
No crazy Covid protocols I knew!
December 7, 2020
Growing Glitch in Moscow Mitch
What we found was a growing glitch,
That would appear in Moscow Mitch;
Chews his cud;
Real dumb dud,
Then it tight together he must stitch.
Jim Horn
Itch, Twitch, Glitch, Witch
In the middle of my back
I have an annoying itch;
It wakes me up at midnight
With a relentless twitch;
A glitch -my arms are just too short
To reach this little itch;
Maybe in a book of spells,
A remedy by a witch,
That can end the agony
Of my little itch.
Last night, riding across a full moon I saw a witch,
that funny move she made was a twitch.
Maybe her move was just really an itch,
the wooden broom she was riding on looked like a switch.
Could what I was seeing be a glitch,
my new binoculars must be on the fritz.
Date: 10/27/2019
My first spreadsheet went without a hitch
I'm delighted with everything I’d achieved,
but my new computer develops a glitch -
I'm distraught and feel very aggrieved!
My spreadsheet file has just disappeared,
my hubby Peter hears my loud scream
A fatal system error is worse than I feared -
is this the end of my ‘excel’lent scheme?
I ask my hubby what can he do
as I recount my terrible tale;
I cuss until the air turns blue
pounding all keys, but to no avail
He sits me down with a cup of tea,
and Valium to help me calm down;
but sadly all my hubby can see
the ‘screen of death’ in orangey brown
It‘s then I admit what the file was for -
a kcal counter to help us lose weight,
so I’m heading off to the candy store;
my spreadsheet glitch, I'll put down to fate!
Itch, witch, glitch or twitch Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Nina Parmenter
10/21/19
Itch, witch, glitch or twitch not me which witch?
Dark mystic nights, shines so ever bright,
malignant supernatural prows,
Woman practicing familiar skills
Bewitching in out of darkest night
Awakens harlots journey arouse
Mixing potions grounding bone hawks-bill's
Itch, witch, glitch or twitch not me which witch?
Samantha Stevens, bewitching nose,
Administered her power her, twitch
A dinkle-dinkle-dink her nose goes,
Aunt Clara a witch whose witchcraft’s glitch
Itch, witch, glitch or twitch not me which witch?
Darkness surrounds the light just lit and…
all the creepy things that bumps and bites
Itch, witch, glitch or twitch not me which witch
10/17/19
Itch, witch, glitch or twitch Poetry Contest
Rhyme poetry form only.
Sponsored by: Nina Parmenter
In the blackest of nights, like tar so thick
time tangled into a bewitching twist
as hours faltered in starts and fits
minutes and seconds lost their wits
and tumbled into a frightening glitch.
A black hole swallowed the grid of time
glitches of past and future timelines
history was swept into a vortex mine
panic reigned, an apocalyptic sign
while the universe fled, never more to shine.
Written on 10/15/2019
I am a rare old bird of age
Born much before the dreaded glitch
The earth was calm and I a sage
Well on my way to one man's rich
Just then from nowhere came the light
As man obtained computing skill
And, oh, the things he built were right
For old and young and are so still
But now and then a fault occurred
Whose blame is yet to be laid bare
So 'glitch' was named though never heard
Before the birth of this hardware
And as computers came to be
The years went by and glitches grew
A small malfunction as you see
But as to reason not a clue
If you can fix a real live glitch
Then it was not a glitch to start
And when grown men have hit that hitch
Sometimes the horse comes off the cart
10-15-19
Contest: Itch, Witch, Glitch or Twitch
Sponsor: Nina Parmenter
An itch, a glitch and a terrible twitch
These are the ailments of a terrible witch
As she took to her broom abound for the sky
That itch in her knickers took her too high
She started to twitch as her nerves they were shattered
As she fell to the ground her broom lay scattered
That's whats she gets when her spells are all wrong
These ailments she has are all pretty strong
The Poor witch she is not very good
Took to her bed without any food
As she woke in the morning it was just Halloween
Then she remember it was all just a dream.
15/10/19
Sponsor Nina Parmenter
Here's a switch,
There is no glitch;
All is as was meant to be.
Ever changing seasons,
Always night or day,
And no mind of Humanity.
Some think it a glitch
That there is no switch,
No way to exercise control;
But that's no glitch you see,
For humans could never agree
On answers for Mankind as a whole.
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