The Pigeons of Thoughts
The pigeons of thoughts fly in joy
only to settle on the ground.
My heart beats with joy like a child
to scare the pigeons,
to see I am in control.
The sun watches my childish play.
It is a witness to my rise and fall,
very much like the pigeons.
I capture the scene
and imprison them in my mobile.
So do my thoughts,
which fly high
and come back within me.
Written by
Suresh M Iyer
Inside the outside of everything
Colors conform to retreat
I seek not what is lost or gained
I only seek the truth or fiction
Inside the Outside of all
I stumble against the wall of remorse
And in the distance of morning or nightide
I see the truth as gospel or not
Colors bleed into morning or night
Like the dharma of dawn reborn
I see the raven flying or hanging
On a rope-ladder to the moon and back
I am dead but hopeful of life
In all the usual places or not
I am dead and only now
glimpse the truth
Nothing is better beneath the heavens
There are no words to describe
How beautiful her little dress is
With tiny red roses
Just over the knees .... silk
And gently just as... my hand touches her skin
Fluttering, by a gentle breeze
Dear God! The way it fills my heart with love
Oh, my! How it fills my soul with happiness
Holding her around the waist ...
Brings me ... I think that my arm is
And I hope that my right hand...
That thought makes me blush
And brings me a million wishes
My heart whispering softly to Heavens
Making a promise in his ear saying: I love her ...
And I cannot wait for her to come to me
With a smile on her face and
To bring joy
In the heartbeats of my heart
And stay there forever
I gazed at the warmth
in your smile,
careful not to meet your eyes,
stepping back just enough
to stay in control.
Sitting on the balcony,
waiting to watch
your first sip of coffee,
where sunlight touched your skin,
and I lost my balance quietly.
I could choose to touch,
embrace,
even choose to love you.
I didn't.
This fleeting moment
is too fragile
to endure a touch.
Longing to become
two statues mirroring each other,
hung from a cathedral,
resisting time.
Thousands would cross between us,
yet I would remain fixed on you.
Witnessing uncountable battles
over the centuries,
gazing at the fractures in you.
Beneath loud voices in prayer,
and still I would find
your silence.
When our time comes,
even reduced to dust,
we would resist.
Paralyzed in memory,
frozen in pictures made of us,
carried through stories
that will age before us.
In that stillness,
I would hold nothing of the world.
A simple move
would be impossible.
Still—
I would have you.
Now—
I realize
I was yours too.
& the cotton-mouthed bliss is
a life i dissolve into
can anybody apart from us feel?
amid solar pulses i exist under your orbit,
speaking into you
bright-bodied in rampant succesion to lone Junes
from when the days were long
and realisations sprung like fresh fruit, the first bite
thirsty after a winter drought
ive always been a trite conversationalist
but now we exist beneath the macabre skies,
in wake of the suns divorce
speak to me in those laden prophecies
the language you save for disasters
my words scatter within your radiations and i am pool-drunk
chlorine chasing a summer theophany,
busy understanding the world through you
I fear these words will be the Achilles’ heel to our psyche,
To write slow allows truth.
Caught in someone’s fabric, a changed perspective.
To love real is to accept pain.
Memories racing to be the first to make me smile,
To remember shows your story was always interesting.
Why do we do what causes hurt?
For the longing of someone.
Why is life intertwined?
The variety of colors can make even a poor quilt desirable.
There lies a dark journey before us all,
What we find will be scornful words and actions
Cast upon you by me,
And me upon you.
When settled dust comes to rest,
Standing will be something that will stand forever for no one to see.
An effigy to our existence,
Could not care less if built like an eye in the woods or for all to see like Lady
Liberty.
Stood proud, built through conflict and turmoil alike.
A statue — what the plaque will read, haven’t a clue.
Time keeps going
My love keeps ticking
My hands keep revolving
Over the numbers shared
With you
For a moment
My little hand
Stopped and stood still
On a 9
Imagining a cloud beneath me
I’m floating
This is how you
Make me feel
I looked up
Met you at 11:11
We reset
Time begins again….
Enchanted by your voice, I almost fell asleep,
in a field full of sunflowers, dreaming reality could mirror dreams.
I followed you so far, unconcerned by the fatigue,
walking through danger just to keep my place beside you.
Loved you so hard, when I saw you I missed a beat,
rational as I am, I was startled that I lost my breath.
I carried it to wake with you beside me,
wondering at night if an angel could be disguised.
Hearing you, I learned that dreams could also become scary.
Seeing you near taught me vigilance.
Loving you moved me across worlds — but I had traveled far enough.
Carrying it this long, I saw our colors — bold and subtle — filling the canvas.
Now.
My ears can listen from afar, but I cannot hear you.
My legs could cross layers of hell, but not to reach you.
My heart now beats fast as falling leaves, but not seeing you pass by.
I still carry it — but it no longer shines the same.
I’m listening deeper than the words you say,
Hearing what your silence keeps safe.
The boy with the ladybug on his shoulder,
Guess they were right when they told us—
“No more you and me, now it’s we,”
Funny how truth sounds holy.
Love grows, feelings anticipated,
Lips touch, time stays satiated,
Dark abyss, starry cosmic, obliterated,
My body an oasis, water weeps, don’t keep me waiting.
Every second’s heavy, every moment weighted,
Heart like a hazy orange, dream sky in the morning,
Light spills through my soul, every thought still roaming.
No more you and me, now it’s we,
Falling slow, but it’s everything,
If love’s a dream, don’t wake me please,
Stay right here inside this feeling.
No more you and me, now it’s we,
Your touch speaks in poetry,
If happiness is believing, then believe with me.
This leaf an arm from its tree
Which reached out for
But wasn’t freed
It fell, like she fell
Down two more floors
Then the one where she was supposed to stand
Wind raked through a blush of veins
And spread like hair on her face
A hand like her had fallen short
Of holding on and holding fort
Eyes that look upon blurry face
witness it fall
With sunflower grace of movement
Forever slow
She witnesses as host of all
This loss of glow
Finally, a pull of gaunt
Dragging vestige pulled her forth
She had fallen she had fell
Now she stands among herself
Hand in her own hair she pulls it to her own
And eye of tree which does not see witnesses
The hand which held it had been long gone
And forgotten pulse had forsworn host
So ghostly death of amber leaf
Looked down upon its image
And dragged its hands through dying veins
As rotting wood and greying hands
Took visage of a rotting home
From eye of wood detached from hand
And so therefore detached from soul
Witness grace from separate brains
And witness that grace die
Travel inward, walking in tight
corridors of a rundown maze.
Suffocating within these bricks,
built by sweat and tears.
Obfuscated by the mist that,
blinds, and smells rosemary.
Turns creating uncountable corners,
leaving space for beings to breathe.
Beings that watch — and stalk.
The cracks on the walls can seduce
with outward's gaze, but there is no escape.
Any window or ledges — and the thought
of walking back to face them shivers my soul.
These walls built me too, each drop
of sweat, like metal for hardening.
Each drop of tear, like light for clarity.
Lost, but I keep moving.
Not chained, just surrounded.
I was never alone, like a kid
that leaves crumbles in the forest.
I was already in pieces, pieces of my own spirit.
They were me.
They told me:
“Pierce the pain. Look beyond.”
I did not.
I cannot will —
I can only long.
Imust not become nothing.
I remain unfinished.
My heart breaks
over his indifference.
He sweeps past me
as though I am nothing -
nothing,
as though I am invisible,
eyes brimming with hope,
with love.
My heart breaks.
Perhaps I am invisible to Him.
Perhaps I am unimportant.
Yet to me, he is the opposite.
Oh my,
this bloody boy -
my only propulsion.
My heart shatters,
shatters in pieces.
My eyes burn,
burn from tears -
tears without end,
dropping from my eyes
like a silent English shower.
My heart shatters.
I see it now:
he made it clear.
I am nothing.
He doesn’t care.
He never did.
I was foolish…
My foolish heart is broken.
I believed in love.
He wrote me -
but why?
He cared.
I know it to be so.
Yet he fooled me.
My foolish heart is broken.
Never to be fixed.
I give you my word,
you, otherworldly boy -
I will never fall for it,
fall for this insidious feeling,
other fools call love.
My fingers have become numb from writing about my pain, this notebook has become my solitude, something to keep me sane.
My soul feels so thin and on the verge of empty, caused by the hurt of all those that left me.
Maybe I'll find some place where I can feel the warmth again, but my question is not only where but also when?
Maybe I should accept this sad, hollowed home, a place I've grown to hate and always feel so alone.
The darkness that follows, a shadow on my name, creeps beyond the door of my brains frame.
Within the silent cave were my pain may sleep, a violent volcano and my heart it keeps.
The bubbling lava waiting to erupt, an escape from this world I see as corrupt.
My words may seem empty to a hollowed soul, so I shall remain in my home of coal.
It smells like sprinklers
hot pavement
And dirt
the sky is six different colors
And the cicadas sing at six different octaves
my face is red
Hair wet with sweat
From chasing the cat
Around the yard
Barefoot in the grass
That morning momma had made chocolate chip pancakes
With butter and honey
She braided my sisters hair while I sang “blank space”
By taylor swift
Screaming over the speaker which played wide and loud
And the squirrel stole the seeds from the birdfeeder
And the night before
Daddy read us one bedtime story
Even thought my sister had begged for two
We sat sulking in our princess dresses
That smelled like old toys
And home
Daddy closed the book
And turned on the galaxy light as he walked out
Made sure the door was ajar
To let the light in
And let the cat in
And four years before that I was new
And red
And I smelled like baby powder
Hospitals
Blood
And
Life
My skin was soft
and i screamed
Momma didn’t wear makeup
or cry quite as much
My sister just learned to walk
and she held me with shaking hands
And just then
Everything sounded like music
and summer never ended
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