Funny Flower Poems | Examples

These Funny Flower poems are examples of Flower poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Flower Funny poems written by international poets.


Premium MemberMan-Shaped Orchid



An Italian Orchid that is native to the Mediterranean,
a cluster of pink/purple blooms that resemble men,
each wearing a hat and has a funny face too,
they grow in sun-drenched meadow,
and they dance and in the breezes,
oh, such a rare and unique flower,
that also looks like a person . . .


Premium Membercock'er doodle do

.
            woops
   for mine fellowz
     who          edvard'z
            knowz
           lissp'siz
        'er'z     love'n       
               uh  
               shot
            ((owch))
                 eve

                owch
                    ')

Premium MemberButterflies and Bees

Some say "butterfly", some say "bee" -
it's the pollination Olympics from sea to sea.
I interviewed a flower, shy and demure -
"Which is the insect that you prefer?"
It turns out she wasn't so shy at all,
yapping like she was on sodium pentothal.
"A butterfly has such beautiful wings,
while a bee buzzes and sometimes stings,
and as far as I know, nobody has heard
of a butterfly ever saying a word.
A bee works hard and makes lots of honey,
but a butterfly looks better and his jokes are funny.
So, I married the bee, because he can provide,
but I love to see the butterfly on the side."

Premium MemberMy Funny Valentine

Lady out of roses of red, this news hit him hard in the head. Lilies of blue, expensive hue, more than expensive loaf of bread.

Premium MemberBlack Water Smack

Throughout our lives, Dad and I have done many things together.
From coloring books to fishing, from wiffleball to hardball
To tune-ups on secondhand cars, casinos, and funerals.

In the parking lot after one particularly salty service:
Dad and I ended up holding a pair of funeral vases
The eulogist barked, "Don't forget to pour out the water".
Side by side and on cue, 
Dad and I clownishly poured the flower water 
onto the funeral home parking lot.
The water hit with a surprisingly cartoonish smack...
Getting our shoes soaking wet. We both laughed, then said our goodbyes.
I like to think Brother Angel was giggling with us, once again.


Premium MemberSurprise

fine new fernery two forgotten dahlias innocently bud

Premium MemberPrunellas Majestic Myrtles

Prunella loved the color purple, planting some lovely Crepe Myrtle’s; they had a humongous growth spurt, all due to her nitro-rich dirt, now her yard’s a Myrtle hurdle.
6-11-2022 Contest / A Funny Limerick - Any Theme Contest Tania kitchen

Premium MemberNo Live Dead Flowers Grams Wants a Sports Car-

Grams, She said don't give me thm dead flowers plae em by the tree~ Dun giv me no live flowers Fer they will wilt wit me Dun giv me naw dead flowers I wan sumthin alive Give me sumthin that movin like a sports car LOL

Premium MemberMy Flower Garden-

You are my flower tall slender darling Your body I hold within my hands I caress your stature The heartbeats atop my chest I'm a witness I love you madly I stroke your hair my hands embrace your face so budding so sweet You move so elegant with grace come to my garden, my darling Stand as we embrace we plant together we grow vertical We caress as we rest we confess as we together cultivate the garden
2/9/22 Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2022

Premium MemberBumbly Bees

I loves … I loves … 
Bumbly Bees,
With skinny legs
And big fat knees.

With golden rings
And black ones too,
They buzzy buzz
As all bees do.

They hover low
As they have planned,
Choose a flower
And then they land.

Grabs some pollen
And buzzes away,
But will be back
One bumbly day.

I loves … I loves … 
Bumbly Bees,
With skinny legs
And big fat knees.

Premium MemberJello

JELLO

I hate jello because it is a food
once in your mouth it wiggles moves
reminds me of what worms must feel like to eat
grosses me out for the life of me

Who had such a fantasy
to make some squishy protein
From animal parts most disgusting
Food served in hospitals observably 

Jellied cranberries a similar food
Would rather have cranberry juice
And souse meat looks like it is raw
It is jellied for bellies after all

Now if jello had a super power
like curing disease or growing flower
I still could not keep it down
Jello is gross even with fruit I’ve found.

Premium MemberLove Is Not Love That Alters

love has drifted and shifted from old days,
from daisies, roses and chocolate trays,
we fall in love, not after meet and look,
love is often through twitter or facebook!

her eyes were so dreamy on her webpage,
her lips so rosy they lit in me rage,
I fondled, kissed the pillow next to me,
dreamt with her I had a family tree!

I messaged her twice and got no reply,
good girls of that age I knew would be shy,
googled and Yahood, finally tracked her down,
knew exactly where she lived in my town!

that evening when we met, my love went cold,
her photo on her webpage was 30 years old!

Written 27/06/2021
Contemporary Sonnet poetry contest
Charlotte Puddifoot sponsored
10 syllables each line
14 lines aabb rhyme sequence with final rhyming couplet.

Premium MemberValentine's Day -- Have It Your Way

Happy Valentine's Day
  Have it your way
Like a horse eats his hay
  Snarf down these chocolates, OK?...

Yes, Ma'am. Happy Valentine's Day
  And I don't give a hoot what you say
That bouquet of 'fresh roses' on display
  Is not worth two weeks of my pay....

Oh, alright. You win. I tossed all my principles away
  And bought you those smelly roses anyway
So, chocolate and roses: Hey, let's go all the way
  I'll meet you in bed ~ Masks off, Whuddyasay?

Premium MemberI Am a Secret Flower Boy

On my every pair
  of underwear
I have drawn
  a flower

Pink tulip here
  red rose there
I take them off
  to shower

My wife, amazed
  She questions me
"Is the the man
  I married?"

I say, "Yes, dear. Just
  be glad my blooms
don't pollinate ~ with
  bees instead of faeries

Premium MemberFlower Power

White seas of clover
seduce armies of honeys
sweet summer of love

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