Our Nordic God run roughshod by the cynics
Mimics all those skeptics & pundits in pulpits
Sod odd bod critics clinics their unfair optics
Hysterics but Bazball clerics are not yet relics
Despite batting lapse alright collapse specifics
The insult not horrific result of cult’s gimmicks
Got it wrong will still sing same mesmeric song lyrics
Twits witticisms & criticisms taken a toll…troll gits
Shaken has Bazball forsaken its soul..drole misfits
No more stealth or self control just abysmal skits
Dismal death roll rigmarole gambits whole Bazball in bits?
On the dole or run rate wealth in rude health call it quits
Flits their way to play their flair hits as prole media spits
Grandstand Baz Ben stable fable big band brand label fits
Aussies canned.. gawking Larrikin ti*s balking..its the pits
Goal corking victory at the Gabba hoodoo fortress venue
Folks blabber talking of Stokes blokes stalking voodoo
Oz jibber jabber fibber distress as we made history..phew
Yes JuJu mystery temptress played express Yabba Dabba Doo!
Their ma & pa were Eastenders
Blah blah..don’t remember the Blitz
Brash Cockney pretenders..same flash apparel
Let's get our mitts on a stash of Aperol spritz
Dimwits just going on benders
Bawdy tawdry mockney skits
Gits getting off their t*ts
Twits showing off their bits
Who fits?..Identikit Brits..pout
All about the clout of gaudy glitz
Silhouettes of stiletto dancers & handbags
Riff raff as naff as an 80’s cornetto
Perms & permatans..sl*gs..fancy dans in glad rags
Rhyming slang falsetto twang libretto
Chancers on a stag..s*ag nip & tuck hags
Nags of WAGS made up to the nines
Brag after cocaine lines did blag
One snag..look like a dag in drag
All from the fashion label stable
No restraint.. cannot refrain
Grandstand the brands fable
Diadora diaspora ..Fila Villa
With a Pierre Cardin Jardin
Taint just like they do in Spain
Sex..success…the way you dress
Prosecco fizz...getting in a tizz
Gilded specs and builded pecs
Greed and that need to impress
Avoid don't feed this schadenfreude hell
That is indeed called Costa Del ESSEX
but there is more of us.
Pull out ever Tick
Four letters
..nickname of royal prince
….P…..E…..then something ….O
Doh the clue
America seriously I wish we could help
but we have our own Loonies to deal with
What rhymes with finesse
Every lioness
I think I would have been a great God
……well above average
I mean you say you can’t see him
2000 odd years ago all he could burn was a bush
Look at him know
And his son hasn’t left the house since
well we did put nails in him
Does a Jesus wig get made with criss cross hairs
We should start a trend
Guessing which sexual law
By which actor
While the director took a back handed
I would give dogs 10 lives
Ha cats you only have 9
One more word dog and it’s going to single
Dig gits they make me s………..
for at least a mile
What if there is nothing left to fix
My stare can look like a glare
But trust me I might be a wear/where/wer
wolf over there
Watch I ensnare
Arming every bear
Watch the flare
Bboy in the air
Only lacking
the ability
to
care.
Australians all let us raise our voice
For we were young and free
This makes my blood boil on my own soil
Our home is encircled by airlines
Our land abounds with political gits
Of no beauty, or rarity
In history's page let every stage
Advance Australia unfair.
emperors run empires
kingdoms are for royalty
religion owned by paedophiles
and numpties run the countries
democracy is a mockery
communists and conning tricks
socialists are emotionalists
and dictators are just total pricks
people need controlling
but never trust control
conspiracies are interesting
what do cover ups up hold
a story just to past the time
yet some commit and pick a side
others say they're out their mind
nit picking their twisted find
belief in God or not a God
always seeks a closure
and then one day just like that
your clucking life is over
a stupid slab stands in the ground
this is where your corpse is found
athletic, thin or somewhat round
once made noise to not a sound
and everything is stuck and spoiled
rotting deep beneath the soil
at least you're not a lobster....
those poor gits get gutting boiled
gutted before their gutted
destined for your hungry gut
you'll see your day disrupted
as they erupt out of your butt
some call it a miracle
the part we play is miniscule
destined as a particle
i think life is fart-cical
Cookie, fire-up yer chuck wagon 'cause th' round-up is begun!
Us cowpokes is gonna cull th' herd frum dawn to th' settin' sun!
We is gonna supply you wid th' cookin's fer our chuck tonight;
Heaps uv good ol' Rocky Mountain oysters broiled fer our delight!
It'll be a hot an' dusty trail as we drive 'em frum th' chaparral,
An' herd them cantankerous kine fer brandin' in th' ol' corral!
It'll take a heap uv sweat an' a lot uv cussin' to git 'em movin', alright,
But it'll be worth it, 'cause we is feedin' on Rocky Mountain oysters tonight!
Usin' our cuttin' hosses we'll rope an' wrestle th' bulls to th' ground.
There we'll brand an' neuter 'em as they beller an' kick around!
We'll be bruised an' kicked fer little pay but that'll be alright,
'Cause we is gonna enjoy a feast uv Rocky Mountain oysters tonight!
Us cowboys works hard wid little pay rollin' 'round in th' manure,
Convertin' bulls into steers; that's more'n them city fellers could endure!
But that's okay, 'cause at round-up time we gits a special treat;
Tonight we is gonna enjoy a feast uv Rocky Mountain oysters to eat!
(Being a song for misanthropes, or people who have just had a really bad day.)
I hate the world and everyone in it,
I hate the world and everyone here,
I hate the world and everyone in it,
I hate, yes, I hate the world.
I hate the world and the busy-bodies,
I hate their words, they’re so full of crap,
nothing but sound with no wisdom in it,
I’ve hear more than enough crap.
I hate the world and all the dang hipsters,
pretentious bands and unruly beards,
I hate those fools downing in irony,
and I really hate their beer.
I hate the world and its politicians,
lying scum-bags, power-hungry gits,
they do nothing but get in a man’s way,
I’m so tired of their sh-t.
I hate the world and all the damn hippies,
socialist fools detached from the world,
say they want peace but kill if they’re questioned,
their smell make me wanna hurl.
I hate the world and those dumb professors,
in their tower they can’t see how things are,
turning our kids to socialist zombies,
doomed to not go very far.
Ugh…what a world, am I right?
Hey, wait—here comes my German Shepherd!
I love the world and all the dogs in it…
Shush...DIDN'T I TELL YAWL TA BE QUIET
Be quiet, hush now;
Says the Librarian;
Mama says “Shush! Do you want to wake everyone?”
Toddler mocks mama shushes every one else;
What's the rush;
Grandma says you better hush;
Utterance of “shush” the thumps were followed by;
More hushes and shushes and yawl better B quiet from the aunts';
Gits a switch from out the yard;
Now ya hear a soft swishing or rustling sound;
Shush;
Gittin yo buttocks whipped;
What ya rush;
And you bet not cry;
Been tellin ya to be quiet so now
Shush;
SHo?oSH, SH?SH!
9/12/18 ©2018
For Shush...Did You Hear That? Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Anthony Slausen
Waggery waggery a blown-up man
He was so fidgety when I was ten
He tossed up his head to make good his wager
He wanted to be a Sergeant but became a badger
And bully-ragged Harry our village mailman.
Waggery waggery galloping down the road
Punched through the ice and smashed into a toad
The toad was mad enough to chew his hats
Boozed up full whack as he had lost his bets
His plan was utterly bitterly flawed.
Waggery waggery not qualified for the job
'Just a blip', he said when attacked by a mob
Then he built a hut and stashed his wife in pits
Shook his head, 'good or bad?''Them as has, gits'
Went to my house at X'mas eve like blob.
Pure Childlike Fun and Enthusiasm Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Caren Krutsinger
DOE: 21st June, 2018
Winter gives some wildlife a rest,
But most birds are put to a test.
Most do try, most do their best.
Kingfishers migrate to the coast.
Rivers freeze, can no longer host
Birds can feed on crumbled toast,
But prefer wild bird seed the most.
Peanuts, preferred by most ****.
Wild mammals, feed them bits,
Of what you think their diet fits.
Grey squirrels just greedy gits.
Badgers, foxes, and stray cats.
Winter hibernators, like all bats,
Reptiles, amphibians, more facts.
Have built-in automatic thermostats.
Spring approaching, warm sun.
Winter almost over, almost done.
Cock birds singing, for a mate, a mum.
They'll help it to feed their young.
Winter gives some wildlife a rest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Entered in 'Rhyme Time III', sponsored by Laura Loo
When life gets to hard to stand
All you need is a helping hand
Don't be afraid
Don't be dismayed
just git on your knees and pray
When life gets to hard to stand
All you need is a helping hand
Oh! Lord yes
And you need to, need to, well confess
When life gits to hard to stand
When life gits to hard to stand
When life gits to hard to stand
KNEEL
oh, oh yeah
When life gets to hard to stand
Cause you've walked, walk this land
Don't be scared
Don't be mislead
just git on your knees and pray O yeah, yeah
When life gits to hard to stand
When life gits to hard to stand
When life gits to hard to stand
KNEEL
oh, oh yeah
When life gits to hard to stand
When life gits to hard to stand
When life gits to hard to stand
KNEEL
YES! Lord
written words & arranged music by
James Edward Lee Sr.
SNAIL
I love my cool wheelchair to bits.
But when I get married it fits
to walk down the aisle,
it may take a while...
by then they're all snoring, the gits!
***
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE LIMERICK CONTEST
sponsor: Jan Allison
October 13, 2016
Katurday and Iz plazs wit mee talky kat,
Ohs, hooman, it go away, me ballz;
Don't be stoopit, you gits itz oks,
Iz not fit under that bigz chairees.
Hay, Iz not fat, Iz jst fluffy,
PLZ, I is sad, sad, sadz, look at meeze;
Gets me da ball oks and I plazs happi wit uz,
Iz lizd . . . the ballz eez all minz . . .
_______________________
March 13, 2016
Poetry/Spoonerisms/Katurday Wit Mee Kat
Copyright Protected, ID 16-767-810-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Mary, Mary
Mary, Mary, where yall be
Behind the shed I see
Sitting on a bucket
Two shakes and blow
Snakes eyes rolls
Mary, Mary, where yall be
Gosh darn, dang it
Wrestling with Billy
over a piece of watermelon
One lick to the eye
cheek swell , black eye
Mary, Mary, where yall be
I havn’t got a lick of work out of yall
dern tootin, when I gits yall ,
Yall find yourself in a heap of trouble
Yall britches won’t have
a Sears and Roebuck book
© Eve Roper 4/21/2015
Aussie Flag o the Convict spawn
Under this flag we fought for sure,
defending Pommy gits and more,
defending of our nation,
in murderous situations,
tween Afghans and the Boer...
we'd run it up the old flagpole,
fluttered there our heart and soul,
the Aussies are on station,
the convict spawn relation,
adventure is our goal,
you step on us we will step on you,
careful how you treat us blue,
right cross to the snotter too,
in a stirry situation,
the Aussies and the Kiwis saw,
that we were cannon fodder for,
pommy overlords of nations,
respect for them no never when,
we spearheaded Tobruk and Alamein,
less pommy casualties to frame,
colonial extermination...
Don Johnson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACFGr3G1In8
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